Pages Become Chapters...

Just got home.

Home from my last night of work at Lake City Casinos in Vernon.

That place has been my place of employment for the last 7 and a half years; long time.

Lots of emotions going on right now.

I kept announcing my "lasts" while working. "This is my last 6:30 break at this place." "This is my last 11:00 washroom break at this place." "This is the last time coming back in this room from my lunch break." Gwen and Christine got a kick out of it. But, I wasn't doing it for the laughs...I was appreciating this place that has been my workplace, in my own way. Bidding it a fond farewell, one moment at a time.

Leaving is hard. I see an open-ended road of God-led opportunities in front of me, and feel very blessed and mainly peaceful about living and working in Kelowna. But it is still hard to leave behind those you have known for so long.

I was thinking on the way home, that one thing i will never get used to, never get desensitized to in my life, is getting to know and care for people and realizing that they are headed for a lifetime in Hell.

That's tough. Brutally, agonizingly tough. How do you...what do you even say about that? Makes my heart ache...

At work, the dayshifters presented me with a card, signed by most of them plus a few of the nightshifters too. That was really nice. There was well-wishes from many of my Surveillance colleagues, and a Tim Horton's gift card (oh, they know me so well!).

When I started work, handshakes all around. My boss, David, in particular made me feel appreciated and wished me the best, said he hoped to hear from me and see me around (I hope so too, Dave!).

I also got to talk to three other managers working tonight in the Casino, two in person and one via telephone, who all wished me well. One in particular made me feel especially missed (already! lol), and let me know how much she appreciated my humour and my hard work; she didn't seem to think anybody could adequately take over for me, but I think she was just being kind. I felt a little uncomfortable with all of this attention...

Another girl i work with, did not show up to work tonight. Being that she is very emotional, it is possible that she decided to skip my leaving so she wouldn't break down in tears. Fairly likely.

When my shift ended, hugs from my favourite Surveillance Operator, Gwen (she's like a big sister and a grandma all rolled up into one! lol. We got to know each other quite well, to the point where we could finish each others' sentences and laugh at our jokes before we had even finished them!), and then an unexpected hug from my boss, Christine (she also went out and bought me treats and edible goodies, fattening stuff). A handshake from one of the graveyard guys followed. The other graveyard guy...he is the spiritual thorn in my side, satan's way of getting at me at my work. I put out my hand to shake with him, he completely ignored me, wouldn't look at me at all, and just growled out "No!" and then shut up and ignored me. i guess it was his last chance to hurt me, so he took it. And it DID hurt me, of course...half the car ride home, until i just kept praying and God took the burden and weight off of me and released me from his influence, and I figuratively wiped him off of the soles of my feet and went on.

I remember standing by my car in the Casino parking lot, gazing up at the building. Realizing I was no longer employed there. Weird feeling.

And so another Chapter in my life has come to a close, just as another page is turned and a new Chapter is revealed. God continues to Author my life.

May it be pleasing to Him.

Amen.

long time, no time

Been busy lately. Crazy busy.

Was offered a job in my field in Kelowna. Accepted it. Being transferred. It is, at the start, a small step back for me, but I am beleiving that i will be promoted from within when the time is right.

Moved from Vernon to Kelowna. That was nuts, and very tiring and exhausting.

Been commuting back to Vernon to work there, my last day there is Tuesday. That is exciting, but also a little sad...

God has been blessing me. In my job(s), in my move, in my life in general.

One way God has blessed me, is not that long ago, i watched a movie and it reminded me so VERY much of Melanie. I broke down several times while watching it, feeling alternately physically sick and sadly weepy. It was a tough time.

But, I have been learning something in my life. We, as people, tend to switch things off and move past them, pushing them aside. Oftentimes, it is before we have actually truly dealt with them. Sometimes, God blesses us by unexpectedly ripping off the bandaid, and the scab with it, in order to facilitate further healing. That hurts. I have been learning in my life, when this happens, to smile through the tears and the pain, and thank God for what He is doing, and let Him do it.

Several days later, while driving, God showed me a revelation about my last marriage, to Rachelle, that helped me to put some things into proper perspective. That was also unexpected, completely out of the blue. Once again, God's divine blessing works in mysterious ways.

So, i am doing well. By faith, i know and proclaim that i am doing AWESOME! I'm a little tired out, and a little nervous, and a lot overwhelmed. But I will make it, Jesus will walk me through it, and I will rejoice in His many blessings.

My mind is going a hundred miles an hour. Guess it is time to go to bed, prepare myself for my last work shift in Vernon with a good rest.

:)