Happy New Year.
I am praying that my next year is more people-oriented than this last one was. I find myself being more 'lonely' than normal lately.
I think it is about time I met someone. I hope God agrees.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
10
I hate liars. I hate being lied to. And I hate being made a fool of. I also hate being played, through lies and manipulations. I hate it when people try to destroy you through falsehoods.
This explains why 2008 was such a horrible year for me. It should also explain why I have taken the entirety of 2009 off from people, just stuck with myself (because I can be honest with myself) for the most part.
And I have great expectations, that 2010 will show me that there are people out there that are worth trusting, because they are truthful and they are real.
I cannot take another year of getting burned.
Realistically, I also cannot take another year of staying by myself, either...
I have found happiness and contentment in the last year...but I have nobody to share it with, nobody to share ME with. That is sad, because that means that somebody out there is missing out on the blessing that is me!
Let's hear it for 2010; my breakout party.
This explains why 2008 was such a horrible year for me. It should also explain why I have taken the entirety of 2009 off from people, just stuck with myself (because I can be honest with myself) for the most part.
And I have great expectations, that 2010 will show me that there are people out there that are worth trusting, because they are truthful and they are real.
I cannot take another year of getting burned.
Realistically, I also cannot take another year of staying by myself, either...
I have found happiness and contentment in the last year...but I have nobody to share it with, nobody to share ME with. That is sad, because that means that somebody out there is missing out on the blessing that is me!
Let's hear it for 2010; my breakout party.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Ankle
Okay, so i twisted my ankle on December 6th 2009.
Here are photos from December 7th.
From December 9th.
From December 14th.
From December 15th.
Today is now December 18th. My top of my foot, my ankle, and around my ankle bones on either side of my foot, are all still somewhat swollen. I've iced it, and that has helped bring some of the swelling down. All the ugly red bruising is still there, and it is tender to the touch. Hard to beleive that I had no pain from this, isn't it? God is good.
Here are photos from December 7th.
From December 9th.
From December 14th.
From December 15th.
Today is now December 18th. My top of my foot, my ankle, and around my ankle bones on either side of my foot, are all still somewhat swollen. I've iced it, and that has helped bring some of the swelling down. All the ugly red bruising is still there, and it is tender to the touch. Hard to beleive that I had no pain from this, isn't it? God is good.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
...with a twist...
I twisted my ankle 8 and a half days ago.
I do not heal very quickly anymore. Although 90% of the swelling has disappeared, my right ankle is still a LOT bigger than my left one. As the swelling recedes, the ugly bruises are showing through. All down the outside of my foot, and around my anklebone area. That was two days ago. Still have those bruises, but now they have been joined by bruising on my toes as well. Not just normal-type bruises, but angry dark red bruises.
I will hopefully get around to posting a few photos soon...
I do not heal very quickly anymore. Although 90% of the swelling has disappeared, my right ankle is still a LOT bigger than my left one. As the swelling recedes, the ugly bruises are showing through. All down the outside of my foot, and around my anklebone area. That was two days ago. Still have those bruises, but now they have been joined by bruising on my toes as well. Not just normal-type bruises, but angry dark red bruises.
I will hopefully get around to posting a few photos soon...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
hero-need
I don’t want to be a cowboy. But I do want to be a hero.
Perhaps this “hero-need” is what drives my fascination with certain things, like - Action movies with a clearly-defined heroic male lead, the rough and tough guys who can manage to handle any bad situation thrown at them, and save not just themselves but those in need around them. Or comic-book superheroes, those blessed with great powers or abilities and who use them to fight injustice. And especially, fantasy-based video games...
Really, there is no greater thrill for me, than to feel a connect ion with a character who you propel through their “life”, making their moral choices for them, choosing their dialogue and interactions, and using their physical abilities to overcome great odds to be a hero on behalf of the downtrodden and needy who cannot protect themselves.
It is more than a desire, it is a NEED. Perhaps this need is more powerful within me, after having failed so many times, in so many opportunities, to be that hero in my life to somebody else. In both of my marriages, in spite of the fact that I truly believe that I am a “nice guy”, I failed to be a lasting hero figure to my spouses. I also had a “close friendship” in the last few years that I ended up failing miserably with, much to my chagrin and internal pain. So, having failed at this important part of my life too many times, I reach out to find other ways to self-soothe my pain and distress, trying to find ways to pump up that fragmented hero portion within myself. Mind you, for all the times that I have failed at being a hero, how often have I recollected the times that, to somebody else, I WAS a hero? Perhaps that is part of the problem; that I only remember the times I failed, and not at all the times that I succeeded...
So, I pour myself into video games. I choose fantasy-based games, and I go about creating a character that is perhaps part of my own deep-seated desires to be a hero, and part of my character is perhaps quite literally part of my character; that is to say, perhaps in the creation process (and, as children of God, what is more natural for us than to create?) I actually infuse my video-character with elements of my own real character (or what I envision my own character to be, anyways).
Then, I walk my character through the video-world, choosing situations that can enlarge my heroic persona. It is funny, but I NEVER play an evil character. It goes against what I am, what I stand for. I long for a life in which your good morality, together with your compassion and your physical fitness, would in and of itself allow you to be a hero if you so desire. But it does not exist, at least not in the “real” world.
So, I recently finished playing Neverwinter Nights 2, which was a totally awesome game, just as good (if not slightly better) than the original Neverwinter Nights. Now, I have moved on to playing Dragon Age: Origins. I was originally a little hesitant about this game, there was some nervousness that it might be too hard or difficult for me, as I am NOT a professional gamer; indeed, my very slow reaction time means I refuse to play any “real time” strategy games, I only play games where you can pause battles and give out commands to your party members one turn at a time. Anyways...Dragon Age: Origins is an awesome game. Seriously, out of all the fantasy video games that I have played, this looks like totally the best one ever. The graphics are incredible, the facial details are amazing. The way that you can control the destiny of your character...man! The choices that your character can make, in every conversation, is almost limitless, and each choice leads you down a path to yet more choices that you unlock through the choices you have already made. Plus, you have a choice of about 12 different character backgrounds to choose from, and depending on which one you choose, the game-play is completely different than if you had chosen another background. The length, breadth, and scope of this game, is beyond my imagination to conceive of. All in all, it is beautiful, a thing of true beauty.
For those of you who are interested in these things, you can read all about my adventures in various video-game worlds at my fantasy-game blog site at http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
There, you can see me wax poetic about my very favourite video game of all time, Baldur’s Gate. As well, you can click on the various links and read my day-by-day adventures in games such as Icewind Dale, Neverwinter Nights 2, and now, Dragon Age: Origins. Unfortunately for all reading this, at that blog I will proboably never mention the world's greatest coffee shop, Tim Horton's. Sorry 'bout that; get your daily fix by actually going to Timmy's and buying yourself a great coffee (and pick me up one too! XL, 2 cream! Thanx!).
In real life, I am well aware that moral goodness and physical strength do not make a person into a hero, the rescuer of thousands who is adored forever. That is just not reality. We, as people, can do little things that help us feel heroic, but can never truly be “heroes” in the broader and more grandiose use of the term. Nevertheless, I am blessed to have a close friendship with The Hero, Jesus Christ, and by serving under His kingly banner I can support and be on the side of The Hero, the only hero this world will ever need. This is a good time to mention, that playing these sorts of games, actually helps one understand a lot better how Kingdom principles work. Nowadays, we no longer have kings and kingdoms, we either have dictators or democracies. Because of that, most people do not understand how a kingdom works, the relationships that must exist between the King and His people, and how ambassadors of the King must act and present themselves. But, playing games (and reading books, etcetera) that operate under the principles of a kingdom help me to understand this better.
And another point to mention here is that no hero can rescue or save someone who does not desire to be rescued or saved. Even God Himself understands and must abide by that truth. As much as you try to help another, if the sin of pride keeps them from wanting your help, then you cannot help them, try as you might. I have ran into this truth (head-on at a dead run, usually) many times in my life. The faster you are going at the time, and the more determined you are to save the person, the more it hurts when you hit that wall and fall flat. The last time it happened to me, it sucked the air out of my lungs, and the very will-to-go-on out of my life; it made me want to die. I did not want to live in a world where people could choose to stay in their present conditions of poverty, abuse, hopelessness, and Godlessness, and where there was not one dang thing I could do about it, try as I might. It took years to recover enough to be able to pick myself up and move on. And it will take my entire life and more to totally recover from this hit to my very soul. And, here is the thing...as much as this hurt me, how much more must it hurt my King and my Lord, when He feels the pain from every single person who does not accept Him? Yet, He goes on, He does not give up. And that is why He is my Hero, why He is the One I trust to save me. Because He never quits, He never fails, and He never stops loving and acting in a loving manner towards me. And that is why Jesus Christ is my ultimate Hero.
In my gaming in Dragon Age: Origins, I was able to throw in a little bit of my love of comic book characters into it. My character has a marabi war-hound as a companion, a large dog the size of a small pony that only can be controlled by its one master. The first time that I see this war-hound, the game asked me to choose a name for it, that it would then be known by. My love of the Teen Titans animated television series led me to choose the superhero Cyborg’s rallying cry as a name for my pet; and thus, my marabi war-hound was dubbed “Booyah”.
Well, that is it for now. Ta-ta!
Perhaps this “hero-need” is what drives my fascination with certain things, like - Action movies with a clearly-defined heroic male lead, the rough and tough guys who can manage to handle any bad situation thrown at them, and save not just themselves but those in need around them. Or comic-book superheroes, those blessed with great powers or abilities and who use them to fight injustice. And especially, fantasy-based video games...
Really, there is no greater thrill for me, than to feel a connect ion with a character who you propel through their “life”, making their moral choices for them, choosing their dialogue and interactions, and using their physical abilities to overcome great odds to be a hero on behalf of the downtrodden and needy who cannot protect themselves.
It is more than a desire, it is a NEED. Perhaps this need is more powerful within me, after having failed so many times, in so many opportunities, to be that hero in my life to somebody else. In both of my marriages, in spite of the fact that I truly believe that I am a “nice guy”, I failed to be a lasting hero figure to my spouses. I also had a “close friendship” in the last few years that I ended up failing miserably with, much to my chagrin and internal pain. So, having failed at this important part of my life too many times, I reach out to find other ways to self-soothe my pain and distress, trying to find ways to pump up that fragmented hero portion within myself. Mind you, for all the times that I have failed at being a hero, how often have I recollected the times that, to somebody else, I WAS a hero? Perhaps that is part of the problem; that I only remember the times I failed, and not at all the times that I succeeded...
So, I pour myself into video games. I choose fantasy-based games, and I go about creating a character that is perhaps part of my own deep-seated desires to be a hero, and part of my character is perhaps quite literally part of my character; that is to say, perhaps in the creation process (and, as children of God, what is more natural for us than to create?) I actually infuse my video-character with elements of my own real character (or what I envision my own character to be, anyways).
Then, I walk my character through the video-world, choosing situations that can enlarge my heroic persona. It is funny, but I NEVER play an evil character. It goes against what I am, what I stand for. I long for a life in which your good morality, together with your compassion and your physical fitness, would in and of itself allow you to be a hero if you so desire. But it does not exist, at least not in the “real” world.
So, I recently finished playing Neverwinter Nights 2, which was a totally awesome game, just as good (if not slightly better) than the original Neverwinter Nights. Now, I have moved on to playing Dragon Age: Origins. I was originally a little hesitant about this game, there was some nervousness that it might be too hard or difficult for me, as I am NOT a professional gamer; indeed, my very slow reaction time means I refuse to play any “real time” strategy games, I only play games where you can pause battles and give out commands to your party members one turn at a time. Anyways...Dragon Age: Origins is an awesome game. Seriously, out of all the fantasy video games that I have played, this looks like totally the best one ever. The graphics are incredible, the facial details are amazing. The way that you can control the destiny of your character...man! The choices that your character can make, in every conversation, is almost limitless, and each choice leads you down a path to yet more choices that you unlock through the choices you have already made. Plus, you have a choice of about 12 different character backgrounds to choose from, and depending on which one you choose, the game-play is completely different than if you had chosen another background. The length, breadth, and scope of this game, is beyond my imagination to conceive of. All in all, it is beautiful, a thing of true beauty.
For those of you who are interested in these things, you can read all about my adventures in various video-game worlds at my fantasy-game blog site at http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
There, you can see me wax poetic about my very favourite video game of all time, Baldur’s Gate. As well, you can click on the various links and read my day-by-day adventures in games such as Icewind Dale, Neverwinter Nights 2, and now, Dragon Age: Origins. Unfortunately for all reading this, at that blog I will proboably never mention the world's greatest coffee shop, Tim Horton's. Sorry 'bout that; get your daily fix by actually going to Timmy's and buying yourself a great coffee (and pick me up one too! XL, 2 cream! Thanx!).
In real life, I am well aware that moral goodness and physical strength do not make a person into a hero, the rescuer of thousands who is adored forever. That is just not reality. We, as people, can do little things that help us feel heroic, but can never truly be “heroes” in the broader and more grandiose use of the term. Nevertheless, I am blessed to have a close friendship with The Hero, Jesus Christ, and by serving under His kingly banner I can support and be on the side of The Hero, the only hero this world will ever need. This is a good time to mention, that playing these sorts of games, actually helps one understand a lot better how Kingdom principles work. Nowadays, we no longer have kings and kingdoms, we either have dictators or democracies. Because of that, most people do not understand how a kingdom works, the relationships that must exist between the King and His people, and how ambassadors of the King must act and present themselves. But, playing games (and reading books, etcetera) that operate under the principles of a kingdom help me to understand this better.
And another point to mention here is that no hero can rescue or save someone who does not desire to be rescued or saved. Even God Himself understands and must abide by that truth. As much as you try to help another, if the sin of pride keeps them from wanting your help, then you cannot help them, try as you might. I have ran into this truth (head-on at a dead run, usually) many times in my life. The faster you are going at the time, and the more determined you are to save the person, the more it hurts when you hit that wall and fall flat. The last time it happened to me, it sucked the air out of my lungs, and the very will-to-go-on out of my life; it made me want to die. I did not want to live in a world where people could choose to stay in their present conditions of poverty, abuse, hopelessness, and Godlessness, and where there was not one dang thing I could do about it, try as I might. It took years to recover enough to be able to pick myself up and move on. And it will take my entire life and more to totally recover from this hit to my very soul. And, here is the thing...as much as this hurt me, how much more must it hurt my King and my Lord, when He feels the pain from every single person who does not accept Him? Yet, He goes on, He does not give up. And that is why He is my Hero, why He is the One I trust to save me. Because He never quits, He never fails, and He never stops loving and acting in a loving manner towards me. And that is why Jesus Christ is my ultimate Hero.
In my gaming in Dragon Age: Origins, I was able to throw in a little bit of my love of comic book characters into it. My character has a marabi war-hound as a companion, a large dog the size of a small pony that only can be controlled by its one master. The first time that I see this war-hound, the game asked me to choose a name for it, that it would then be known by. My love of the Teen Titans animated television series led me to choose the superhero Cyborg’s rallying cry as a name for my pet; and thus, my marabi war-hound was dubbed “Booyah”.
Well, that is it for now. Ta-ta!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Al Gore's ClimateGate
(from the LA Times, December 4th, 2009)
Take Back Al Gore's Oscar, 2 Academy Members Demand In Light Of ClimateGate
No, it wouldn't do anything for the environment.
But two Hollywood conservatives (yes, there are some) have called upon the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to rescind the prestigious, profitable gold Oscar statuette that it gave ex-Vice President Al Gore et al two years ago for the environmental movie "An Inconvenient Truth."
Roger L. Simon and Lionel Chetwynd, both Academy members, are among a small, meandering pack of known political conservatives still believed to be on the loose in the liberal bastion of movie-making.
In 2007, Hollywood's Academy sanctified Gore's cinematic message of global warming with its famous statue, enriched his earnings by $100,000 per 85-minute appearance ( http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2007/07/more-on-gore.html ) and helped elevate the Tennesseean's profile to win the Nobel Peace Prize despite losing the election battle of 2000 to a Texan and living in a large house with lots of energy-driven appliances.
Chetwynd and Simon were prompted to make their hopeless demand this week by the....
...leak two weeks ago of a blizzard of British academic e-mails purporting to show that scientists at the University of East Anglia Climatic Research Unit systematically falsified data to document the appearance of global warming in recent years.
The university is reportedly investigating the claims, which added dry fuel to the never-ending political debate over whether the Earth really is warming as a result of human activity or if it's just normal natural cycles and the debate is what's heated. The demand to withdraw Gore's award provides yet another opportunity to argue.
The startling leak comes at an inconvenient time just before next week's United Nations' climate change meeting that will cause an immense carbon footprint with thousands of people flying up or over to Denmark to talk about saving the environment.
These airplanes will include Air Force One with its primary passenger President Obama, who's returning to the Copenhagen scene where he didn't help win the 2016 Summer Olympics for Chicago, which could do with a little global warming at this time of year.
Simon, a screenwriter who is also chief executive officer of Pajamas Media, a network of conservative online blogs, conceded he knew of no precedent for the Academy withdrawing a previously-awarded Oscar, despite decades of Hollywood hijinks and worse. But, he added, "I think they should rescind this one."
The controversial leaked documents have been assembled here by Pajamas Media ( http://www.climate-gate.org/ ) and the Competitive Enterprise Institute. The joint demand by Simon and filmmaker Chetwynd is available on video here ( http://www.pjtv.com/video/Poliwood/Climategate_Hits_Hollywood%3A_Should_the_Academy_Rescind_Gore%27s_Oscar%3F/2780/;jsessionid=abcowwO-8vPzC5mPVAyvs ).
The television news-watching world in America has not learned much about the so-called Climategate scandal because it has not really been mentioned on the air except for a notorious cable news channel named for a three-lettered, wily, wild animal that often seems to revel in debunking liberal shibbeloths.
Network news programs have been far more concerned with the obviously more important White House party-crasher story involving a couple of formally-dressed phonies.
The falsified documents do not come up in Gore interview excerpts published late last night here ( http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1209/30063.html ) by Politico's John F. Harris and Mike Allen.
This week White House Press Secy. Robert Gibbs claimed that global warming was no longer in dispute by most people. But a subsequent Rasmussen Reports poll ( http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/current_events/environment_energy/americans_skeptical_of_science_behind_global_warming ) of Americans finds only one in four adults believe most scientists agree on the topic.
And while only 20% claim to have followed the leaked e-mail story Very Closely, nearly 60% believe it is at least somewhat likely that scientists have falsified environmental data to support their own global warming beliefs and theories.
-- Andrew Malcolm
Take Back Al Gore's Oscar, 2 Academy Members Demand In Light Of ClimateGate
No, it wouldn't do anything for the environment.
But two Hollywood conservatives (yes, there are some) have called upon the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to rescind the prestigious, profitable gold Oscar statuette that it gave ex-Vice President Al Gore et al two years ago for the environmental movie "An Inconvenient Truth."
Roger L. Simon and Lionel Chetwynd, both Academy members, are among a small, meandering pack of known political conservatives still believed to be on the loose in the liberal bastion of movie-making.
In 2007, Hollywood's Academy sanctified Gore's cinematic message of global warming with its famous statue, enriched his earnings by $100,000 per 85-minute appearance ( http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2007/07/more-on-gore.html ) and helped elevate the Tennesseean's profile to win the Nobel Peace Prize despite losing the election battle of 2000 to a Texan and living in a large house with lots of energy-driven appliances.
Chetwynd and Simon were prompted to make their hopeless demand this week by the....
...leak two weeks ago of a blizzard of British academic e-mails purporting to show that scientists at the University of East Anglia Climatic Research Unit systematically falsified data to document the appearance of global warming in recent years.
The university is reportedly investigating the claims, which added dry fuel to the never-ending political debate over whether the Earth really is warming as a result of human activity or if it's just normal natural cycles and the debate is what's heated. The demand to withdraw Gore's award provides yet another opportunity to argue.
The startling leak comes at an inconvenient time just before next week's United Nations' climate change meeting that will cause an immense carbon footprint with thousands of people flying up or over to Denmark to talk about saving the environment.
These airplanes will include Air Force One with its primary passenger President Obama, who's returning to the Copenhagen scene where he didn't help win the 2016 Summer Olympics for Chicago, which could do with a little global warming at this time of year.
Simon, a screenwriter who is also chief executive officer of Pajamas Media, a network of conservative online blogs, conceded he knew of no precedent for the Academy withdrawing a previously-awarded Oscar, despite decades of Hollywood hijinks and worse. But, he added, "I think they should rescind this one."
The controversial leaked documents have been assembled here by Pajamas Media ( http://www.climate-gate.org/ ) and the Competitive Enterprise Institute. The joint demand by Simon and filmmaker Chetwynd is available on video here ( http://www.pjtv.com/video/Poliwood/Climategate_Hits_Hollywood%3A_Should_the_Academy_Rescind_Gore%27s_Oscar%3F/2780/;jsessionid=abcowwO-8vPzC5mPVAyvs ).
The television news-watching world in America has not learned much about the so-called Climategate scandal because it has not really been mentioned on the air except for a notorious cable news channel named for a three-lettered, wily, wild animal that often seems to revel in debunking liberal shibbeloths.
Network news programs have been far more concerned with the obviously more important White House party-crasher story involving a couple of formally-dressed phonies.
The falsified documents do not come up in Gore interview excerpts published late last night here ( http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1209/30063.html ) by Politico's John F. Harris and Mike Allen.
This week White House Press Secy. Robert Gibbs claimed that global warming was no longer in dispute by most people. But a subsequent Rasmussen Reports poll ( http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/current_events/environment_energy/americans_skeptical_of_science_behind_global_warming ) of Americans finds only one in four adults believe most scientists agree on the topic.
And while only 20% claim to have followed the leaked e-mail story Very Closely, nearly 60% believe it is at least somewhat likely that scientists have falsified environmental data to support their own global warming beliefs and theories.
-- Andrew Malcolm
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Higher Learning
Something I wrote up a few days ago during some downtime at work, but forgot about until now...
Some things in life that I have learned lately...
There is no grey. There is absolute truth, and there is absolute right and absolute wrong.
That being said, when it comes to dealing with people, there is no black and white. Because, quite simply, it is impossible to judge a person or a situation involving people without literally being the person you are attempting to judge. What looks black or white from the inside, may look entirely different when you are the person involved.
God is the only Judge, so stop trying to figure everything out. Being willing to stop and smile and relax, to let go and let God, this is the best way to live life. Live life to the fullest, and live it well by living it for God. Concentrate on loving God and spending time with Him, and allow others the freedom to do as they choose (and they'll answer to God if need be, but not to you).
Let others work out their own walk with God. Work on your own walk. Don’t judge, just accept others, and love others.
Don’t point fingers at others, because God does not point fingers at you. You are only forgiven, because Jesus paid the price you could not. It wasn’t anything you did, so stop comparing yourself to others (or others to you).
The harder that you try to understand people (and situations), the more screwed up you will get. The trick is to stop trying to understand things; understanding is just another word for controlling. My job is to love God, and to show love to others; let God be in control, He is much more qualified than I am.
"Aloneness" and "Loneliness" are too completely different things; neither of them are good for a person, long-term. Interestingly enough, a person can be alone and yet not lonely, and a person can also be lonely and yet not alone.
One of the most important things that you can give away, is grace. If you give grace to others, it means that you accept them where they are at on their journey (and we are all on a journey, aren’t we?). You do not judge them, because God is the only One Who can judge. We accept them and love them, not based on what they have or have not done, but based on the fact that God loves them, plain and simple. Giving people grace, means you can allow them to fall, allow them to fail, because quite frankly you recognize that God is not finished with them yet so they are allowed to be imperfect (just like you are).
Some things in life that I have learned lately...
There is no grey. There is absolute truth, and there is absolute right and absolute wrong.
That being said, when it comes to dealing with people, there is no black and white. Because, quite simply, it is impossible to judge a person or a situation involving people without literally being the person you are attempting to judge. What looks black or white from the inside, may look entirely different when you are the person involved.
God is the only Judge, so stop trying to figure everything out. Being willing to stop and smile and relax, to let go and let God, this is the best way to live life. Live life to the fullest, and live it well by living it for God. Concentrate on loving God and spending time with Him, and allow others the freedom to do as they choose (and they'll answer to God if need be, but not to you).
Let others work out their own walk with God. Work on your own walk. Don’t judge, just accept others, and love others.
Don’t point fingers at others, because God does not point fingers at you. You are only forgiven, because Jesus paid the price you could not. It wasn’t anything you did, so stop comparing yourself to others (or others to you).
The harder that you try to understand people (and situations), the more screwed up you will get. The trick is to stop trying to understand things; understanding is just another word for controlling. My job is to love God, and to show love to others; let God be in control, He is much more qualified than I am.
"Aloneness" and "Loneliness" are too completely different things; neither of them are good for a person, long-term. Interestingly enough, a person can be alone and yet not lonely, and a person can also be lonely and yet not alone.
One of the most important things that you can give away, is grace. If you give grace to others, it means that you accept them where they are at on their journey (and we are all on a journey, aren’t we?). You do not judge them, because God is the only One Who can judge. We accept them and love them, not based on what they have or have not done, but based on the fact that God loves them, plain and simple. Giving people grace, means you can allow them to fall, allow them to fail, because quite frankly you recognize that God is not finished with them yet so they are allowed to be imperfect (just like you are).
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
you are being duped
Click the below link to watch a short (4 minute) video blog by Glenn Beck. Glenn exposes the fraud that is global warming, using real emails sent by top scientists (who nicely admit to lying to you, faking the data, and say that the earth is cooling right now and not warming at all). Honestly, just watch it! Is 4 minutes of your life going to be wasted doing nothing, or are you going to spend 4 minutes getting some truth?
http://www.glennbeck.com/content/videos/?uri=channels/338017/667734
http://www.glennbeck.com/content/videos/?uri=channels/338017/667734
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Hell
Or: "Hell - Who Is There?"
Seems to me, if you ask most Christians, the response to the question of "who is hell for" would be "sinners" or something of that nature.
I am here to say that if that is your answer, then I believe you are wrong.
I could go ahead and say the obvious thing, that hell is for the devil and the demons, that is who God created it for. But I am not trying to be that obvious, just trying to spark an interesting (one-sided) conversation.
If hell was for sinners, we would all be there. Anybody who was born a human being, was born a sinner. Anybody who breathed even one breath on this earth, has sinned. And, even though God does not call Christians "sinners" but rather "saints", we know this is not from a lack of sin on our parts but by an over-abundance of righteousness that Jesus has and gives to us.
So, who is hell for?
I am going to put it to you, that hell is for the proud. Each and every person in hell, is guilty of pride. Pride was the overriding factor that caused them to reject Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.
The Bible tells us that no one has an excuse. No one can stand before God and say that they did not know of Him. Every person born to humanity on this earth, has seen God through creation, and therefore knows that there is a God.
Ponder that for a moment. Basically put, this means that there are NO atheists. There are people who CALL themselves atheists, but God says that they actually know that there is a God, they are merely rejecting the truth.
Why do they reject the Truth? Why does anybody reject the Truth? Pride.
Pride. It was the downfall of Satan, and it is the downfall of every person who ends up in hell. This is why the Bible says that God hates the proud. We know that God does not hate sinners - if so, He would have to hate His very own people. John 3:16 teaches us that God loves sinners, and our own conversion experience has shown us that God loves us enough to die for us while we were yet sinners. But pride, pride God hates. It is pride that causes us to know the truth, but turn away from it. So "the proud", those who live a life defined by pride, does God hate them? Yes, He does; but only because of their pride, which keeps them from Him and His love for them.
Yes, it is true that sinners go to hell. But that is only a partial story. If you asked the question, "what are HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lanes for?", and I answered "they are for motorized vehicles to travel in", my answer would be correct. But, it would not tell the whole story. Yes, every lane of traffic on the road is made and designed for motorized traffic to travel on to get from one point to another point, this is absolutely true. But HOV lanes are ALSO there for vehicles carrying at least two people in them. You see, the answer was correct, but left out a lot of details.
In the same way, yes, everybody who ends up in hell is/was a sinner. But, not all people who sin end up there, just like not all vehicles can travel in an HOV lane.
The truth is, hell is for the proud. Pride is the original sin. Pride is what keeps people from God. Pride, therefore, is the sin that sends people to hell.
Seems to me, if you ask most Christians, the response to the question of "who is hell for" would be "sinners" or something of that nature.
I am here to say that if that is your answer, then I believe you are wrong.
I could go ahead and say the obvious thing, that hell is for the devil and the demons, that is who God created it for. But I am not trying to be that obvious, just trying to spark an interesting (one-sided) conversation.
If hell was for sinners, we would all be there. Anybody who was born a human being, was born a sinner. Anybody who breathed even one breath on this earth, has sinned. And, even though God does not call Christians "sinners" but rather "saints", we know this is not from a lack of sin on our parts but by an over-abundance of righteousness that Jesus has and gives to us.
So, who is hell for?
I am going to put it to you, that hell is for the proud. Each and every person in hell, is guilty of pride. Pride was the overriding factor that caused them to reject Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour.
The Bible tells us that no one has an excuse. No one can stand before God and say that they did not know of Him. Every person born to humanity on this earth, has seen God through creation, and therefore knows that there is a God.
Ponder that for a moment. Basically put, this means that there are NO atheists. There are people who CALL themselves atheists, but God says that they actually know that there is a God, they are merely rejecting the truth.
Why do they reject the Truth? Why does anybody reject the Truth? Pride.
Pride. It was the downfall of Satan, and it is the downfall of every person who ends up in hell. This is why the Bible says that God hates the proud. We know that God does not hate sinners - if so, He would have to hate His very own people. John 3:16 teaches us that God loves sinners, and our own conversion experience has shown us that God loves us enough to die for us while we were yet sinners. But pride, pride God hates. It is pride that causes us to know the truth, but turn away from it. So "the proud", those who live a life defined by pride, does God hate them? Yes, He does; but only because of their pride, which keeps them from Him and His love for them.
Yes, it is true that sinners go to hell. But that is only a partial story. If you asked the question, "what are HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lanes for?", and I answered "they are for motorized vehicles to travel in", my answer would be correct. But, it would not tell the whole story. Yes, every lane of traffic on the road is made and designed for motorized traffic to travel on to get from one point to another point, this is absolutely true. But HOV lanes are ALSO there for vehicles carrying at least two people in them. You see, the answer was correct, but left out a lot of details.
In the same way, yes, everybody who ends up in hell is/was a sinner. But, not all people who sin end up there, just like not all vehicles can travel in an HOV lane.
The truth is, hell is for the proud. Pride is the original sin. Pride is what keeps people from God. Pride, therefore, is the sin that sends people to hell.
Friday, November 20, 2009
time of my life
It has been a good weekend for me so far. My "weekend" this week was/is Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
Got to play lots of my current video game passion, Neverwinter Nights 2. Watched all of The Batman Season 4, and also got to watch Phantasm (the first one). Slam Dunk Ernest, too.
Didn't manage (yet) to get to use the laundry room here in my building. Oh well, i have enough clothes and stuff to make it another week, it'll just mean i have that much more laundry to do next week.
Watched some NHL hockey this weekend. Had to endure my Penguins losing to the Senators, but then got to enjoy the Blackhawks beating up on the Flames. Currently, I have my eye on the Washington/Montreal game. In my hockey pool, I am in a good spot for now, sitting in third place.
Just got a batch of older comics in from Mile High Comics. Probably be the last order I get from there for a while, due to budget constraints.
My first (ex-)wife has had the swine flu, so i did not get to visit with her and my girl this weekend, but we have tentative plans to visit my parents for dinner next Thursday.
Also, been busy on http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/ , where I have not only been blogging my video game adventures on a daily basis, but I found the time to upgrade the home-page a little bit and make it easier to understand (and a little bit more fun, too!).
That's all for now. Hope you are all safe and content. Slainte.
Got to play lots of my current video game passion, Neverwinter Nights 2. Watched all of The Batman Season 4, and also got to watch Phantasm (the first one). Slam Dunk Ernest, too.
Didn't manage (yet) to get to use the laundry room here in my building. Oh well, i have enough clothes and stuff to make it another week, it'll just mean i have that much more laundry to do next week.
Watched some NHL hockey this weekend. Had to endure my Penguins losing to the Senators, but then got to enjoy the Blackhawks beating up on the Flames. Currently, I have my eye on the Washington/Montreal game. In my hockey pool, I am in a good spot for now, sitting in third place.
Just got a batch of older comics in from Mile High Comics. Probably be the last order I get from there for a while, due to budget constraints.
My first (ex-)wife has had the swine flu, so i did not get to visit with her and my girl this weekend, but we have tentative plans to visit my parents for dinner next Thursday.
Also, been busy on http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/ , where I have not only been blogging my video game adventures on a daily basis, but I found the time to upgrade the home-page a little bit and make it easier to understand (and a little bit more fun, too!).
That's all for now. Hope you are all safe and content. Slainte.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
dreams
Genesis 40:8 - "Interpreting dreams is God's business," Joseph said.
And with that one line, God gets my attention.
I have had a lot of dream lately. For the last 8 days, I have had the unusual "pleasure" of waking up and remembering my dreams (which doesn't happen very much to me).
But, in this case, I think God is talking more about my dreams in life, my goals, my aspirations. He is the One Who interprets them, because He is the One Who gives them to me.
Something interesting to think upon throughout my day.
And with that one line, God gets my attention.
I have had a lot of dream lately. For the last 8 days, I have had the unusual "pleasure" of waking up and remembering my dreams (which doesn't happen very much to me).
But, in this case, I think God is talking more about my dreams in life, my goals, my aspirations. He is the One Who interprets them, because He is the One Who gives them to me.
Something interesting to think upon throughout my day.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Losing It
LOST, Season 5, available on DVD December 8th 2009.
My pre-order with amazon.ca is in; is yours?
My pre-order with amazon.ca is in; is yours?
Heart-Plummet, Free Fall Stomach
At work tonight, I saw somebody. Somebody I did NOT want to see; Melanie.
She, of course, did not see me. But I definitely saw her. Laughing. Having fun. Scheming. Walking around in MY WORKPLACE, where she almost ruined me, acting like she belongs here.
I am calmer now. Then, not so much. My heart fell into my shoes. I instantly wanted to throw up. Then I got angry, very angry.
I could say a lot, but I won't say very much right now. I am not ready to yet.
Truthfully, I was not ready to see her. Even just to "see" her...I wasn't ready. I have prayed, oh so often i have prayed, that God would not let me see her or bump into her, not ever, not unless it was His will. So, what do I then take out of this sighting of her, and my reaction to it? How do I categorize this, other than by saying "more painful than I can express"? Was God not able to answer my prayer? Did God choose to have me see her, for a reason, or was this just chance rearing its ugly head? What was the reason? What does God want to work in me through this?
So many questions. One thing I know...on the way to work, i put my favourite worship CD, Worship In The Waiting by FFH, into my car stereo. I haven't listened to it in quite some time, but felt compelled to do so today. This is the CD that God used to get me through the hard times (the hardest times my life has ever had) with Melanie. The fact that God had me put that CD into my stereo today, and that it was on God Of Promise when I drove home...that was no fluke. God knew, and God prepared. He smoothed my way somewhat.
My reaction to her, however, tells me that as much healing as I thought I had gone through, I really have a lot more to go yet...
Why, Lord? Why so much deep-down pain over this one woman? What did she do to me, and how, and why?
The older I get, the less I understand, and the more I admit it.
God, be merciful to me, and heal me.
She, of course, did not see me. But I definitely saw her. Laughing. Having fun. Scheming. Walking around in MY WORKPLACE, where she almost ruined me, acting like she belongs here.
I am calmer now. Then, not so much. My heart fell into my shoes. I instantly wanted to throw up. Then I got angry, very angry.
I could say a lot, but I won't say very much right now. I am not ready to yet.
Truthfully, I was not ready to see her. Even just to "see" her...I wasn't ready. I have prayed, oh so often i have prayed, that God would not let me see her or bump into her, not ever, not unless it was His will. So, what do I then take out of this sighting of her, and my reaction to it? How do I categorize this, other than by saying "more painful than I can express"? Was God not able to answer my prayer? Did God choose to have me see her, for a reason, or was this just chance rearing its ugly head? What was the reason? What does God want to work in me through this?
So many questions. One thing I know...on the way to work, i put my favourite worship CD, Worship In The Waiting by FFH, into my car stereo. I haven't listened to it in quite some time, but felt compelled to do so today. This is the CD that God used to get me through the hard times (the hardest times my life has ever had) with Melanie. The fact that God had me put that CD into my stereo today, and that it was on God Of Promise when I drove home...that was no fluke. God knew, and God prepared. He smoothed my way somewhat.
My reaction to her, however, tells me that as much healing as I thought I had gone through, I really have a lot more to go yet...
Why, Lord? Why so much deep-down pain over this one woman? What did she do to me, and how, and why?
The older I get, the less I understand, and the more I admit it.
God, be merciful to me, and heal me.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Chicken, Pickin', Lickin'
IF
I were, today, asked to pick the Olympic roster for the Canadian Men's Ice Hockey Team,
here is who would be on my team as of today...
Goaltenders:
1. Marc-Andre Fleury, Pittsburgh Penguins
2. Roberto Luongo, Vancouver Canucks
3. Marty Turco, Dallas Stars
Defencemen:
1st pair:
Jay Bouwmesster, Calgary Flames
Duncan Keith, Chicago Blackhawks
2nd pair:
Chris Pronger, Philadelphia Flyers
Scott Niedermayer, Anaheim Ducks
3rd pair:
Shea Weber, Nashville Predators
Robyn Regehr, Calgary Flames
extra pair:
Tyler Myers, Buffalo Sabres
Stephane Robidas, Dallas Stars
Forwards:
1st line:
Rick Nash, Columbus Blue Jackets
Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins
Jarome Iginla, Calgary Flames
2nd line:
Jeff Carter, Philadelphia Flyers
Ryan Getzlaf, Anaheim Ducks
Corey perry, Anaheim Ducks
3rd line:
Brenden Morrow, Dallas Stars
Mike Richards, Philadelphia Flyers
Jordan Staaal, Pittsburgh Penguins
4th line:
Ryan Smyth, Los Angeles Kings
Brad Richards, Dallas Stars
Rene Bourque, Calgary Flames
extra forwards:
Patrick Sharp, Chicago Blackhawks
Shane Doan, Phoenix Coyotes
My Captain would be Crosby, and my two assistant captains would be Niedermayer and Nash.
I were, today, asked to pick the Olympic roster for the Canadian Men's Ice Hockey Team,
here is who would be on my team as of today...
Goaltenders:
1. Marc-Andre Fleury, Pittsburgh Penguins
2. Roberto Luongo, Vancouver Canucks
3. Marty Turco, Dallas Stars
Defencemen:
1st pair:
Jay Bouwmesster, Calgary Flames
Duncan Keith, Chicago Blackhawks
2nd pair:
Chris Pronger, Philadelphia Flyers
Scott Niedermayer, Anaheim Ducks
3rd pair:
Shea Weber, Nashville Predators
Robyn Regehr, Calgary Flames
extra pair:
Tyler Myers, Buffalo Sabres
Stephane Robidas, Dallas Stars
Forwards:
1st line:
Rick Nash, Columbus Blue Jackets
Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins
Jarome Iginla, Calgary Flames
2nd line:
Jeff Carter, Philadelphia Flyers
Ryan Getzlaf, Anaheim Ducks
Corey perry, Anaheim Ducks
3rd line:
Brenden Morrow, Dallas Stars
Mike Richards, Philadelphia Flyers
Jordan Staaal, Pittsburgh Penguins
4th line:
Ryan Smyth, Los Angeles Kings
Brad Richards, Dallas Stars
Rene Bourque, Calgary Flames
extra forwards:
Patrick Sharp, Chicago Blackhawks
Shane Doan, Phoenix Coyotes
My Captain would be Crosby, and my two assistant captains would be Niedermayer and Nash.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Self-Revelation
You know what I was just thinking about today, what actually popped into my head?
I am 38 years old, nearing 39 shortly into the new year...
I am twice divorced...
I live alone, in an apartment, no pets, very few friends, none that I see (I talk to Shauna once in a while electronically, and Shiray is a friend but she is really more "family" in a weird sort fo way).
Yet...here is what came to me...
For the (probably - no, make that "likely") first time in my life, I am happy. I like who I am. I "get" me, and I am okay with who I am on the inside. I feel a sense of love that I carry with me always; God loves me.
Think about that...almost 39 years, gone through many tragedies in my life, lost much, much heartache and pain, and FINALLY (thank You, Lord!) I have learned to be okay with myself.
I am lonely at times, but not overwhelmingly so, because I like myself and my own company. I like who I am, what I am interested in, what I say and what I do - goshdarnnit, I like me! So, in that case, it is okay for me to be lonely. No, not "good" for me to be alone, as I know becasue the Bible tells me so. But, see, I do not have a burning need to be with somebody, because I like myself. I am okay by myself. I'm not alone because I am scared and am hiding...I am alone because God fills me up and makes me realize that I do noty need another person to complete me, God does that (He completes me).
Well, I could blather on forever, but...
I am 38 years old, nearing 39 shortly into the new year...
I am twice divorced...
I live alone, in an apartment, no pets, very few friends, none that I see (I talk to Shauna once in a while electronically, and Shiray is a friend but she is really more "family" in a weird sort fo way).
Yet...here is what came to me...
For the (probably - no, make that "likely") first time in my life, I am happy. I like who I am. I "get" me, and I am okay with who I am on the inside. I feel a sense of love that I carry with me always; God loves me.
Think about that...almost 39 years, gone through many tragedies in my life, lost much, much heartache and pain, and FINALLY (thank You, Lord!) I have learned to be okay with myself.
I am lonely at times, but not overwhelmingly so, because I like myself and my own company. I like who I am, what I am interested in, what I say and what I do - goshdarnnit, I like me! So, in that case, it is okay for me to be lonely. No, not "good" for me to be alone, as I know becasue the Bible tells me so. But, see, I do not have a burning need to be with somebody, because I like myself. I am okay by myself. I'm not alone because I am scared and am hiding...I am alone because God fills me up and makes me realize that I do noty need another person to complete me, God does that (He completes me).
Well, I could blather on forever, but...
Friday, October 23, 2009
"Height"
So, thought I would pop back in here and let y'all know what I have been "up to" ("height"; get it?).
My personal life. No new friends. No new loves. No cat. But...
I am trying to keep busy...
Been blogging regularly over at my video-game blog, where I am continuing writing up my adventures in the land of Neverwinter Nights 2 as they unfold. Obviously, I get more of this done while I am on my weekend than I do while I am working. http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
Haven't written any poems lately, so not much going on there at that blog, although it would be easy enough to type up an older poem and post it, which I just might do soon. http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/
Of course, I pop up here when I have something to say, which is sometimes lots, sometimes not so much. http://dreaming-of-leprechauns.blogspot.com/
My comic book blog, I am trying to be more regular with that now, and some of my online acquaintances from alphaflight.net actually read that blog from time to time, which is nice of them. Finding stuff to say about the things I am passionate about in life. http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/
Other than that, I am keeping an eye on my yearly hockey pool, trying to remain in striking distance of the top so I can reclaim my championship trophy that was so rudely taken from me last year!
Of course, watching as much hockey on TV as I can, cheering on my Penguins and happy that the Oilers are improving finally.
I'm on Facebook a lot less now, because I only have so much time in the day to devote to a lot of things, so I talk less there, but I do check in a few times every day, so feel free to leave me a message there if you desire.
I am also playing the video games Neverwinter Nights 2 and NHL 2004. And listening to music and watching DVDs. And reading comics.
I got to see my ex-wife and daughter last week, that was fun. And I took my parents out for lunch, it was good to see them again.
As far as work goes, the GM at work was let go. Two bigwigs from high up in the company have taken over for now, and are going over everything with a fine-tooth comb. They are looking at inventory, budget numbers,a nd having extnsive meetings with management. How this all affects me and my department, I am not so sure yet. But I truly believe that the change will be a good thing for my workplace as a whole. But only time will tell.
Well, that is it for me. Talk at ya later!
My personal life. No new friends. No new loves. No cat. But...
I am trying to keep busy...
Been blogging regularly over at my video-game blog, where I am continuing writing up my adventures in the land of Neverwinter Nights 2 as they unfold. Obviously, I get more of this done while I am on my weekend than I do while I am working. http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
Haven't written any poems lately, so not much going on there at that blog, although it would be easy enough to type up an older poem and post it, which I just might do soon. http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/
Of course, I pop up here when I have something to say, which is sometimes lots, sometimes not so much. http://dreaming-of-leprechauns.blogspot.com/
My comic book blog, I am trying to be more regular with that now, and some of my online acquaintances from alphaflight.net actually read that blog from time to time, which is nice of them. Finding stuff to say about the things I am passionate about in life. http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/
Other than that, I am keeping an eye on my yearly hockey pool, trying to remain in striking distance of the top so I can reclaim my championship trophy that was so rudely taken from me last year!
Of course, watching as much hockey on TV as I can, cheering on my Penguins and happy that the Oilers are improving finally.
I'm on Facebook a lot less now, because I only have so much time in the day to devote to a lot of things, so I talk less there, but I do check in a few times every day, so feel free to leave me a message there if you desire.
I am also playing the video games Neverwinter Nights 2 and NHL 2004. And listening to music and watching DVDs. And reading comics.
I got to see my ex-wife and daughter last week, that was fun. And I took my parents out for lunch, it was good to see them again.
As far as work goes, the GM at work was let go. Two bigwigs from high up in the company have taken over for now, and are going over everything with a fine-tooth comb. They are looking at inventory, budget numbers,a nd having extnsive meetings with management. How this all affects me and my department, I am not so sure yet. But I truly believe that the change will be a good thing for my workplace as a whole. But only time will tell.
Well, that is it for me. Talk at ya later!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Great Love ?
One of the greatest love stories ever put to film.
Anakin and Padme. Stars Wars Episode II - Attack Of The Clones.
Click them to enlarge them.
Anakin and Padme. Stars Wars Episode II - Attack Of The Clones.
Click them to enlarge them.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Theo Fleury
For the last day or so, i have seen the bits and pieces of interviews with Theoren Fleury, former National Hockey League player.
I have gone to tsn.ca/nhl and clicked on his extended interview, and sat for 9 minutes in silence and awe.
And I have wept.
Lives are so very precious. Not just one or two lives; all lives.
How the Father's heart must ache for those of us in life who have been saddled with things we never asked for and were never meant to have to carry around. Guilt, shame, self-hatred, confusion, pain.
He hit rock-bottom, with a gun in his mouth, before he learned to begin to see himself as worth something, and refused to go on allowing his past to negatively affect his present and his future. He stopped making excuses, he stopped being a victim, he forgave and he began to move on and rebuild his life.
It is a process, a day by day process,and I wish him well. My heart goes out to him, and to all others like him, and I thank Mr. Theoren Fleury for telling his story. Even though I have not been through what he has been through, I still plan on buying his book.
I have gone to tsn.ca/nhl and clicked on his extended interview, and sat for 9 minutes in silence and awe.
And I have wept.
Lives are so very precious. Not just one or two lives; all lives.
How the Father's heart must ache for those of us in life who have been saddled with things we never asked for and were never meant to have to carry around. Guilt, shame, self-hatred, confusion, pain.
He hit rock-bottom, with a gun in his mouth, before he learned to begin to see himself as worth something, and refused to go on allowing his past to negatively affect his present and his future. He stopped making excuses, he stopped being a victim, he forgave and he began to move on and rebuild his life.
It is a process, a day by day process,and I wish him well. My heart goes out to him, and to all others like him, and I thank Mr. Theoren Fleury for telling his story. Even though I have not been through what he has been through, I still plan on buying his book.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
more Gore
An interesting article from Glenn Beck's radio show.
Once again, all about the lies of Al Gore.
Al Gore, for the first time in four years, takes questions from acredited journalists at one of his speeches about global warming and the environment. One journalist dares to question the "facts" about An Inconvenient Truth, and Al Gore lies to his face, mocks him, and then has his micorphone cut off!
If the article is a little long for you and a little too tongue-in-cheek, then just click on the link below, then click on the small video to play that and see exactly what happened between this journalist and Al Gore.
http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/31833/
Once again, all about the lies of Al Gore.
Al Gore, for the first time in four years, takes questions from acredited journalists at one of his speeches about global warming and the environment. One journalist dares to question the "facts" about An Inconvenient Truth, and Al Gore lies to his face, mocks him, and then has his micorphone cut off!
If the article is a little long for you and a little too tongue-in-cheek, then just click on the link below, then click on the small video to play that and see exactly what happened between this journalist and Al Gore.
http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/31833/
Monday, October 12, 2009
Where's The Warming?
The BBC reports today that the year with the highest global temperatures is, of course, 2008...No? 2007? Nope. 2006? Try again. Actually, 1998 was the warmest year on record. Hmmm, how about that - wasn't Miami supposed to be underwater by now? Global temperatures are not rising, but there is one thing that is rapidly increasing: Al Gore's net worth. In 2000, the goofy VP was worth about $2 million. Now he's worth over $100 million and stands to make much more off new 'green' technologies. Just another case of Jack and his magic beans, apparently.
What happened to global warming?
By Paul Hudson
Climate correspondent, BBC News
This headline may come as a bit of a surprise, so too might that fact that the warmest year recorded globally was not in 2008 or 2007, but in 1998.
But it is true. For the last 11 years we have not observed any increase in global temperatures.
And our climate models did not forecast it, even though man-made carbon dioxide, the gas thought to be responsible for warming our planet, has continued to rise.
So what on Earth is going on?
Climate change sceptics, who passionately and consistently argue that man's influence on our climate is overstated, say they saw it coming.
They argue that there are natural cycles, over which we have no control, that dictate how warm the planet is. But what is the evidence for this?
During the last few decades of the 20th Century, our planet did warm quickly.
Sceptics argue that the warming we observed was down to the energy from the Sun increasing. After all 98% of the Earth's warmth comes from the Sun.
But research conducted two years ago, and published by the Royal Society, seemed to rule out solar influences.
The scientists' main approach was simple: to look at solar output and cosmic ray intensity over the last 30-40 years, and compare those trends with the graph for global average surface temperature.
And the results were clear. "Warming in the last 20 to 40 years can't have been caused by solar activity," said Dr Piers Forster from Leeds University, a leading contributor to this year's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).
But one solar scientist Piers Corbyn from Weatheraction, a company specialising in long range weather forecasting, disagrees.
He claims that solar charged particles impact us far more than is currently accepted, so much so he says that they are almost entirely responsible for what happens to global temperatures.
He is so excited by what he has discovered that he plans to tell the international scientific community at a conference in London at the end of the month.
If proved correct, this could revolutionise the whole subject.
Ocean cycles
What is really interesting at the moment is what is happening to our oceans. They are the Earth's great heat stores.
According to research conducted by Professor Don Easterbrook from Western Washington University last November, the oceans and global temperatures are correlated.
The oceans, he says, have a cycle in which they warm and cool cyclically. The most important one is the Pacific decadal oscillation (PDO).
For much of the 1980s and 1990s, it was in a positive cycle, that means warmer than average. And observations have revealed that global temperatures were warm too.
But in the last few years it has been losing its warmth and has recently started to cool down.
These cycles in the past have lasted for nearly 30 years.
So could global temperatures follow? The global cooling from 1945 to 1977 coincided with one of these cold Pacific cycles.
Professor Easterbrook says: "The PDO cool mode has replaced the warm mode in the Pacific Ocean, virtually assuring us of about 30 years of global cooling."
So what does it all mean? Climate change sceptics argue that this is evidence that they have been right all along.
They say there are so many other natural causes for warming and cooling, that even if man is warming the planet, it is a small part compared with nature.
But those scientists who are equally passionate about man's influence on global warming argue that their science is solid.
The UK Met Office's Hadley Centre, responsible for future climate predictions, says it incorporates solar variation and ocean cycles into its climate models, and that they are nothing new.
In fact, the centre says they are just two of the whole host of known factors that influence global temperatures - all of which are accounted for by its models.
In addition, say Met Office scientists, temperatures have never increased in a straight line, and there will always be periods of slower warming, or even temporary cooling.
What is crucial, they say, is the long-term trend in global temperatures. And that, according to the Met office data, is clearly up.
To confuse the issue even further, last month Mojib Latif, a member of the IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) says that we may indeed be in a period of cooling worldwide temperatures that could last another 10-20 years.
Professor Latif is based at the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences at Kiel University in Germany and is one of the world's top climate modellers.
But he makes it clear that he has not become a sceptic; he believes that this cooling will be temporary, before the overwhelming force of man-made global warming reasserts itself.
So what can we expect in the next few years?
Both sides have very different forecasts. The Met Office says that warming is set to resume quickly and strongly.
It predicts that from 2010 to 2015 at least half the years will be hotter than the current hottest year on record (1998).
Sceptics disagree. They insist it is unlikely that temperatures will reach the dizzy heights of 1998 until 2030 at the earliest. It is possible, they say, that because of ocean and solar cycles a period of global cooling is more likely.
One thing is for sure. It seems the debate about what is causing global warming is far from over. Indeed some would say it is hotting up.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8299079.stm
What happened to global warming?
By Paul Hudson
Climate correspondent, BBC News
This headline may come as a bit of a surprise, so too might that fact that the warmest year recorded globally was not in 2008 or 2007, but in 1998.
But it is true. For the last 11 years we have not observed any increase in global temperatures.
And our climate models did not forecast it, even though man-made carbon dioxide, the gas thought to be responsible for warming our planet, has continued to rise.
So what on Earth is going on?
Climate change sceptics, who passionately and consistently argue that man's influence on our climate is overstated, say they saw it coming.
They argue that there are natural cycles, over which we have no control, that dictate how warm the planet is. But what is the evidence for this?
During the last few decades of the 20th Century, our planet did warm quickly.
Sceptics argue that the warming we observed was down to the energy from the Sun increasing. After all 98% of the Earth's warmth comes from the Sun.
But research conducted two years ago, and published by the Royal Society, seemed to rule out solar influences.
The scientists' main approach was simple: to look at solar output and cosmic ray intensity over the last 30-40 years, and compare those trends with the graph for global average surface temperature.
And the results were clear. "Warming in the last 20 to 40 years can't have been caused by solar activity," said Dr Piers Forster from Leeds University, a leading contributor to this year's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).
But one solar scientist Piers Corbyn from Weatheraction, a company specialising in long range weather forecasting, disagrees.
He claims that solar charged particles impact us far more than is currently accepted, so much so he says that they are almost entirely responsible for what happens to global temperatures.
He is so excited by what he has discovered that he plans to tell the international scientific community at a conference in London at the end of the month.
If proved correct, this could revolutionise the whole subject.
Ocean cycles
What is really interesting at the moment is what is happening to our oceans. They are the Earth's great heat stores.
According to research conducted by Professor Don Easterbrook from Western Washington University last November, the oceans and global temperatures are correlated.
The oceans, he says, have a cycle in which they warm and cool cyclically. The most important one is the Pacific decadal oscillation (PDO).
For much of the 1980s and 1990s, it was in a positive cycle, that means warmer than average. And observations have revealed that global temperatures were warm too.
But in the last few years it has been losing its warmth and has recently started to cool down.
These cycles in the past have lasted for nearly 30 years.
So could global temperatures follow? The global cooling from 1945 to 1977 coincided with one of these cold Pacific cycles.
Professor Easterbrook says: "The PDO cool mode has replaced the warm mode in the Pacific Ocean, virtually assuring us of about 30 years of global cooling."
So what does it all mean? Climate change sceptics argue that this is evidence that they have been right all along.
They say there are so many other natural causes for warming and cooling, that even if man is warming the planet, it is a small part compared with nature.
But those scientists who are equally passionate about man's influence on global warming argue that their science is solid.
The UK Met Office's Hadley Centre, responsible for future climate predictions, says it incorporates solar variation and ocean cycles into its climate models, and that they are nothing new.
In fact, the centre says they are just two of the whole host of known factors that influence global temperatures - all of which are accounted for by its models.
In addition, say Met Office scientists, temperatures have never increased in a straight line, and there will always be periods of slower warming, or even temporary cooling.
What is crucial, they say, is the long-term trend in global temperatures. And that, according to the Met office data, is clearly up.
To confuse the issue even further, last month Mojib Latif, a member of the IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) says that we may indeed be in a period of cooling worldwide temperatures that could last another 10-20 years.
Professor Latif is based at the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences at Kiel University in Germany and is one of the world's top climate modellers.
But he makes it clear that he has not become a sceptic; he believes that this cooling will be temporary, before the overwhelming force of man-made global warming reasserts itself.
So what can we expect in the next few years?
Both sides have very different forecasts. The Met Office says that warming is set to resume quickly and strongly.
It predicts that from 2010 to 2015 at least half the years will be hotter than the current hottest year on record (1998).
Sceptics disagree. They insist it is unlikely that temperatures will reach the dizzy heights of 1998 until 2030 at the earliest. It is possible, they say, that because of ocean and solar cycles a period of global cooling is more likely.
One thing is for sure. It seems the debate about what is causing global warming is far from over. Indeed some would say it is hotting up.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8299079.stm
Sunday, October 11, 2009
H T
Happy Thanksgiving!
Being happy does not make it Thanksgiving...but being thankful does have the added benefit of making one happy.
Being happy does not make it Thanksgiving...but being thankful does have the added benefit of making one happy.
Friday, October 9, 2009
updating...updating...updating...
If you have a date with an angel, are you updating?
Huh...makes you wonder, don't it?
Okay. Enuff of that! Makes my head hurt, all that thinking and stuff.
So, sitting here, alone and bored, so I decided I might as well jump with both cyber-feet back into my online persona that I have avoided for the most part for quite some time.
All this is meaning...
That I have updates recent updates (and/or signs of user activity) at
http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/
and
http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
and even at
http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/
so feel free to check them out!
In fact, check them out as often as you like! I plan on being on them, adding more stuff and talking the talk, more than ever!
Hey! It's what I do! I write, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm cute! That's all I have going for me, so might as well use it, right!? Shake it if ya got it, right ladies?!
Hey, I am so serious, that I even have plans to do a little updating over at
http://benevolent-kingdom.blogspot.com/
when I get the time to do so.
See ya on the internet, folks!
Huh...makes you wonder, don't it?
Okay. Enuff of that! Makes my head hurt, all that thinking and stuff.
So, sitting here, alone and bored, so I decided I might as well jump with both cyber-feet back into my online persona that I have avoided for the most part for quite some time.
All this is meaning...
That I have updates recent updates (and/or signs of user activity) at
http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/
and
http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
and even at
http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/
so feel free to check them out!
In fact, check them out as often as you like! I plan on being on them, adding more stuff and talking the talk, more than ever!
Hey! It's what I do! I write, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm cute! That's all I have going for me, so might as well use it, right!? Shake it if ya got it, right ladies?!
Hey, I am so serious, that I even have plans to do a little updating over at
http://benevolent-kingdom.blogspot.com/
when I get the time to do so.
See ya on the internet, folks!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
HB Sig
Happy 60th birthday to actress Sigourney Weaver, one of the first truly heroic female action stars (see the Alien series of films).
Why Is This Important?
...
Hero.
One word, meaning so much.
The dictionary defines the term “hero” in these ways;
- A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.
- A person noted for special achievement in a particular field.
- The principal (usually male) character in a novel, poem, or dramatic presentation.
- A man of exceptional courage, nobility, etc.
- A man who is idealized for having superior qualities in any field.
- A man distinguished by exceptional courage and nobility and strength.
- A person who inspires others through courage, strength, bravery, and self-sacrifice.
- Someone who fights for a cause, and/or cares for and protects persons or property.
- Person of great strength and courage celebrated for bold exploits.
- Principle male character.
- A man or boy admired (by many people) for his brave deeds.
Within the heart of every man, lurks the hidden desire to be a hero.
I truly believe that.
That is why we all seek out and recognize heroes, and emulate them and try to be like them. It is why so many men like sports, ladies, in case you did not know that.
When I was a youngster, my heroes were super. I enjoyed comic book heroes, those larger-than-life men and women who stood tall and bravely fought injustice.
The men and women of Alpha Flight were my heroes. In a medium dominated by American heroes, as a Canadian boy it was a real treat to have a group of heroes who were solely Canadian, who protected this great nation from threats from within and without. These were some of my greatest heroes as an impressionable young man.
Years later, I find that these same heroes have been disrespected, killed off, and coldly put out to pasture, without nary a thought for the youngsters of today who need these unique Canadian superheroes to help them discover their love for their nation and that spark within themselves that could cause them to one day blossom into real-life heroes.
That thought saddens me, and angers me. It makes me wish that I could do something about it. I wish I could bring back the heroes that the youth of today so desperately need.
Last year, I found a way, for maybe the first time in my life, to be a hero myself. I felt like a hero. There was a special young lady, and she needed me; she needed my help. She listened to me, and I both supported her faithfully in her hard times and helped her to realize what she needed in her life. Things were going amazing. I poured my heart and soul into this person and this situation – I expended everything that I had within me, trying to make a lasting difference in the life of this special lady.
As with all stories, this one had an ending, and one that was less than satisfying. Suffice it to say, I was plunged into a black abyss from which only a real live Canadian superhero could have rescued me – but there were none. I had to crawl out of that hole, all by myself.
It hasn’t been easy; it hasn’t been fun. I am still not too sure that I am completely out of there yet. It has been the toughest year of my life. And I really do not know how I feel about a lot of things anymore. My world got turned upside down and inside out. I gave everything, for the right reasons; I was self-sacrificing to a degree I had never even known was possible.
In a few short months, I went from feeling heroic, to wishing I were dead. It was a year that I will never forget; it was the best few months of my life, followed by a year that was the worst I have ever experienced. And, strange as it may sound, I know that given the choice, I would do it all again.
Sometimes, being a hero means letting yourself get hurt.
I wish the people at Marvel Comics realized that. Maybe if they did, they would return Alpha Flight to their rightful place of prominence. Instead of thinking that they won’t make money from publishing it, maybe they could see it through the eyes of those most affected by it back when they were publishing it. Maybe they would then take a short-term loss, in order to bring back to the children the type of heroes that they need to inspire them.
Because now, now I am left without any heroes. This explains why I am searching so desperately to be one, but without any success. I have now experienced, just a little bit, what it feels like to be a hero, what it does within a person; and I want that rush again.
I want to risk it all, for the right reasons. I want to sacrifice, and risk getting hurt. I’ve done it before. And so has Alpha Flight.
It is time we both did it again, I think.
Hero.
One word, meaning so much.
The dictionary defines the term “hero” in these ways;
- A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.
- A person noted for special achievement in a particular field.
- The principal (usually male) character in a novel, poem, or dramatic presentation.
- A man of exceptional courage, nobility, etc.
- A man who is idealized for having superior qualities in any field.
- A man distinguished by exceptional courage and nobility and strength.
- A person who inspires others through courage, strength, bravery, and self-sacrifice.
- Someone who fights for a cause, and/or cares for and protects persons or property.
- Person of great strength and courage celebrated for bold exploits.
- Principle male character.
- A man or boy admired (by many people) for his brave deeds.
Within the heart of every man, lurks the hidden desire to be a hero.
I truly believe that.
That is why we all seek out and recognize heroes, and emulate them and try to be like them. It is why so many men like sports, ladies, in case you did not know that.
When I was a youngster, my heroes were super. I enjoyed comic book heroes, those larger-than-life men and women who stood tall and bravely fought injustice.
The men and women of Alpha Flight were my heroes. In a medium dominated by American heroes, as a Canadian boy it was a real treat to have a group of heroes who were solely Canadian, who protected this great nation from threats from within and without. These were some of my greatest heroes as an impressionable young man.
Years later, I find that these same heroes have been disrespected, killed off, and coldly put out to pasture, without nary a thought for the youngsters of today who need these unique Canadian superheroes to help them discover their love for their nation and that spark within themselves that could cause them to one day blossom into real-life heroes.
That thought saddens me, and angers me. It makes me wish that I could do something about it. I wish I could bring back the heroes that the youth of today so desperately need.
Last year, I found a way, for maybe the first time in my life, to be a hero myself. I felt like a hero. There was a special young lady, and she needed me; she needed my help. She listened to me, and I both supported her faithfully in her hard times and helped her to realize what she needed in her life. Things were going amazing. I poured my heart and soul into this person and this situation – I expended everything that I had within me, trying to make a lasting difference in the life of this special lady.
As with all stories, this one had an ending, and one that was less than satisfying. Suffice it to say, I was plunged into a black abyss from which only a real live Canadian superhero could have rescued me – but there were none. I had to crawl out of that hole, all by myself.
It hasn’t been easy; it hasn’t been fun. I am still not too sure that I am completely out of there yet. It has been the toughest year of my life. And I really do not know how I feel about a lot of things anymore. My world got turned upside down and inside out. I gave everything, for the right reasons; I was self-sacrificing to a degree I had never even known was possible.
In a few short months, I went from feeling heroic, to wishing I were dead. It was a year that I will never forget; it was the best few months of my life, followed by a year that was the worst I have ever experienced. And, strange as it may sound, I know that given the choice, I would do it all again.
Sometimes, being a hero means letting yourself get hurt.
I wish the people at Marvel Comics realized that. Maybe if they did, they would return Alpha Flight to their rightful place of prominence. Instead of thinking that they won’t make money from publishing it, maybe they could see it through the eyes of those most affected by it back when they were publishing it. Maybe they would then take a short-term loss, in order to bring back to the children the type of heroes that they need to inspire them.
Because now, now I am left without any heroes. This explains why I am searching so desperately to be one, but without any success. I have now experienced, just a little bit, what it feels like to be a hero, what it does within a person; and I want that rush again.
I want to risk it all, for the right reasons. I want to sacrifice, and risk getting hurt. I’ve done it before. And so has Alpha Flight.
It is time we both did it again, I think.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Knot Thinking
Not too many people expect that a heavy metal band will (can, should, would, does) write songs that have deep personal meanings behind them.
They'd be wrong.
Megadeth is one such band. Yes, I said Megadeth. Like their music or not, the lyrics written by frontman and founder Dave Mustaine can be quite amazing, from his songs dealing with his years of drug abuse (he actually literally died two or three times during overdoses earlier in his life and had to have his heart restarted by paramedics), to songs dealing with his family break-up, to his life as a young teen living on the streets on his own, and finally to his conversion to Christianity and his strong beliefs in the days of wrath coming under the rule of the anti-christ, Dave Mustaine is a man of strong beliefs and convictions who very much feels things deeply and passionately.
I present here one such song, from their 1994 album entitled Youthanasia. This song, to me at this time, sings out hard about the frustrations and questions that I, and so many others that I know as well, seem to have about life. Mr Mustaine, you speak for many of us, and I thank you.
“I Thought I Knew It All” by Megadeth
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why things go like they do
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why some things just fall through
We don’t always see them
For what they really are
But I know there’s a reason
Just can’t see it from this far
Maybe I don’t like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why things don’t go my way
Somewhere there’s a reason
That I cannot explain
Just like the change of season
Just may not be my turn
But I know there’s a reason
The lesson’s mine to learn
Maybe I don’t like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Or, as I see it: "I know there’s a Reason, Just can’t see it from this far", and "I know that somewhere, Someone hears my voice"
God is out there. He holds the answers. He has not forgotten, nor has He failed.
Stay strong, people, and trust God, for His goodness endures forever.
They'd be wrong.
Megadeth is one such band. Yes, I said Megadeth. Like their music or not, the lyrics written by frontman and founder Dave Mustaine can be quite amazing, from his songs dealing with his years of drug abuse (he actually literally died two or three times during overdoses earlier in his life and had to have his heart restarted by paramedics), to songs dealing with his family break-up, to his life as a young teen living on the streets on his own, and finally to his conversion to Christianity and his strong beliefs in the days of wrath coming under the rule of the anti-christ, Dave Mustaine is a man of strong beliefs and convictions who very much feels things deeply and passionately.
I present here one such song, from their 1994 album entitled Youthanasia. This song, to me at this time, sings out hard about the frustrations and questions that I, and so many others that I know as well, seem to have about life. Mr Mustaine, you speak for many of us, and I thank you.
“I Thought I Knew It All” by Megadeth
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why things go like they do
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why some things just fall through
We don’t always see them
For what they really are
But I know there’s a reason
Just can’t see it from this far
Maybe I don’t like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why things don’t go my way
Somewhere there’s a reason
That I cannot explain
Just like the change of season
Just may not be my turn
But I know there’s a reason
The lesson’s mine to learn
Maybe I don’t like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Or, as I see it: "I know there’s a Reason, Just can’t see it from this far", and "I know that somewhere, Someone hears my voice"
God is out there. He holds the answers. He has not forgotten, nor has He failed.
Stay strong, people, and trust God, for His goodness endures forever.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
123-lmnop
(Couldn't think of a title for this post...)
I was just thinking. And I think that the greatest prayer that somebody could pray for another person, is this; "Lord, let them not be satisfied with anything that isn't You." Can you even begin to imagine how praying a prayer like that over the ones you love could absolutely change their lives? Does any prayer say "I love you and I care about you" more than that one?
Hey, I was just thinking, as i was driving home. Driving, singing worship songs and being touched by God; out of nowhere, that thought pops into my head. Perhaps this is a prayer that I am supposed to pray over others? Perhaps I should start praying it; perhaps I might even put myself into that list of people to pray that over. "Lord, do not let me be satisfied with anything in this life that is not You. Draw me to You in love, fill me and consume me until all that matters to me is You."
Yes, i was out driving at this time of night. I popped by work just after midnight, after making a trip thru the Timmy's drive-thru for my first Timmy's coffee since last Saturday ("withdrawals! withdrawals!"). I sat and gabbed with the three people on-shift for a while. Good times, nice to have somebody to talk to after being completely alone for the last 4 days. Then I left work and went to Denny's for a quick meal. No matter what time you eat it, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Then back home, where i am now blogging on my computer (go figure...)!
Okay, that is it for now. Really enjoyed watching Season 4 of Lost on DVD the other day. An Awesome show, best writing I have ever seen in a tv drama series. Love it. I watched 13 hour-long episodes in 36 hours. Then I watched the DVD Extras. It was all good.
Been playing some computer hockey games (NHL 2004), plus I mad eup my list for the annual Kingsway Foursquare Church hockey pool, which i then emailed to Dairn in Burnaby. The draft for the pool is on Saturday. I am looking to reclaim my title this year. Two years ago I won it all, last year I finished second-last I think...
NHL hockey starts Thursday, I am so excited. I do not go back to work until Sunday, so I have lots of time to watch a bunch of games before then.
Also, I think Friday I am taking mom and dad out for lunch and visiting. I may be helping my first wife with her taxes after that, depending how she is feeling.
That is all that I can think of for now. Ta-ta, all!
lyrics to Consuming Fire by Tim Hughes
There must be more than this
Oh breath of God come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for You
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to Your praise
Lord let Your glory fall
Lord let Your glory fall
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us
Can you possibly imagine, even for a millisecond, what it would be like to have God leave you abandoned to His praise? I can't. But I'd like to experience that. Wouldn't you?
I was just thinking. And I think that the greatest prayer that somebody could pray for another person, is this; "Lord, let them not be satisfied with anything that isn't You." Can you even begin to imagine how praying a prayer like that over the ones you love could absolutely change their lives? Does any prayer say "I love you and I care about you" more than that one?
Hey, I was just thinking, as i was driving home. Driving, singing worship songs and being touched by God; out of nowhere, that thought pops into my head. Perhaps this is a prayer that I am supposed to pray over others? Perhaps I should start praying it; perhaps I might even put myself into that list of people to pray that over. "Lord, do not let me be satisfied with anything in this life that is not You. Draw me to You in love, fill me and consume me until all that matters to me is You."
Yes, i was out driving at this time of night. I popped by work just after midnight, after making a trip thru the Timmy's drive-thru for my first Timmy's coffee since last Saturday ("withdrawals! withdrawals!"). I sat and gabbed with the three people on-shift for a while. Good times, nice to have somebody to talk to after being completely alone for the last 4 days. Then I left work and went to Denny's for a quick meal. No matter what time you eat it, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Then back home, where i am now blogging on my computer (go figure...)!
Okay, that is it for now. Really enjoyed watching Season 4 of Lost on DVD the other day. An Awesome show, best writing I have ever seen in a tv drama series. Love it. I watched 13 hour-long episodes in 36 hours. Then I watched the DVD Extras. It was all good.
Been playing some computer hockey games (NHL 2004), plus I mad eup my list for the annual Kingsway Foursquare Church hockey pool, which i then emailed to Dairn in Burnaby. The draft for the pool is on Saturday. I am looking to reclaim my title this year. Two years ago I won it all, last year I finished second-last I think...
NHL hockey starts Thursday, I am so excited. I do not go back to work until Sunday, so I have lots of time to watch a bunch of games before then.
Also, I think Friday I am taking mom and dad out for lunch and visiting. I may be helping my first wife with her taxes after that, depending how she is feeling.
That is all that I can think of for now. Ta-ta, all!
lyrics to Consuming Fire by Tim Hughes
There must be more than this
Oh breath of God come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for You
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to Your praise
Lord let Your glory fall
Lord let Your glory fall
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us
Can you possibly imagine, even for a millisecond, what it would be like to have God leave you abandoned to His praise? I can't. But I'd like to experience that. Wouldn't you?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
The Beauty Of Silence
So, what has been going on in my world, in my life? Those are the questions you come here seeking answers for, after all.
Well, things are fairly quiet right now. I am healing, moving on. My heart is in a better place than it has been…in a long time, maybe ever. I have a lot of peace, and I am working on having trust and faith; it is a process. I see myself as getting more and more whole, and that is a goal. It is a lifelong goal. Getting whole, being whole, staying whole.
Question – have you ever noticed that, especially when things fall apart in life, we want answers from God? We struggle so hard to understand things and to change things. We go to God, and we ask Him (sometimes even demand Him) to explain to us why things went the way that they did; God, why did You do this, why did You allow this, what is the purpose in this, are You just punishing me, did I do something wrong, tell me what to do – right now – to make things right, how could a good God allow me to suffer, why cannot things ever go right in my life, will I always be a screw-up, should I just walk away from You since I cannot make anything good of my life with You, can I even trust You God?
On and on, we question, we rail, we demand, we plead, we cry. Ever notice, the one thing we are not good at, is listening? In particular, we as a species seem to be very bad at taking silence as an answer. Did you know that silence is a legitimate answer from God to the questions and worries that You have? Sometimes, I believe that God uses silence to teach us something – but because we hate the silence, we do not learn the lesson in it.
Mainly, I think the thing God uses silence to teach us, is this…
He has the answers, not us. We do not need the answers, we just need Him. Sometimes He gives the answers to us, oftentimes not. He knows what is best for us. That is what makes Him the Great Creator, and us His creation. We all tend to think that we would never be like Job, complaining to God about our lot in life. Have you actually read the book of Job lately? For so long, Job did the right thing – He remained silent, while those around Him cast blame. He endured for a long time, but in the end, Job questioned God. Have you ever read God’s response to Job?
Open up that Bible of yours, and turn with me to Job chapter 38, verse 1. Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind: “Who is this that questions My wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.”
Oh man. Job is in a heap of trouble, folks. Do you get the feeling that God’s righteous anger has been kindled against Job? Yup, me too. That “you must answer them” part, that is NOT a good sign for old Job.
If you want to know how bad it is, how much crap Job is in for, consider that God’s little talk with Job continues for another 71 verses.
After that, Job gives a response. Basically, Job says, “Oops, my bad. I will shut up now, Lord. I’ve said too much, You’re pissed, and I am so very sorry.”
After that, all is good, right? Job admits he is wrong, and hey, if he is still angry at God deep down inside, then that is okay, right, because after all he went through a hell of a lot and so it is okay to be a bit grumpy still, right? Uh, no, not right at all. God is not finished with Job yet. The Lord follows up His original 73 verse speech with another 53 verses, declaring how He is God and Job is not. Anybody else get the feeling that it is a really, really, really bad idea to demand answers of God for the way your life has gone, to accuse Him, to even suggest that He is doing you an injustice of some sort?
After this, Job becomes completely penitent. He humbles himself, which he had not done before. He now realizes that God is God, and he is not. Job has no right to question God, and he now understands that thoroughly. He had heard of Who God is beforehand, but now God has shown Himself to Job through what He told him about Himself, and now Job understand his place in life. It is all about God, and not about Job. Nor is it about any of us; it is about what God is doing in us and through us – and that makes it all about God, folks.
Sometimes, I think it is a blessing when God answers us with silence, don’t you? I mean, He could very easily answer us in the same way that He answered Job. Would you like that sort of an intense spotlight to be shone on you by God? Would you like for God to put you in your place? In His silence, God gives us the time and space to figure out for ourselves Who God is, and who we are, and what that relationship should look like. And, to realize that ours is not to question why. Ultimately, the real truth here is, to ask why is to be found lacking in faith.
In the middle of Job chapter 42, God says that He is angry with Job’s friends. They tried to explain and understand why Job had fallen into calamity. But this whole episode was never about Job; it was never about who Job was, or what he had, or what he lost. Instead, this was all about God; Who He is, and how we should relate to Him. That was what He wanted taught. And although Job did finally question God, and got severely rebuked for it, still God forgave him, and then His anger was transferred to those who, well-meaning though they might have been, led Job down the wrong path (away from the truths God was trying to place within him).
It isn’t always about what is happening to us, so much as it is about what God is teaching us through it. And that is why, even in the worst of times, we can rely on our God, because He always has our greatest good in mind.
So, in these times of quiet and silence in my life, I choose to thank God for what I have, and for what He is teaching me, and mostly for Who He is. I know that I am safely in His hands, right where I belong. I will get my eyes off of circumstances and surroundings, and put my eyes instead on what is real; I will look to Jesus, and worship Him.
And that is where my life is at.
Well, things are fairly quiet right now. I am healing, moving on. My heart is in a better place than it has been…in a long time, maybe ever. I have a lot of peace, and I am working on having trust and faith; it is a process. I see myself as getting more and more whole, and that is a goal. It is a lifelong goal. Getting whole, being whole, staying whole.
Question – have you ever noticed that, especially when things fall apart in life, we want answers from God? We struggle so hard to understand things and to change things. We go to God, and we ask Him (sometimes even demand Him) to explain to us why things went the way that they did; God, why did You do this, why did You allow this, what is the purpose in this, are You just punishing me, did I do something wrong, tell me what to do – right now – to make things right, how could a good God allow me to suffer, why cannot things ever go right in my life, will I always be a screw-up, should I just walk away from You since I cannot make anything good of my life with You, can I even trust You God?
On and on, we question, we rail, we demand, we plead, we cry. Ever notice, the one thing we are not good at, is listening? In particular, we as a species seem to be very bad at taking silence as an answer. Did you know that silence is a legitimate answer from God to the questions and worries that You have? Sometimes, I believe that God uses silence to teach us something – but because we hate the silence, we do not learn the lesson in it.
Mainly, I think the thing God uses silence to teach us, is this…
He has the answers, not us. We do not need the answers, we just need Him. Sometimes He gives the answers to us, oftentimes not. He knows what is best for us. That is what makes Him the Great Creator, and us His creation. We all tend to think that we would never be like Job, complaining to God about our lot in life. Have you actually read the book of Job lately? For so long, Job did the right thing – He remained silent, while those around Him cast blame. He endured for a long time, but in the end, Job questioned God. Have you ever read God’s response to Job?
Open up that Bible of yours, and turn with me to Job chapter 38, verse 1. Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind: “Who is this that questions My wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.”
Oh man. Job is in a heap of trouble, folks. Do you get the feeling that God’s righteous anger has been kindled against Job? Yup, me too. That “you must answer them” part, that is NOT a good sign for old Job.
If you want to know how bad it is, how much crap Job is in for, consider that God’s little talk with Job continues for another 71 verses.
After that, Job gives a response. Basically, Job says, “Oops, my bad. I will shut up now, Lord. I’ve said too much, You’re pissed, and I am so very sorry.”
After that, all is good, right? Job admits he is wrong, and hey, if he is still angry at God deep down inside, then that is okay, right, because after all he went through a hell of a lot and so it is okay to be a bit grumpy still, right? Uh, no, not right at all. God is not finished with Job yet. The Lord follows up His original 73 verse speech with another 53 verses, declaring how He is God and Job is not. Anybody else get the feeling that it is a really, really, really bad idea to demand answers of God for the way your life has gone, to accuse Him, to even suggest that He is doing you an injustice of some sort?
After this, Job becomes completely penitent. He humbles himself, which he had not done before. He now realizes that God is God, and he is not. Job has no right to question God, and he now understands that thoroughly. He had heard of Who God is beforehand, but now God has shown Himself to Job through what He told him about Himself, and now Job understand his place in life. It is all about God, and not about Job. Nor is it about any of us; it is about what God is doing in us and through us – and that makes it all about God, folks.
Sometimes, I think it is a blessing when God answers us with silence, don’t you? I mean, He could very easily answer us in the same way that He answered Job. Would you like that sort of an intense spotlight to be shone on you by God? Would you like for God to put you in your place? In His silence, God gives us the time and space to figure out for ourselves Who God is, and who we are, and what that relationship should look like. And, to realize that ours is not to question why. Ultimately, the real truth here is, to ask why is to be found lacking in faith.
In the middle of Job chapter 42, God says that He is angry with Job’s friends. They tried to explain and understand why Job had fallen into calamity. But this whole episode was never about Job; it was never about who Job was, or what he had, or what he lost. Instead, this was all about God; Who He is, and how we should relate to Him. That was what He wanted taught. And although Job did finally question God, and got severely rebuked for it, still God forgave him, and then His anger was transferred to those who, well-meaning though they might have been, led Job down the wrong path (away from the truths God was trying to place within him).
It isn’t always about what is happening to us, so much as it is about what God is teaching us through it. And that is why, even in the worst of times, we can rely on our God, because He always has our greatest good in mind.
So, in these times of quiet and silence in my life, I choose to thank God for what I have, and for what He is teaching me, and mostly for Who He is. I know that I am safely in His hands, right where I belong. I will get my eyes off of circumstances and surroundings, and put my eyes instead on what is real; I will look to Jesus, and worship Him.
And that is where my life is at.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Stuck in a holding pattern. Needing direction. Needing a helping hand. Needing somebody who cares. Is that so wrong?
Stuck, stuck in a holding pattern, going round and round...
Round And Round by Threshold
Can't rely on reality
Things ain't what they appear to be
When you visit please don't forget
The fragile mess of this nervous wreck
Who of you feels he's been here before?
Now I've been here twelve times or more
Life's becoming a bit of a bore
If the ceiling speaks please don't complain
He might just make me go back, round again
Who of you feels he's been here before?
Round and round and round again
The first million years
They were the worst
The second million years
They were the worst as well
Please don't ask 'cause I can't explain
Why I keep coming back again
Maybe it's 'cause when I roll the dice
I never get to throw afterlife
Who of you feels he's been here before?
Round and round and round
Stuck, stuck in a holding pattern, going round and round...
Round And Round by Threshold
Can't rely on reality
Things ain't what they appear to be
When you visit please don't forget
The fragile mess of this nervous wreck
Who of you feels he's been here before?
Now I've been here twelve times or more
Life's becoming a bit of a bore
If the ceiling speaks please don't complain
He might just make me go back, round again
Who of you feels he's been here before?
Round and round and round again
The first million years
They were the worst
The second million years
They were the worst as well
Please don't ask 'cause I can't explain
Why I keep coming back again
Maybe it's 'cause when I roll the dice
I never get to throw afterlife
Who of you feels he's been here before?
Round and round and round
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Echoes
Lyrics to the song "Echoes Of Life" by Threshold
Everything's gone out of control silently sliding away
Destiny's end is calling again the future was yesterday
Visions of light fade in my eyes energy falls from my hands
Faint in the night echoes of life drown in the day's demands
How did I get so stranded
Here I am built a house on the sand
And I know I've been slipping away too fast
Slipping away
I caught a glimmer of what could be
Another future a possibility
But just a blink and it was gone
And I was staring back at me
Forever dreaming of what to do
Never achieving I never see it through
Don't want to live like yesterday
This time my dreams are coming true
The clouds are rolling by there's purpose in the sky
I'm rooted to the ground procrastinating
The sun's about to set and nothing's happened yet
Don't want to close my eyes I'm tired of waiting
Lost in the safety of modern times
Nobody tells you to read between the lines
So you could stumble in the dark
Or you could open up your eyes
The clouds are rolling by there's purpose in the sky
I'm rooted to the ground procrastinating
The sun's about to set and nothing's happened yet
Don't want to close my eyes I'm tired of waiting
I'm tired of waiting
I caught a glimmer of what could be
Another future a new reality
I'm going to chase it through the night
I'm going to bring it back to me
The clouds are rolling by there's purpose in the sky
I'm rooted to the ground procrastinating
The sun's about to set and nothing's happened yet
Don't want to close my eyes I'm tired of waiting
I'm tired of waiting
Here I am built a house on the sand
And I know I've been slipping away too fast
Slipping away
Visions of light fade in my eyes energy falls from my hands
Faint in the night echoes of life drown in the day's demands
How can I stop them from slipping away
Everything's gone out of control silently sliding away
Destiny's end is calling again the future was yesterday
Visions of light fade in my eyes energy falls from my hands
Faint in the night echoes of life drown in the day's demands
How did I get so stranded
Here I am built a house on the sand
And I know I've been slipping away too fast
Slipping away
I caught a glimmer of what could be
Another future a possibility
But just a blink and it was gone
And I was staring back at me
Forever dreaming of what to do
Never achieving I never see it through
Don't want to live like yesterday
This time my dreams are coming true
The clouds are rolling by there's purpose in the sky
I'm rooted to the ground procrastinating
The sun's about to set and nothing's happened yet
Don't want to close my eyes I'm tired of waiting
Lost in the safety of modern times
Nobody tells you to read between the lines
So you could stumble in the dark
Or you could open up your eyes
The clouds are rolling by there's purpose in the sky
I'm rooted to the ground procrastinating
The sun's about to set and nothing's happened yet
Don't want to close my eyes I'm tired of waiting
I'm tired of waiting
I caught a glimmer of what could be
Another future a new reality
I'm going to chase it through the night
I'm going to bring it back to me
The clouds are rolling by there's purpose in the sky
I'm rooted to the ground procrastinating
The sun's about to set and nothing's happened yet
Don't want to close my eyes I'm tired of waiting
I'm tired of waiting
Here I am built a house on the sand
And I know I've been slipping away too fast
Slipping away
Visions of light fade in my eyes energy falls from my hands
Faint in the night echoes of life drown in the day's demands
How can I stop them from slipping away
Sunday, September 20, 2009
inspired
Lord, I am thankful for when You have walked me through difficult times in my life; where You carried me, encouraged me, coaxed me, walked with me, and beat a path for me.
I am thankful for every tear that You have collected, and every laugh that You have inspired.
Thank You. You are my life, and my life is Yours.
I am thankful for every tear that You have collected, and every laugh that You have inspired.
Thank You. You are my life, and my life is Yours.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
quoting me
A quote, by me. My words, used here, for the first time. This line is sure ot stand the test of time, and make me lots of money;
"It may be somewhat acceptable to beat a dead horse, but giving it mouth-to-mouth is definitely out."
- Dredd Sweet
"It may be somewhat acceptable to beat a dead horse, but giving it mouth-to-mouth is definitely out."
- Dredd Sweet
Monday, September 7, 2009
24
Is there anyone who is able to read Genesis chapter 24, and not see the amazing beauty in it?
Possibly the greatest love story ever told.
Every word is blinding with romantic brilliance, showing the favour and blessing of God to man (and woman).
Possibly the greatest love story ever told.
Every word is blinding with romantic brilliance, showing the favour and blessing of God to man (and woman).
nuts
My daily devotional got me instantly contemplative, and God spoke to me.
September 7
We Need a Great Savior
[Peter] shouted, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught Peter.
Matthew 14:30-31 (NCV)
We come to Christ in an hour of deep need. We abandon the boat of good works. . . .We realize, like Peter, that spanning the gap between us and Jesus is a feat too great for our feet. So we beg for help. Hear his voice. And step out in fear, hoping that our little faith will be enough. . . .
Faith is a desperate dive out of the sinking boat of human effort and a prayer that God will be there to pull us out of the water. Paul wrote about this kind of faith . . . :
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast" (Eph. 2:8-9 NIV).
I get it, Lord.
I thought I was having faith, and I was; but faith in WHAT? When I examine, I know the answer - faith in myself. I had faith that You would enable me to be able to accomplish things that benefitted myself and glorified myself.
I was wrong. I am so sorry, Lord.
Here then is the answer I have been searching so long now for; right here, laid out in front of me. This is why things did not work out as I thought they would.
I had faith; faith that I could cause her to love me, faith that my friendship would enable me to lead her to Christ, faith that I was the only one who could accomplish these things in her.
I had faith in me.
In so doing, I became faithless. I became all about me, all about my wants, and making (trying to make) God line up with my desires.
Meanwhile, God was all about using these experiences to make me need Him more, to draw me closer to Him, and to change me within.
As I have been learning lately, change hurts. Change happens in great upheaval and stress in life. God uses these things, even allows them, to change us within.
Now, I have my answer. I have no more reason to question my past, and now I need to allow God to make the changes in me (as He has been slowly doing) that allow me to move on in Him. My past is behind me, and my future is in His eyes and His hands. All I need to do is look to Him.
Truly, it is all about Jesus.
Might be a good time to admit, I went to church this Sunday, for the first time in about a year. It was "alright". But it wasn't about me, so much as it was about being obedient and cultivating good habits in my life.
God is love. So, let Your love rain down upon my head, Lord.
September 7
We Need a Great Savior
[Peter] shouted, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught Peter.
Matthew 14:30-31 (NCV)
We come to Christ in an hour of deep need. We abandon the boat of good works. . . .We realize, like Peter, that spanning the gap between us and Jesus is a feat too great for our feet. So we beg for help. Hear his voice. And step out in fear, hoping that our little faith will be enough. . . .
Faith is a desperate dive out of the sinking boat of human effort and a prayer that God will be there to pull us out of the water. Paul wrote about this kind of faith . . . :
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast" (Eph. 2:8-9 NIV).
I get it, Lord.
I thought I was having faith, and I was; but faith in WHAT? When I examine, I know the answer - faith in myself. I had faith that You would enable me to be able to accomplish things that benefitted myself and glorified myself.
I was wrong. I am so sorry, Lord.
Here then is the answer I have been searching so long now for; right here, laid out in front of me. This is why things did not work out as I thought they would.
I had faith; faith that I could cause her to love me, faith that my friendship would enable me to lead her to Christ, faith that I was the only one who could accomplish these things in her.
I had faith in me.
In so doing, I became faithless. I became all about me, all about my wants, and making (trying to make) God line up with my desires.
Meanwhile, God was all about using these experiences to make me need Him more, to draw me closer to Him, and to change me within.
As I have been learning lately, change hurts. Change happens in great upheaval and stress in life. God uses these things, even allows them, to change us within.
Now, I have my answer. I have no more reason to question my past, and now I need to allow God to make the changes in me (as He has been slowly doing) that allow me to move on in Him. My past is behind me, and my future is in His eyes and His hands. All I need to do is look to Him.
Truly, it is all about Jesus.
Might be a good time to admit, I went to church this Sunday, for the first time in about a year. It was "alright". But it wasn't about me, so much as it was about being obedient and cultivating good habits in my life.
God is love. So, let Your love rain down upon my head, Lord.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
please watch
Please click on the below link and watch this short video. It is very important that we support God's work in these perilous times. Thank you.
www.youtube.com/cseministry
God bless this ministry. And He will.
www.youtube.com/cseministry
God bless this ministry. And He will.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
guiltee
I am guilty as charged.
I find myself guilty of something, something that I am only recently realizing...
Even though the Bible says not to compare, and I agree with that wholeheartedly, too many times I find myself comparing my own life to my father's life. Perhaps because I desperately want to be like him?
And, too often, I feel discouraged, because I hear about all the stories of what my dad accomplished in his life, all the things God did in and through him, and I feel like I will never ever be like that, like I am some sort of abysmal failure. Here I am, a grown man, and I am accomplishing so very little in my life or the lives of those around me!
But lately, I have realized something, something significant...
I look at my dad, and I am proud of him; I see a man of God, a man after God's own heart. He has always been this to me - as far back as I can remember my one over-riding thought about my Dad is that he was and is a Godly man.
Nothing wrong with that, that is for sure!
But to compare myself to him, is so very unfair to me. Also, it is unfair to God. Not only am I a completely different type of person than my father is, but we lead different lives in different times in different ways. And, also, and here is what I found REALLY significant;
Yes, my Dad to me has always been a Godly man. As long as I have known him. But, I may be an adult, but I am only 38 years old. My Dad was very nearly 48 years old, when I was born!
So...even if I started noticing that my Dad was a Godly man by the time I was ten years old, for instance, that would mean that he was 58 at the time. A full twenty years older than I am now!
God just needs more time with me! LOL. He isn't finished yet...He is just getting started!
One day, I will have my own stories to tell of how God touched me and my life. Heck, I have got a bushel full of those already!
I spend too much time comparing a seed to a full-grown tree, and wondering why I do not have the same branches...
Lord, forgive me. Keep helping me grow, even when it hurts me to. Amen.
Billy Talent's song "Tears Into Wine"
(highlighted portions by me)
The gun is loaded when the class is full
Down the hatch and the trigger's pulled
Off the wake and they're back onto the stool
I know that when I stare into your eyes
I can see all the years of lies
Ghosts and demons you never exorcised
All the friends that I've ever known
Are the street lamps I follow home
And I'm in the crowd but I'm all alone
Oh Lord, I just can't
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
His fate was written on a neon sign
A DUI never changed his mind
He got hooked like a fish caught on a line
You never gave yourself a chance to shine
Your destination's a chalk outline
And when you get to the gates you'll be denied
All the friends that I've ever known
Are the street lamps I follow home
And I'm in the crowd but I'm all alone
Oh Lord, I just can't
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
All the friends that I've ever known
Are the street lamps I follow home
The tide keeps pulling me down
I try to reach higher ground
I'll never give up and drown
Even though I just can't
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
Tears into wine, tears into wine
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
'Til next time, faithful readers...
Slainte!
"One idea or direction from God can forever change the course of your life. God can do anything if you will simply stop limiting Him in your thinking."
"One idea...or direction...from God...can...forever...change...the course...of your life."
I find myself guilty of something, something that I am only recently realizing...
Even though the Bible says not to compare, and I agree with that wholeheartedly, too many times I find myself comparing my own life to my father's life. Perhaps because I desperately want to be like him?
And, too often, I feel discouraged, because I hear about all the stories of what my dad accomplished in his life, all the things God did in and through him, and I feel like I will never ever be like that, like I am some sort of abysmal failure. Here I am, a grown man, and I am accomplishing so very little in my life or the lives of those around me!
But lately, I have realized something, something significant...
I look at my dad, and I am proud of him; I see a man of God, a man after God's own heart. He has always been this to me - as far back as I can remember my one over-riding thought about my Dad is that he was and is a Godly man.
Nothing wrong with that, that is for sure!
But to compare myself to him, is so very unfair to me. Also, it is unfair to God. Not only am I a completely different type of person than my father is, but we lead different lives in different times in different ways. And, also, and here is what I found REALLY significant;
Yes, my Dad to me has always been a Godly man. As long as I have known him. But, I may be an adult, but I am only 38 years old. My Dad was very nearly 48 years old, when I was born!
So...even if I started noticing that my Dad was a Godly man by the time I was ten years old, for instance, that would mean that he was 58 at the time. A full twenty years older than I am now!
God just needs more time with me! LOL. He isn't finished yet...He is just getting started!
One day, I will have my own stories to tell of how God touched me and my life. Heck, I have got a bushel full of those already!
I spend too much time comparing a seed to a full-grown tree, and wondering why I do not have the same branches...
Lord, forgive me. Keep helping me grow, even when it hurts me to. Amen.
Billy Talent's song "Tears Into Wine"
(highlighted portions by me)
The gun is loaded when the class is full
Down the hatch and the trigger's pulled
Off the wake and they're back onto the stool
I know that when I stare into your eyes
I can see all the years of lies
Ghosts and demons you never exorcised
All the friends that I've ever known
Are the street lamps I follow home
And I'm in the crowd but I'm all alone
Oh Lord, I just can't
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
His fate was written on a neon sign
A DUI never changed his mind
He got hooked like a fish caught on a line
You never gave yourself a chance to shine
Your destination's a chalk outline
And when you get to the gates you'll be denied
All the friends that I've ever known
Are the street lamps I follow home
And I'm in the crowd but I'm all alone
Oh Lord, I just can't
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
All the friends that I've ever known
Are the street lamps I follow home
The tide keeps pulling me down
I try to reach higher ground
I'll never give up and drown
Even though I just can't
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
Tear the moon from the stars tonight
Twist my arm like a knife tonight
And if you wanna leave, that's alright
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
Tears into wine, tears into wine
Well, I'll just turn these tears into wine
'Til next time, faithful readers...
Slainte!
"One idea or direction from God can forever change the course of your life. God can do anything if you will simply stop limiting Him in your thinking."
"One idea...or direction...from God...can...forever...change...the course...of your life."
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
part 2
Two messages from my Hope For Today Bible…
New Names:
“I will return to you about this time next year, and your wife, Sarah, will have a son!”
(Genesis 18:10)
When God told Abraham and Sarah that they were going to have a child, they were both well beyond the childbearing years. No wonder Sarah laughed. She must have said, “Abraham, what are you talking about? Me? Have a child? I’m an old woman. I don’t think so.”
God had to change the image they had of themselves before they could ever have that child. How did God do that? He changed their names; He changed the words they were hearing. He changed Sarai to Sarah, which means “princess”. He changed Abram to Abraham, which means “father of many nations”. Think about it. Before Abraham had a single child, God called him, by faith, the father of many nations. Every time somebody said, “Hey, Abraham. How you doing?” they were saying, “Hello, father of many nations.” He heard that so often, it began to sink down inside him.
Sarah was an older woman who had never had any children. She probably didn’t feel much like a princess, but every time somebody said, “Hello, Sarah,” they were saying, “Hello, princess.” Over time, that changed her self-image. She no longer saw herself as an older, barren woman; she began to see herself as a princess. Eventually, she gave birth to a child whom she named Isaac (there’s a story behind that name, too), as God had instructed.
Perhaps God has whispered something to your heart that seems totally impossible. It may seem impossible for you to ever be well again, or impossible for you to get out of debt, to get married, to lose weight, to start that new business. In the natural, physical realm, all the odds seem to be against you; you don’t see how it could happen. But if you’re going to see those dreams come to pass, you have to get your mouth moving in the right direction and use your words to help you develop a new image on the inside.
No matter how impossible something looks, no matter how you feel, start boldly declaring, “I am strong in the Lord. I can do all things through Christ. I am well able to fulfill my destiny.” Call in what God has promised you. There’s a song that says, “Let the weak say I am strong.” You may not feel well today, but don’t go around saying, “I don’t think I’m ever going to get over this sickness.” Instead, start boldly declaring, “God is restoring health to me. I am getting better every day in ever way.”
Or maybe your financial situation doesn’t look good. Stars declaring, “I am blessed. I am prosperous. I’m the head and not the tail. I will lend and not borrow.”
Don’t merely use your words to describe your situation; use your words to change your situation.
God Without Limits:
Then the Lord said to Abraham…”Is anything too hard for the Lord?”
(Genesis 18:13-14)
Abraham and Sarah were stuck in the natural – they couldn’t see beyond what they couldn’t do. So they had a hard time imagining what God could do!
We often have the same problem when we think that our situation is beyond God’s control or power. But God is not limited by your education or lack of it. He’s not limited by what you have or what you don’t have. The Bible declares “with God all things are possible.”
Your job, your creativity, and your efforts are not your source. God is your source, and His creativity and resources are unlimited! One idea or direction from God can forever change the course of your life. God can do anything if you will simply stop limiting Him in your thinking.
New Names:
“I will return to you about this time next year, and your wife, Sarah, will have a son!”
(Genesis 18:10)
When God told Abraham and Sarah that they were going to have a child, they were both well beyond the childbearing years. No wonder Sarah laughed. She must have said, “Abraham, what are you talking about? Me? Have a child? I’m an old woman. I don’t think so.”
God had to change the image they had of themselves before they could ever have that child. How did God do that? He changed their names; He changed the words they were hearing. He changed Sarai to Sarah, which means “princess”. He changed Abram to Abraham, which means “father of many nations”. Think about it. Before Abraham had a single child, God called him, by faith, the father of many nations. Every time somebody said, “Hey, Abraham. How you doing?” they were saying, “Hello, father of many nations.” He heard that so often, it began to sink down inside him.
Sarah was an older woman who had never had any children. She probably didn’t feel much like a princess, but every time somebody said, “Hello, Sarah,” they were saying, “Hello, princess.” Over time, that changed her self-image. She no longer saw herself as an older, barren woman; she began to see herself as a princess. Eventually, she gave birth to a child whom she named Isaac (there’s a story behind that name, too), as God had instructed.
Perhaps God has whispered something to your heart that seems totally impossible. It may seem impossible for you to ever be well again, or impossible for you to get out of debt, to get married, to lose weight, to start that new business. In the natural, physical realm, all the odds seem to be against you; you don’t see how it could happen. But if you’re going to see those dreams come to pass, you have to get your mouth moving in the right direction and use your words to help you develop a new image on the inside.
No matter how impossible something looks, no matter how you feel, start boldly declaring, “I am strong in the Lord. I can do all things through Christ. I am well able to fulfill my destiny.” Call in what God has promised you. There’s a song that says, “Let the weak say I am strong.” You may not feel well today, but don’t go around saying, “I don’t think I’m ever going to get over this sickness.” Instead, start boldly declaring, “God is restoring health to me. I am getting better every day in ever way.”
Or maybe your financial situation doesn’t look good. Stars declaring, “I am blessed. I am prosperous. I’m the head and not the tail. I will lend and not borrow.”
Don’t merely use your words to describe your situation; use your words to change your situation.
God Without Limits:
Then the Lord said to Abraham…”Is anything too hard for the Lord?”
(Genesis 18:13-14)
Abraham and Sarah were stuck in the natural – they couldn’t see beyond what they couldn’t do. So they had a hard time imagining what God could do!
We often have the same problem when we think that our situation is beyond God’s control or power. But God is not limited by your education or lack of it. He’s not limited by what you have or what you don’t have. The Bible declares “with God all things are possible.”
Your job, your creativity, and your efforts are not your source. God is your source, and His creativity and resources are unlimited! One idea or direction from God can forever change the course of your life. God can do anything if you will simply stop limiting Him in your thinking.
part 1
If you live in the natural, all you will get will be the natural.
As for me, I want to live super-natural...
(more on this later...)
As for me, I want to live super-natural...
(more on this later...)
123lmnop
Another awesome daily devotional. What a great image to start off September with!
God, Your Guardian
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you can hide.
Psalm 91:4 (NCV)
The image of living beneath Shaddai’s shadow reminds me of a rained-out picnic. My college friends and I barely escaped a West Texas storm before it pummeled the park where we were spending a Saturday afternoon. As we were leaving, my buddy brought the car to a sudden stop and gestured to a tender sight on the ground. A mother bird sat exposed to the rain, her wing extended over her baby who had fallen out of the nest. The fierce storm prohibited her from returning to the tree, so she covered her child until the wind passed.
From how many winds is God protecting you? His wing, at this moment, shields you. A slanderous critic heading toward your desk is interrupted by a phone call. A burglar en route to your house has a flat tie. A drunk driver runs out of gas before your car passes his. God, your guardian, protects you.
God, Your Guardian
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you can hide.
Psalm 91:4 (NCV)
The image of living beneath Shaddai’s shadow reminds me of a rained-out picnic. My college friends and I barely escaped a West Texas storm before it pummeled the park where we were spending a Saturday afternoon. As we were leaving, my buddy brought the car to a sudden stop and gestured to a tender sight on the ground. A mother bird sat exposed to the rain, her wing extended over her baby who had fallen out of the nest. The fierce storm prohibited her from returning to the tree, so she covered her child until the wind passed.
From how many winds is God protecting you? His wing, at this moment, shields you. A slanderous critic heading toward your desk is interrupted by a phone call. A burglar en route to your house has a flat tie. A drunk driver runs out of gas before your car passes his. God, your guardian, protects you.
Friday, August 28, 2009
I'm A Lifer
Life is about admitting your mistakes. Those who cannot admit their mistakes, are doomed to repeat them.
I met a girl like that once; even fell in love with her. In her life, everything bad that happened was somebody else's fault. By blaming others, she never felt the need to take responsibility for her own life's situations, so she never changed herself. It was always somebody else who needed to change to suit her. And, if she never changes that tune, she will always be the willing victim in her life. That's sad.
So, my life, my mistakes. Not learning to be more unselfish in my twenties, that was my mistake, and it cost me my first marriage. Not wanting or willing to be alone, that was my mistake, and it led to me marrying my second wife. Not dealing with my past and hiding my head in the sand, that was my mistake, and that helped lead to my second marriage failing. Falling in love with someone, when I was married to somebody else, that was my mistake, and it hurt somebody I really had no desire to hurt. Falling in love with a non-Christian, that was my mistake, and it has led me to a lifetime of pain and a crossroads in my life.
Wearing my heart on my sleeve, and being open...that wasn't a mistake, that is just me, that is who I am.
All of my mistakes, they lead me to who I am today. Today...today is a new day. Each and every day, is a new day, a day of choices and opportunities. A day of forgiveness. Each and every day, is a blessing, a gift from God to me.
I admit my mistakes. I learn from them. I am forgiven. And I move on into my future.
This is my life. I accept it, I live it, and I am thankful for it. May God bless it, and use it for His glory.
I met a girl like that once; even fell in love with her. In her life, everything bad that happened was somebody else's fault. By blaming others, she never felt the need to take responsibility for her own life's situations, so she never changed herself. It was always somebody else who needed to change to suit her. And, if she never changes that tune, she will always be the willing victim in her life. That's sad.
So, my life, my mistakes. Not learning to be more unselfish in my twenties, that was my mistake, and it cost me my first marriage. Not wanting or willing to be alone, that was my mistake, and it led to me marrying my second wife. Not dealing with my past and hiding my head in the sand, that was my mistake, and that helped lead to my second marriage failing. Falling in love with someone, when I was married to somebody else, that was my mistake, and it hurt somebody I really had no desire to hurt. Falling in love with a non-Christian, that was my mistake, and it has led me to a lifetime of pain and a crossroads in my life.
Wearing my heart on my sleeve, and being open...that wasn't a mistake, that is just me, that is who I am.
All of my mistakes, they lead me to who I am today. Today...today is a new day. Each and every day, is a new day, a day of choices and opportunities. A day of forgiveness. Each and every day, is a blessing, a gift from God to me.
I admit my mistakes. I learn from them. I am forgiven. And I move on into my future.
This is my life. I accept it, I live it, and I am thankful for it. May God bless it, and use it for His glory.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Oh, Ow! I Love Jesus
I was searching through some of my various piles of stuff and what-nots and junk on some of my shelves, sorting through it all to find what to throw, what to keep, what to store, etcetera.
I came upon a card that I had tucked away. It was from my second wife, Rachelle. She had given it to me sometimes after we had separated. The card was encouraging me to get close to God, that we COULD work things out between us still and that she believed in me and would be there for me.
Ouch. Good thing that God is forgiving, isn't it?
I do not beleive in coincidences, so I guess was meant to find this now...
When Rachelle and I split up, I was hurt, very very hurt and very tired of trying. Although I feigned some "trying" (to work on our relationship) for her sake, I spent most of my time ignoring her. The only thing that I ignored more than her, was me and my own problems. I didn't have the strength to face myself. So, I didn't. I put my life on "ignore", and spent my time doing anything but making my own life or my own self better. I did not FEEL supported by Rachelle - after everything we had gone through, I just felt very very judged. There was little to no trust left between us, she had spied on me without reason too many times. She had attacked me too many times. And the fact that the same person who ridiculed me for my strong stand with God, would turn to Him only when we were split up...well, that is just like human nature, isn't it?
I hate letting people down. I let Rachelle and Chelsea both down. And, by the time I HAD spent some time working on me and mine, it was too late, she wanted nothing to do with me, as I had hurt her several more times in between.
I guess I will never know how things would have turned out, if Melanie had not come into my life. On the one hand, she drove me away from Rachelle. On the other hand, she was the impetus for change in my inner life, making me beleive that God wanted to use me, and encouraging me to look within myself and find some good. And when Mel and I went our separate ways, I was forced to deal with all the things in me that I did not like (still am, I suppose).
Huh. Life...some wild ride it is, huh?
Yeah, some...wild...ride...
I came upon a card that I had tucked away. It was from my second wife, Rachelle. She had given it to me sometimes after we had separated. The card was encouraging me to get close to God, that we COULD work things out between us still and that she believed in me and would be there for me.
Ouch. Good thing that God is forgiving, isn't it?
I do not beleive in coincidences, so I guess was meant to find this now...
When Rachelle and I split up, I was hurt, very very hurt and very tired of trying. Although I feigned some "trying" (to work on our relationship) for her sake, I spent most of my time ignoring her. The only thing that I ignored more than her, was me and my own problems. I didn't have the strength to face myself. So, I didn't. I put my life on "ignore", and spent my time doing anything but making my own life or my own self better. I did not FEEL supported by Rachelle - after everything we had gone through, I just felt very very judged. There was little to no trust left between us, she had spied on me without reason too many times. She had attacked me too many times. And the fact that the same person who ridiculed me for my strong stand with God, would turn to Him only when we were split up...well, that is just like human nature, isn't it?
I hate letting people down. I let Rachelle and Chelsea both down. And, by the time I HAD spent some time working on me and mine, it was too late, she wanted nothing to do with me, as I had hurt her several more times in between.
I guess I will never know how things would have turned out, if Melanie had not come into my life. On the one hand, she drove me away from Rachelle. On the other hand, she was the impetus for change in my inner life, making me beleive that God wanted to use me, and encouraging me to look within myself and find some good. And when Mel and I went our separate ways, I was forced to deal with all the things in me that I did not like (still am, I suppose).
Huh. Life...some wild ride it is, huh?
Yeah, some...wild...ride...
dv
I really liked my daily devotional for today...
When the Time Comes
God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Matthew 6:34 (MSG)
That last phrase is worthy of your highlighter: “when the time comes.”
You may be wanting to know everything to soon. Could it be that God will reveal answers to you when the time comes?
The key is this: Meet today’s problems with today’s strength. Don’t start tackling tomorrow’s problems until tomorrow. You do not have tomorrow’s strength yet. You simply have enough for today.
When the Time Comes
God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Matthew 6:34 (MSG)
That last phrase is worthy of your highlighter: “when the time comes.”
You may be wanting to know everything to soon. Could it be that God will reveal answers to you when the time comes?
The key is this: Meet today’s problems with today’s strength. Don’t start tackling tomorrow’s problems until tomorrow. You do not have tomorrow’s strength yet. You simply have enough for today.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Without A Vision, Man Perishes
I have a vision in my mind.
I am standing there, with one arm around my lovely daughter, Keegan. My other arm is around my wife. I cannot see who she is, of course. A lot of this vision is cloudy yet, but I am sure it will get clearer when it is supposed to. My wife has one or maybe two children in front of her, pressed close in against our legs; I cannot see their faces or tell what sex they are or what age they are. My wife also has a young baby in the crook of one arm, a very young baby wrapped up tight.
Everyone is smiling. Even though I cannot see the faces, I know that everyone is smiling and happy and relaxed. We are family. Family, a place of love.
I beleive this vision is coming.
I have a vision in my mind. And I am working hard to keep it there, to encourage myself with. To give me hope, and a future. My God has plans for me. It says so in Jeremaiah 29:11.
It is my vision, and I like it, and I call it to me.
I am standing there, with one arm around my lovely daughter, Keegan. My other arm is around my wife. I cannot see who she is, of course. A lot of this vision is cloudy yet, but I am sure it will get clearer when it is supposed to. My wife has one or maybe two children in front of her, pressed close in against our legs; I cannot see their faces or tell what sex they are or what age they are. My wife also has a young baby in the crook of one arm, a very young baby wrapped up tight.
Everyone is smiling. Even though I cannot see the faces, I know that everyone is smiling and happy and relaxed. We are family. Family, a place of love.
I beleive this vision is coming.
I have a vision in my mind. And I am working hard to keep it there, to encourage myself with. To give me hope, and a future. My God has plans for me. It says so in Jeremaiah 29:11.
It is my vision, and I like it, and I call it to me.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Take Care
I am learning to take care of myself.
Some will say that when I decided I was not going back to my second wife to try to make things work (not that they had EVER really worked between the two of us), that it was a selfish decision.
Can't say that I would disagree with them; they're right.
However, to assume that the story has ended with that statement, would be completely false. As with every coin, there are two sides, both equally correct.
The fact is, when I decided not to go back, I was spreading my wings. I was leaving the nest. I needed "me" time, time to discover who I was and what I wanted.
What I DIDN'T want, was to be stuck in a loveless marriage that made me (and everybody else) miserable. I did not want to be in a place where I was being told what I had to be (something completely different than who and what I was). So I chose to re-make myself. I set myself free, and gave myself permission to do it. I did it, and then I forgave myself. It helped to know that my God had forgiven me.
So, I moved on. It has been a bumpy road. A curvy road. The ride has not been fun. But, it was (and still is) necessary.
I am learning about myself; I know what I am like under pressure, and what I'm like when I am happy to be alive, I know Who I rely on when I am down and what happens to me when I turn to distractions instead. I am not relying on anybody to take care of me, but me (and God, of course). Some days, I just cannot like myself at all. A lot of days, I am not very pleased with my life. But, I am determined to own myself as never before. What happens, happens because I allow it to. My life is nobody's fault but my own, and only I can change it (or, only God can change me for the better, but only if I let Him).
It is about personal responsibiliy. If I step on your toes, it is because I mean to; deal with it. If you step on my toes, then it is my decision whether to allow you to be close enough to me to possibly step on them again. My life, my choice - my responsibility.
There are areas of my life where I am fairly 'okay' in. For instance, most of the time I do not feel that I need a woman in my life to complete me. It isn't that I do not 'want' a good woman in my life - I just do not "need" one. I want to be more of a giving person, and I want to be a compassionate lover and sharer, and I desire to have a special someone in my life that I can be like that with - but, it'll happen when it happens, and in the meantime it is just me, I need to take care of me.
Problem being, women do not like my openness; it scares them. Nor do they like "me", as they all want to change me. No acceptance of what IS in their love. Well, I cannot accept that, nor will I accept that. That isn't good for me, and I only want what is good for me in my life.
See? I am learning to take care of myself. Me, all by myself, like a big boy.
20 years since I have become an adult, and I am just now starting to figure it all out...and I have a long long long way to go yet...sigh...
Some will say that when I decided I was not going back to my second wife to try to make things work (not that they had EVER really worked between the two of us), that it was a selfish decision.
Can't say that I would disagree with them; they're right.
However, to assume that the story has ended with that statement, would be completely false. As with every coin, there are two sides, both equally correct.
The fact is, when I decided not to go back, I was spreading my wings. I was leaving the nest. I needed "me" time, time to discover who I was and what I wanted.
What I DIDN'T want, was to be stuck in a loveless marriage that made me (and everybody else) miserable. I did not want to be in a place where I was being told what I had to be (something completely different than who and what I was). So I chose to re-make myself. I set myself free, and gave myself permission to do it. I did it, and then I forgave myself. It helped to know that my God had forgiven me.
So, I moved on. It has been a bumpy road. A curvy road. The ride has not been fun. But, it was (and still is) necessary.
I am learning about myself; I know what I am like under pressure, and what I'm like when I am happy to be alive, I know Who I rely on when I am down and what happens to me when I turn to distractions instead. I am not relying on anybody to take care of me, but me (and God, of course). Some days, I just cannot like myself at all. A lot of days, I am not very pleased with my life. But, I am determined to own myself as never before. What happens, happens because I allow it to. My life is nobody's fault but my own, and only I can change it (or, only God can change me for the better, but only if I let Him).
It is about personal responsibiliy. If I step on your toes, it is because I mean to; deal with it. If you step on my toes, then it is my decision whether to allow you to be close enough to me to possibly step on them again. My life, my choice - my responsibility.
There are areas of my life where I am fairly 'okay' in. For instance, most of the time I do not feel that I need a woman in my life to complete me. It isn't that I do not 'want' a good woman in my life - I just do not "need" one. I want to be more of a giving person, and I want to be a compassionate lover and sharer, and I desire to have a special someone in my life that I can be like that with - but, it'll happen when it happens, and in the meantime it is just me, I need to take care of me.
Problem being, women do not like my openness; it scares them. Nor do they like "me", as they all want to change me. No acceptance of what IS in their love. Well, I cannot accept that, nor will I accept that. That isn't good for me, and I only want what is good for me in my life.
See? I am learning to take care of myself. Me, all by myself, like a big boy.
20 years since I have become an adult, and I am just now starting to figure it all out...and I have a long long long way to go yet...sigh...
CDFF-Lucky This Time by Mr. Big - lyrics
Lyrics to "CDFF-Lucky This Time" by Mr. Big
Lost and alone in this city of darkness
Empty of lovers and full of lies
You build a wall between your dreams and the madness
I reach out my hand but you run and hide
I've watched you cry in the rain
I wanna bring back the joy again
Open your heart to mine
I believe, I believe, you won't be sorry
This time, baby
Open your heart tonight
I believe, I believe you might
Be lucky this time
You might be lucky this time
No guarantees when you risk your emotion
So you surrender and it all went astray
Bitter and hopeless in your cold isolation
But you my love won't ever fade away
I wanna dry all your tears
You know there's nothin' to fear, baby
Open your heart to mine
I believe, I believe, you won't be sorry
This time, baby
Open your heart tonight
I believe, I believe you might
Be lucky this time
You might be lucky this time
And when the shadows start to fall
Let my love break down the walls
Open your heart to mine
I believe, I believe, you won't be sorry
This time, baby
Open your heart tonight
I believe, I believe you might
Be lucky this time
You might be lucky this time
Open your heart to mine
I believe, I believe, you won't be sorry
This time, baby
Open your heart tonight
I believe, I believe you might
Be lucky this time
You might be lucky this time
Lost and alone in this city of darkness
Empty of lovers and full of lies
You build a wall between your dreams and the madness
I reach out my hand but you run and hide
I've watched you cry in the rain
I wanna bring back the joy again
Open your heart to mine
I believe, I believe, you won't be sorry
This time, baby
Open your heart tonight
I believe, I believe you might
Be lucky this time
You might be lucky this time
No guarantees when you risk your emotion
So you surrender and it all went astray
Bitter and hopeless in your cold isolation
But you my love won't ever fade away
I wanna dry all your tears
You know there's nothin' to fear, baby
Open your heart to mine
I believe, I believe, you won't be sorry
This time, baby
Open your heart tonight
I believe, I believe you might
Be lucky this time
You might be lucky this time
And when the shadows start to fall
Let my love break down the walls
Open your heart to mine
I believe, I believe, you won't be sorry
This time, baby
Open your heart tonight
I believe, I believe you might
Be lucky this time
You might be lucky this time
Open your heart to mine
I believe, I believe, you won't be sorry
This time, baby
Open your heart tonight
I believe, I believe you might
Be lucky this time
You might be lucky this time
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Spilled Soul
Something interesting happened to me tonight. A workmate was telling me that she had recently contacted MJ via telephone to congratulate her on the new baby girl, Amelia. (Amelia, it’s Hebrew meaning is “work of the Lord.”)
There was some stuff passed on, mainly Melanie’s continuing declaration that her “husband” is never there for her, that he is never at home and just leaves her on her own with the (now) three kids, and that she is miserably unhappy. (Same old stuff she always spouts; she never takes responsibility to change her own life for the better, though)
My name never came up. She only asked about one person here at work, another supervisor, the only person she still feels she can manipulate here; and she is right, she can manipulate that person – she has proven it time and time again, and others have done so as well.
As my workmate and I discussed, Melanie has always been about manipulating people and things around her. She is all about subtle control. She manipulates everything and everyone in her life. That is how she manages her fears (fears which she says she does not have).
The reason my name never came up, is she has changed the facts in her life to make me 'the bad guy'. She has manipulated the facts, and tried hard to manipulate those around her to believe the facts as she now sees them. She cannot ask about me, even if she wanted to (which I highly doubt she does), for to ask about me would destroy the façade she has built up where everything was my fault that happened between us. Pure, unfair manipulation. Thankfully, God is my judge, and He knows the truth.
Know what the amazing thing is? I still feel deeply for her, and about her. She still carries my heart with her; I just no longer believe that my love for her will ever be returned in this lifetime. She is incapable of it. I pray for her, that God saves her as He promised to, and that He changes her life for the better. And I also continue to pray that God does not allow me to see her, not ever, not unless He wishes for it to happen (God will not give me more than I can bear).
And I try to move on. Hurting still, but moving on, slowly and at my own pace. I’m doing things the only way that I know how, and praying for God’s strength and wisdom to see me through. I hope and believe that I am becoming more and more ready to have a real, and a really good, relationship with a nice Christian woman who loves God passionately. I think that I deserve a good safe happy loving relationship with somebody special, and I think that there is somebody out there who deserves having me in their life. I just wish that I knew where God was leading me. I wish I knew where my life was going, or at least had some small idea. My life has been a sucking whirlpool of aloneness for so long, I just tire of it. I want excitement, I want passion; Lord, I want to love again.
I am ready to live again. To live, to give, and to love. Lord, send it my way, and soon. Fulfill Your promise to me. Make me useful again.
Sometimes, you do not know what you are missing, because you never had it before. Then, when you do have it, and then lose it, you almost wish you had never experienced it, because the loss is so much greater than you can bear.
“I gave her my heart…and she gave me a pen.” – Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything
People get wrapped up in the thinking that I had a romantic, fairytale love for Melanie, and that I should 'grow up, get real, and move on'. People miss the point, they entirely miss the point…
The love I had for her, was not romantic, it was not a heart-love – I was truly in love with her SOUL, because I recognized it. Talking to her and getting to know her, was like getting slapped in the face with the realization that you have a twin that you never knew about. On the surface, we were quite different – but my soul recognized something in her, my spirit recognized her, and it was if I had always known her. It was her SOUL that I loved, and I could not help it. Still to this day, in spite of all my hurt, I STILL recognize her soul. Nothing has changed. I weep for her, because she needs Jesus. I miss her terribly. I wish that I could lay down my life, right here and now, and die for her. If my death would guarantee her salvation, I’d give my life without a second thought – can’t say as I’ve ever felt like THAT about anybody else before this!
I know I can’t have her. I realize that I cannot even be her friend. And I hate it. But I accept it. It is indescribable loss to me.
The reason I never want to see her again, is because I know that if I do, I will have to walk away. Walk away, when every fibre of my being screams not to. I have already had to walk away from her once, to protect myself from her manipulations; I do not jest when I say it almost cost me my sanity. I have never been closer to losing my mind. It has taken me ten months to get to a sane place again. To have to do that again, to have to PHYSICALLY walk away from her….it would kill me.
When I say she still has my heart, it is because I recognize her soul. I’ll never forget her soul. Her soul, I believe it is 'marked' – it belongs to God, she just does not know it yet. I cannot think badly about her, because I love her on a spiritual level. I no longer love her physically, mentally, or emotionally. But spiritually, I think I always will on that level. It can’t be helped.
I gave her my everything, because I was supposed to. I planted seeds, and I watered seeds planted by others. I did my job. Now, God will continue to do His. She WILL be saved. End of story.
For those of you who cannot understand what I say about her; I am sorry. Hopefully, God will lead me to a wonderful woman whom I fall madly in love with, and we will be very happy together. I know that it is possible. I’ve experienced love on a level I never thought I could, so I know it is out there…I’ve just never ever had it returned to me by someone else…
Green-Tinted Sixties Mind by Mr. Big
She just woke up, but she's still tired
Is that the telephone ringing?
The curtains can't hold back the light
That's reaching into her dreams
Down in her heart
If it had fingers, it'd be tearing it apart
You be lookin' groovy
In a sixties movie
Maybe tell the press you died
Little legend baby
Try your very best to hide
A green-tinted sixties mind
She keeps some memories locked away
But they are always escaping
Neglect won't make them fade away
They're reaching into her dreams
Down in her heart
Don't need fingers to be tearing it apart
Gotta face the day
There is no other way
To clear the fog inside your mind
Fill it up with dreams
But all that you can seem to find
A green-tinted sixties mind
Hangin' out with Janis
Movin' to Atlantis
Could've made it if you tried
What's the point of force
It's easy as a horse to ride
A green-tinted sixties mind
You be looking groovy
In a sixties movie
Maybe tell the press you died
Little legend baby
Try your very best to hide
A green-tinted sixties mind
-U can't hide-
And, a poem that I wrote tonight...
http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/2009/08/improbable-drift.html
There was some stuff passed on, mainly Melanie’s continuing declaration that her “husband” is never there for her, that he is never at home and just leaves her on her own with the (now) three kids, and that she is miserably unhappy. (Same old stuff she always spouts; she never takes responsibility to change her own life for the better, though)
My name never came up. She only asked about one person here at work, another supervisor, the only person she still feels she can manipulate here; and she is right, she can manipulate that person – she has proven it time and time again, and others have done so as well.
As my workmate and I discussed, Melanie has always been about manipulating people and things around her. She is all about subtle control. She manipulates everything and everyone in her life. That is how she manages her fears (fears which she says she does not have).
The reason my name never came up, is she has changed the facts in her life to make me 'the bad guy'. She has manipulated the facts, and tried hard to manipulate those around her to believe the facts as she now sees them. She cannot ask about me, even if she wanted to (which I highly doubt she does), for to ask about me would destroy the façade she has built up where everything was my fault that happened between us. Pure, unfair manipulation. Thankfully, God is my judge, and He knows the truth.
Know what the amazing thing is? I still feel deeply for her, and about her. She still carries my heart with her; I just no longer believe that my love for her will ever be returned in this lifetime. She is incapable of it. I pray for her, that God saves her as He promised to, and that He changes her life for the better. And I also continue to pray that God does not allow me to see her, not ever, not unless He wishes for it to happen (God will not give me more than I can bear).
And I try to move on. Hurting still, but moving on, slowly and at my own pace. I’m doing things the only way that I know how, and praying for God’s strength and wisdom to see me through. I hope and believe that I am becoming more and more ready to have a real, and a really good, relationship with a nice Christian woman who loves God passionately. I think that I deserve a good safe happy loving relationship with somebody special, and I think that there is somebody out there who deserves having me in their life. I just wish that I knew where God was leading me. I wish I knew where my life was going, or at least had some small idea. My life has been a sucking whirlpool of aloneness for so long, I just tire of it. I want excitement, I want passion; Lord, I want to love again.
I am ready to live again. To live, to give, and to love. Lord, send it my way, and soon. Fulfill Your promise to me. Make me useful again.
Sometimes, you do not know what you are missing, because you never had it before. Then, when you do have it, and then lose it, you almost wish you had never experienced it, because the loss is so much greater than you can bear.
“I gave her my heart…and she gave me a pen.” – Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything
People get wrapped up in the thinking that I had a romantic, fairytale love for Melanie, and that I should 'grow up, get real, and move on'. People miss the point, they entirely miss the point…
The love I had for her, was not romantic, it was not a heart-love – I was truly in love with her SOUL, because I recognized it. Talking to her and getting to know her, was like getting slapped in the face with the realization that you have a twin that you never knew about. On the surface, we were quite different – but my soul recognized something in her, my spirit recognized her, and it was if I had always known her. It was her SOUL that I loved, and I could not help it. Still to this day, in spite of all my hurt, I STILL recognize her soul. Nothing has changed. I weep for her, because she needs Jesus. I miss her terribly. I wish that I could lay down my life, right here and now, and die for her. If my death would guarantee her salvation, I’d give my life without a second thought – can’t say as I’ve ever felt like THAT about anybody else before this!
I know I can’t have her. I realize that I cannot even be her friend. And I hate it. But I accept it. It is indescribable loss to me.
The reason I never want to see her again, is because I know that if I do, I will have to walk away. Walk away, when every fibre of my being screams not to. I have already had to walk away from her once, to protect myself from her manipulations; I do not jest when I say it almost cost me my sanity. I have never been closer to losing my mind. It has taken me ten months to get to a sane place again. To have to do that again, to have to PHYSICALLY walk away from her….it would kill me.
When I say she still has my heart, it is because I recognize her soul. I’ll never forget her soul. Her soul, I believe it is 'marked' – it belongs to God, she just does not know it yet. I cannot think badly about her, because I love her on a spiritual level. I no longer love her physically, mentally, or emotionally. But spiritually, I think I always will on that level. It can’t be helped.
I gave her my everything, because I was supposed to. I planted seeds, and I watered seeds planted by others. I did my job. Now, God will continue to do His. She WILL be saved. End of story.
For those of you who cannot understand what I say about her; I am sorry. Hopefully, God will lead me to a wonderful woman whom I fall madly in love with, and we will be very happy together. I know that it is possible. I’ve experienced love on a level I never thought I could, so I know it is out there…I’ve just never ever had it returned to me by someone else…
Green-Tinted Sixties Mind by Mr. Big
She just woke up, but she's still tired
Is that the telephone ringing?
The curtains can't hold back the light
That's reaching into her dreams
Down in her heart
If it had fingers, it'd be tearing it apart
You be lookin' groovy
In a sixties movie
Maybe tell the press you died
Little legend baby
Try your very best to hide
A green-tinted sixties mind
She keeps some memories locked away
But they are always escaping
Neglect won't make them fade away
They're reaching into her dreams
Down in her heart
Don't need fingers to be tearing it apart
Gotta face the day
There is no other way
To clear the fog inside your mind
Fill it up with dreams
But all that you can seem to find
A green-tinted sixties mind
Hangin' out with Janis
Movin' to Atlantis
Could've made it if you tried
What's the point of force
It's easy as a horse to ride
A green-tinted sixties mind
You be looking groovy
In a sixties movie
Maybe tell the press you died
Little legend baby
Try your very best to hide
A green-tinted sixties mind
-U can't hide-
And, a poem that I wrote tonight...
http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/2009/08/improbable-drift.html
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