Self-Revelation

You know what I was just thinking about today, what actually popped into my head?

I am 38 years old, nearing 39 shortly into the new year...

I am twice divorced...

I live alone, in an apartment, no pets, very few friends, none that I see (I talk to Shauna once in a while electronically, and Shiray is a friend but she is really more "family" in a weird sort fo way).

Yet...here is what came to me...

For the (probably - no, make that "likely") first time in my life, I am happy. I like who I am. I "get" me, and I am okay with who I am on the inside. I feel a sense of love that I carry with me always; God loves me.

Think about that...almost 39 years, gone through many tragedies in my life, lost much, much heartache and pain, and FINALLY (thank You, Lord!) I have learned to be okay with myself.

I am lonely at times, but not overwhelmingly so, because I like myself and my own company. I like who I am, what I am interested in, what I say and what I do - goshdarnnit, I like me! So, in that case, it is okay for me to be lonely. No, not "good" for me to be alone, as I know becasue the Bible tells me so. But, see, I do not have a burning need to be with somebody, because I like myself. I am okay by myself. I'm not alone because I am scared and am hiding...I am alone because God fills me up and makes me realize that I do noty need another person to complete me, God does that (He completes me).

Well, I could blather on forever, but...