You know what I was just thinking about today, what actually popped into my head?
I am 38 years old, nearing 39 shortly into the new year...
I am twice divorced...
I live alone, in an apartment, no pets, very few friends, none that I see (I talk to Shauna once in a while electronically, and Shiray is a friend but she is really more "family" in a weird sort fo way).
Yet...here is what came to me...
For the (probably - no, make that "likely") first time in my life, I am happy. I like who I am. I "get" me, and I am okay with who I am on the inside. I feel a sense of love that I carry with me always; God loves me.
Think about that...almost 39 years, gone through many tragedies in my life, lost much, much heartache and pain, and FINALLY (thank You, Lord!) I have learned to be okay with myself.
I am lonely at times, but not overwhelmingly so, because I like myself and my own company. I like who I am, what I am interested in, what I say and what I do - goshdarnnit, I like me! So, in that case, it is okay for me to be lonely. No, not "good" for me to be alone, as I know becasue the Bible tells me so. But, see, I do not have a burning need to be with somebody, because I like myself. I am okay by myself. I'm not alone because I am scared and am hiding...I am alone because God fills me up and makes me realize that I do noty need another person to complete me, God does that (He completes me).
Well, I could blather on forever, but...
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
"Height"
So, thought I would pop back in here and let y'all know what I have been "up to" ("height"; get it?).
My personal life. No new friends. No new loves. No cat. But...
I am trying to keep busy...
Been blogging regularly over at my video-game blog, where I am continuing writing up my adventures in the land of Neverwinter Nights 2 as they unfold. Obviously, I get more of this done while I am on my weekend than I do while I am working. http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
Haven't written any poems lately, so not much going on there at that blog, although it would be easy enough to type up an older poem and post it, which I just might do soon. http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/
Of course, I pop up here when I have something to say, which is sometimes lots, sometimes not so much. http://dreaming-of-leprechauns.blogspot.com/
My comic book blog, I am trying to be more regular with that now, and some of my online acquaintances from alphaflight.net actually read that blog from time to time, which is nice of them. Finding stuff to say about the things I am passionate about in life. http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/
Other than that, I am keeping an eye on my yearly hockey pool, trying to remain in striking distance of the top so I can reclaim my championship trophy that was so rudely taken from me last year!
Of course, watching as much hockey on TV as I can, cheering on my Penguins and happy that the Oilers are improving finally.
I'm on Facebook a lot less now, because I only have so much time in the day to devote to a lot of things, so I talk less there, but I do check in a few times every day, so feel free to leave me a message there if you desire.
I am also playing the video games Neverwinter Nights 2 and NHL 2004. And listening to music and watching DVDs. And reading comics.
I got to see my ex-wife and daughter last week, that was fun. And I took my parents out for lunch, it was good to see them again.
As far as work goes, the GM at work was let go. Two bigwigs from high up in the company have taken over for now, and are going over everything with a fine-tooth comb. They are looking at inventory, budget numbers,a nd having extnsive meetings with management. How this all affects me and my department, I am not so sure yet. But I truly believe that the change will be a good thing for my workplace as a whole. But only time will tell.
Well, that is it for me. Talk at ya later!
My personal life. No new friends. No new loves. No cat. But...
I am trying to keep busy...
Been blogging regularly over at my video-game blog, where I am continuing writing up my adventures in the land of Neverwinter Nights 2 as they unfold. Obviously, I get more of this done while I am on my weekend than I do while I am working. http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
Haven't written any poems lately, so not much going on there at that blog, although it would be easy enough to type up an older poem and post it, which I just might do soon. http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/
Of course, I pop up here when I have something to say, which is sometimes lots, sometimes not so much. http://dreaming-of-leprechauns.blogspot.com/
My comic book blog, I am trying to be more regular with that now, and some of my online acquaintances from alphaflight.net actually read that blog from time to time, which is nice of them. Finding stuff to say about the things I am passionate about in life. http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/
Other than that, I am keeping an eye on my yearly hockey pool, trying to remain in striking distance of the top so I can reclaim my championship trophy that was so rudely taken from me last year!
Of course, watching as much hockey on TV as I can, cheering on my Penguins and happy that the Oilers are improving finally.
I'm on Facebook a lot less now, because I only have so much time in the day to devote to a lot of things, so I talk less there, but I do check in a few times every day, so feel free to leave me a message there if you desire.
I am also playing the video games Neverwinter Nights 2 and NHL 2004. And listening to music and watching DVDs. And reading comics.
I got to see my ex-wife and daughter last week, that was fun. And I took my parents out for lunch, it was good to see them again.
As far as work goes, the GM at work was let go. Two bigwigs from high up in the company have taken over for now, and are going over everything with a fine-tooth comb. They are looking at inventory, budget numbers,a nd having extnsive meetings with management. How this all affects me and my department, I am not so sure yet. But I truly believe that the change will be a good thing for my workplace as a whole. But only time will tell.
Well, that is it for me. Talk at ya later!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Great Love ?
One of the greatest love stories ever put to film.
Anakin and Padme. Stars Wars Episode II - Attack Of The Clones.
Click them to enlarge them.
Anakin and Padme. Stars Wars Episode II - Attack Of The Clones.
Click them to enlarge them.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Theo Fleury
For the last day or so, i have seen the bits and pieces of interviews with Theoren Fleury, former National Hockey League player.
I have gone to tsn.ca/nhl and clicked on his extended interview, and sat for 9 minutes in silence and awe.
And I have wept.
Lives are so very precious. Not just one or two lives; all lives.
How the Father's heart must ache for those of us in life who have been saddled with things we never asked for and were never meant to have to carry around. Guilt, shame, self-hatred, confusion, pain.
He hit rock-bottom, with a gun in his mouth, before he learned to begin to see himself as worth something, and refused to go on allowing his past to negatively affect his present and his future. He stopped making excuses, he stopped being a victim, he forgave and he began to move on and rebuild his life.
It is a process, a day by day process,and I wish him well. My heart goes out to him, and to all others like him, and I thank Mr. Theoren Fleury for telling his story. Even though I have not been through what he has been through, I still plan on buying his book.
I have gone to tsn.ca/nhl and clicked on his extended interview, and sat for 9 minutes in silence and awe.
And I have wept.
Lives are so very precious. Not just one or two lives; all lives.
How the Father's heart must ache for those of us in life who have been saddled with things we never asked for and were never meant to have to carry around. Guilt, shame, self-hatred, confusion, pain.
He hit rock-bottom, with a gun in his mouth, before he learned to begin to see himself as worth something, and refused to go on allowing his past to negatively affect his present and his future. He stopped making excuses, he stopped being a victim, he forgave and he began to move on and rebuild his life.
It is a process, a day by day process,and I wish him well. My heart goes out to him, and to all others like him, and I thank Mr. Theoren Fleury for telling his story. Even though I have not been through what he has been through, I still plan on buying his book.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
more Gore
An interesting article from Glenn Beck's radio show.
Once again, all about the lies of Al Gore.
Al Gore, for the first time in four years, takes questions from acredited journalists at one of his speeches about global warming and the environment. One journalist dares to question the "facts" about An Inconvenient Truth, and Al Gore lies to his face, mocks him, and then has his micorphone cut off!
If the article is a little long for you and a little too tongue-in-cheek, then just click on the link below, then click on the small video to play that and see exactly what happened between this journalist and Al Gore.
http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/31833/
Once again, all about the lies of Al Gore.
Al Gore, for the first time in four years, takes questions from acredited journalists at one of his speeches about global warming and the environment. One journalist dares to question the "facts" about An Inconvenient Truth, and Al Gore lies to his face, mocks him, and then has his micorphone cut off!
If the article is a little long for you and a little too tongue-in-cheek, then just click on the link below, then click on the small video to play that and see exactly what happened between this journalist and Al Gore.
http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/31833/
Monday, October 12, 2009
Where's The Warming?
The BBC reports today that the year with the highest global temperatures is, of course, 2008...No? 2007? Nope. 2006? Try again. Actually, 1998 was the warmest year on record. Hmmm, how about that - wasn't Miami supposed to be underwater by now? Global temperatures are not rising, but there is one thing that is rapidly increasing: Al Gore's net worth. In 2000, the goofy VP was worth about $2 million. Now he's worth over $100 million and stands to make much more off new 'green' technologies. Just another case of Jack and his magic beans, apparently.
What happened to global warming?
By Paul Hudson
Climate correspondent, BBC News
This headline may come as a bit of a surprise, so too might that fact that the warmest year recorded globally was not in 2008 or 2007, but in 1998.
But it is true. For the last 11 years we have not observed any increase in global temperatures.
And our climate models did not forecast it, even though man-made carbon dioxide, the gas thought to be responsible for warming our planet, has continued to rise.
So what on Earth is going on?
Climate change sceptics, who passionately and consistently argue that man's influence on our climate is overstated, say they saw it coming.
They argue that there are natural cycles, over which we have no control, that dictate how warm the planet is. But what is the evidence for this?
During the last few decades of the 20th Century, our planet did warm quickly.
Sceptics argue that the warming we observed was down to the energy from the Sun increasing. After all 98% of the Earth's warmth comes from the Sun.
But research conducted two years ago, and published by the Royal Society, seemed to rule out solar influences.
The scientists' main approach was simple: to look at solar output and cosmic ray intensity over the last 30-40 years, and compare those trends with the graph for global average surface temperature.
And the results were clear. "Warming in the last 20 to 40 years can't have been caused by solar activity," said Dr Piers Forster from Leeds University, a leading contributor to this year's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).
But one solar scientist Piers Corbyn from Weatheraction, a company specialising in long range weather forecasting, disagrees.
He claims that solar charged particles impact us far more than is currently accepted, so much so he says that they are almost entirely responsible for what happens to global temperatures.
He is so excited by what he has discovered that he plans to tell the international scientific community at a conference in London at the end of the month.
If proved correct, this could revolutionise the whole subject.
Ocean cycles
What is really interesting at the moment is what is happening to our oceans. They are the Earth's great heat stores.
According to research conducted by Professor Don Easterbrook from Western Washington University last November, the oceans and global temperatures are correlated.
The oceans, he says, have a cycle in which they warm and cool cyclically. The most important one is the Pacific decadal oscillation (PDO).
For much of the 1980s and 1990s, it was in a positive cycle, that means warmer than average. And observations have revealed that global temperatures were warm too.
But in the last few years it has been losing its warmth and has recently started to cool down.
These cycles in the past have lasted for nearly 30 years.
So could global temperatures follow? The global cooling from 1945 to 1977 coincided with one of these cold Pacific cycles.
Professor Easterbrook says: "The PDO cool mode has replaced the warm mode in the Pacific Ocean, virtually assuring us of about 30 years of global cooling."
So what does it all mean? Climate change sceptics argue that this is evidence that they have been right all along.
They say there are so many other natural causes for warming and cooling, that even if man is warming the planet, it is a small part compared with nature.
But those scientists who are equally passionate about man's influence on global warming argue that their science is solid.
The UK Met Office's Hadley Centre, responsible for future climate predictions, says it incorporates solar variation and ocean cycles into its climate models, and that they are nothing new.
In fact, the centre says they are just two of the whole host of known factors that influence global temperatures - all of which are accounted for by its models.
In addition, say Met Office scientists, temperatures have never increased in a straight line, and there will always be periods of slower warming, or even temporary cooling.
What is crucial, they say, is the long-term trend in global temperatures. And that, according to the Met office data, is clearly up.
To confuse the issue even further, last month Mojib Latif, a member of the IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) says that we may indeed be in a period of cooling worldwide temperatures that could last another 10-20 years.
Professor Latif is based at the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences at Kiel University in Germany and is one of the world's top climate modellers.
But he makes it clear that he has not become a sceptic; he believes that this cooling will be temporary, before the overwhelming force of man-made global warming reasserts itself.
So what can we expect in the next few years?
Both sides have very different forecasts. The Met Office says that warming is set to resume quickly and strongly.
It predicts that from 2010 to 2015 at least half the years will be hotter than the current hottest year on record (1998).
Sceptics disagree. They insist it is unlikely that temperatures will reach the dizzy heights of 1998 until 2030 at the earliest. It is possible, they say, that because of ocean and solar cycles a period of global cooling is more likely.
One thing is for sure. It seems the debate about what is causing global warming is far from over. Indeed some would say it is hotting up.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8299079.stm
What happened to global warming?
By Paul Hudson
Climate correspondent, BBC News
This headline may come as a bit of a surprise, so too might that fact that the warmest year recorded globally was not in 2008 or 2007, but in 1998.
But it is true. For the last 11 years we have not observed any increase in global temperatures.
And our climate models did not forecast it, even though man-made carbon dioxide, the gas thought to be responsible for warming our planet, has continued to rise.
So what on Earth is going on?
Climate change sceptics, who passionately and consistently argue that man's influence on our climate is overstated, say they saw it coming.
They argue that there are natural cycles, over which we have no control, that dictate how warm the planet is. But what is the evidence for this?
During the last few decades of the 20th Century, our planet did warm quickly.
Sceptics argue that the warming we observed was down to the energy from the Sun increasing. After all 98% of the Earth's warmth comes from the Sun.
But research conducted two years ago, and published by the Royal Society, seemed to rule out solar influences.
The scientists' main approach was simple: to look at solar output and cosmic ray intensity over the last 30-40 years, and compare those trends with the graph for global average surface temperature.
And the results were clear. "Warming in the last 20 to 40 years can't have been caused by solar activity," said Dr Piers Forster from Leeds University, a leading contributor to this year's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).
But one solar scientist Piers Corbyn from Weatheraction, a company specialising in long range weather forecasting, disagrees.
He claims that solar charged particles impact us far more than is currently accepted, so much so he says that they are almost entirely responsible for what happens to global temperatures.
He is so excited by what he has discovered that he plans to tell the international scientific community at a conference in London at the end of the month.
If proved correct, this could revolutionise the whole subject.
Ocean cycles
What is really interesting at the moment is what is happening to our oceans. They are the Earth's great heat stores.
According to research conducted by Professor Don Easterbrook from Western Washington University last November, the oceans and global temperatures are correlated.
The oceans, he says, have a cycle in which they warm and cool cyclically. The most important one is the Pacific decadal oscillation (PDO).
For much of the 1980s and 1990s, it was in a positive cycle, that means warmer than average. And observations have revealed that global temperatures were warm too.
But in the last few years it has been losing its warmth and has recently started to cool down.
These cycles in the past have lasted for nearly 30 years.
So could global temperatures follow? The global cooling from 1945 to 1977 coincided with one of these cold Pacific cycles.
Professor Easterbrook says: "The PDO cool mode has replaced the warm mode in the Pacific Ocean, virtually assuring us of about 30 years of global cooling."
So what does it all mean? Climate change sceptics argue that this is evidence that they have been right all along.
They say there are so many other natural causes for warming and cooling, that even if man is warming the planet, it is a small part compared with nature.
But those scientists who are equally passionate about man's influence on global warming argue that their science is solid.
The UK Met Office's Hadley Centre, responsible for future climate predictions, says it incorporates solar variation and ocean cycles into its climate models, and that they are nothing new.
In fact, the centre says they are just two of the whole host of known factors that influence global temperatures - all of which are accounted for by its models.
In addition, say Met Office scientists, temperatures have never increased in a straight line, and there will always be periods of slower warming, or even temporary cooling.
What is crucial, they say, is the long-term trend in global temperatures. And that, according to the Met office data, is clearly up.
To confuse the issue even further, last month Mojib Latif, a member of the IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) says that we may indeed be in a period of cooling worldwide temperatures that could last another 10-20 years.
Professor Latif is based at the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences at Kiel University in Germany and is one of the world's top climate modellers.
But he makes it clear that he has not become a sceptic; he believes that this cooling will be temporary, before the overwhelming force of man-made global warming reasserts itself.
So what can we expect in the next few years?
Both sides have very different forecasts. The Met Office says that warming is set to resume quickly and strongly.
It predicts that from 2010 to 2015 at least half the years will be hotter than the current hottest year on record (1998).
Sceptics disagree. They insist it is unlikely that temperatures will reach the dizzy heights of 1998 until 2030 at the earliest. It is possible, they say, that because of ocean and solar cycles a period of global cooling is more likely.
One thing is for sure. It seems the debate about what is causing global warming is far from over. Indeed some would say it is hotting up.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8299079.stm
Sunday, October 11, 2009
H T
Happy Thanksgiving!
Being happy does not make it Thanksgiving...but being thankful does have the added benefit of making one happy.
Being happy does not make it Thanksgiving...but being thankful does have the added benefit of making one happy.
Friday, October 9, 2009
updating...updating...updating...
If you have a date with an angel, are you updating?
Huh...makes you wonder, don't it?
Okay. Enuff of that! Makes my head hurt, all that thinking and stuff.
So, sitting here, alone and bored, so I decided I might as well jump with both cyber-feet back into my online persona that I have avoided for the most part for quite some time.
All this is meaning...
That I have updates recent updates (and/or signs of user activity) at
http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/
and
http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
and even at
http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/
so feel free to check them out!
In fact, check them out as often as you like! I plan on being on them, adding more stuff and talking the talk, more than ever!
Hey! It's what I do! I write, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm cute! That's all I have going for me, so might as well use it, right!? Shake it if ya got it, right ladies?!
Hey, I am so serious, that I even have plans to do a little updating over at
http://benevolent-kingdom.blogspot.com/
when I get the time to do so.
See ya on the internet, folks!
Huh...makes you wonder, don't it?
Okay. Enuff of that! Makes my head hurt, all that thinking and stuff.
So, sitting here, alone and bored, so I decided I might as well jump with both cyber-feet back into my online persona that I have avoided for the most part for quite some time.
All this is meaning...
That I have updates recent updates (and/or signs of user activity) at
http://leplaunpoetree.blogspot.com/
and
http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/
and even at
http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/
so feel free to check them out!
In fact, check them out as often as you like! I plan on being on them, adding more stuff and talking the talk, more than ever!
Hey! It's what I do! I write, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm cute! That's all I have going for me, so might as well use it, right!? Shake it if ya got it, right ladies?!
Hey, I am so serious, that I even have plans to do a little updating over at
http://benevolent-kingdom.blogspot.com/
when I get the time to do so.
See ya on the internet, folks!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
HB Sig
Happy 60th birthday to actress Sigourney Weaver, one of the first truly heroic female action stars (see the Alien series of films).
Why Is This Important?
...
Hero.
One word, meaning so much.
The dictionary defines the term “hero” in these ways;
- A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.
- A person noted for special achievement in a particular field.
- The principal (usually male) character in a novel, poem, or dramatic presentation.
- A man of exceptional courage, nobility, etc.
- A man who is idealized for having superior qualities in any field.
- A man distinguished by exceptional courage and nobility and strength.
- A person who inspires others through courage, strength, bravery, and self-sacrifice.
- Someone who fights for a cause, and/or cares for and protects persons or property.
- Person of great strength and courage celebrated for bold exploits.
- Principle male character.
- A man or boy admired (by many people) for his brave deeds.
Within the heart of every man, lurks the hidden desire to be a hero.
I truly believe that.
That is why we all seek out and recognize heroes, and emulate them and try to be like them. It is why so many men like sports, ladies, in case you did not know that.
When I was a youngster, my heroes were super. I enjoyed comic book heroes, those larger-than-life men and women who stood tall and bravely fought injustice.
The men and women of Alpha Flight were my heroes. In a medium dominated by American heroes, as a Canadian boy it was a real treat to have a group of heroes who were solely Canadian, who protected this great nation from threats from within and without. These were some of my greatest heroes as an impressionable young man.
Years later, I find that these same heroes have been disrespected, killed off, and coldly put out to pasture, without nary a thought for the youngsters of today who need these unique Canadian superheroes to help them discover their love for their nation and that spark within themselves that could cause them to one day blossom into real-life heroes.
That thought saddens me, and angers me. It makes me wish that I could do something about it. I wish I could bring back the heroes that the youth of today so desperately need.
Last year, I found a way, for maybe the first time in my life, to be a hero myself. I felt like a hero. There was a special young lady, and she needed me; she needed my help. She listened to me, and I both supported her faithfully in her hard times and helped her to realize what she needed in her life. Things were going amazing. I poured my heart and soul into this person and this situation – I expended everything that I had within me, trying to make a lasting difference in the life of this special lady.
As with all stories, this one had an ending, and one that was less than satisfying. Suffice it to say, I was plunged into a black abyss from which only a real live Canadian superhero could have rescued me – but there were none. I had to crawl out of that hole, all by myself.
It hasn’t been easy; it hasn’t been fun. I am still not too sure that I am completely out of there yet. It has been the toughest year of my life. And I really do not know how I feel about a lot of things anymore. My world got turned upside down and inside out. I gave everything, for the right reasons; I was self-sacrificing to a degree I had never even known was possible.
In a few short months, I went from feeling heroic, to wishing I were dead. It was a year that I will never forget; it was the best few months of my life, followed by a year that was the worst I have ever experienced. And, strange as it may sound, I know that given the choice, I would do it all again.
Sometimes, being a hero means letting yourself get hurt.
I wish the people at Marvel Comics realized that. Maybe if they did, they would return Alpha Flight to their rightful place of prominence. Instead of thinking that they won’t make money from publishing it, maybe they could see it through the eyes of those most affected by it back when they were publishing it. Maybe they would then take a short-term loss, in order to bring back to the children the type of heroes that they need to inspire them.
Because now, now I am left without any heroes. This explains why I am searching so desperately to be one, but without any success. I have now experienced, just a little bit, what it feels like to be a hero, what it does within a person; and I want that rush again.
I want to risk it all, for the right reasons. I want to sacrifice, and risk getting hurt. I’ve done it before. And so has Alpha Flight.
It is time we both did it again, I think.
Hero.
One word, meaning so much.
The dictionary defines the term “hero” in these ways;
- A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.
- A person noted for special achievement in a particular field.
- The principal (usually male) character in a novel, poem, or dramatic presentation.
- A man of exceptional courage, nobility, etc.
- A man who is idealized for having superior qualities in any field.
- A man distinguished by exceptional courage and nobility and strength.
- A person who inspires others through courage, strength, bravery, and self-sacrifice.
- Someone who fights for a cause, and/or cares for and protects persons or property.
- Person of great strength and courage celebrated for bold exploits.
- Principle male character.
- A man or boy admired (by many people) for his brave deeds.
Within the heart of every man, lurks the hidden desire to be a hero.
I truly believe that.
That is why we all seek out and recognize heroes, and emulate them and try to be like them. It is why so many men like sports, ladies, in case you did not know that.
When I was a youngster, my heroes were super. I enjoyed comic book heroes, those larger-than-life men and women who stood tall and bravely fought injustice.
The men and women of Alpha Flight were my heroes. In a medium dominated by American heroes, as a Canadian boy it was a real treat to have a group of heroes who were solely Canadian, who protected this great nation from threats from within and without. These were some of my greatest heroes as an impressionable young man.
Years later, I find that these same heroes have been disrespected, killed off, and coldly put out to pasture, without nary a thought for the youngsters of today who need these unique Canadian superheroes to help them discover their love for their nation and that spark within themselves that could cause them to one day blossom into real-life heroes.
That thought saddens me, and angers me. It makes me wish that I could do something about it. I wish I could bring back the heroes that the youth of today so desperately need.
Last year, I found a way, for maybe the first time in my life, to be a hero myself. I felt like a hero. There was a special young lady, and she needed me; she needed my help. She listened to me, and I both supported her faithfully in her hard times and helped her to realize what she needed in her life. Things were going amazing. I poured my heart and soul into this person and this situation – I expended everything that I had within me, trying to make a lasting difference in the life of this special lady.
As with all stories, this one had an ending, and one that was less than satisfying. Suffice it to say, I was plunged into a black abyss from which only a real live Canadian superhero could have rescued me – but there were none. I had to crawl out of that hole, all by myself.
It hasn’t been easy; it hasn’t been fun. I am still not too sure that I am completely out of there yet. It has been the toughest year of my life. And I really do not know how I feel about a lot of things anymore. My world got turned upside down and inside out. I gave everything, for the right reasons; I was self-sacrificing to a degree I had never even known was possible.
In a few short months, I went from feeling heroic, to wishing I were dead. It was a year that I will never forget; it was the best few months of my life, followed by a year that was the worst I have ever experienced. And, strange as it may sound, I know that given the choice, I would do it all again.
Sometimes, being a hero means letting yourself get hurt.
I wish the people at Marvel Comics realized that. Maybe if they did, they would return Alpha Flight to their rightful place of prominence. Instead of thinking that they won’t make money from publishing it, maybe they could see it through the eyes of those most affected by it back when they were publishing it. Maybe they would then take a short-term loss, in order to bring back to the children the type of heroes that they need to inspire them.
Because now, now I am left without any heroes. This explains why I am searching so desperately to be one, but without any success. I have now experienced, just a little bit, what it feels like to be a hero, what it does within a person; and I want that rush again.
I want to risk it all, for the right reasons. I want to sacrifice, and risk getting hurt. I’ve done it before. And so has Alpha Flight.
It is time we both did it again, I think.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Knot Thinking
Not too many people expect that a heavy metal band will (can, should, would, does) write songs that have deep personal meanings behind them.
They'd be wrong.
Megadeth is one such band. Yes, I said Megadeth. Like their music or not, the lyrics written by frontman and founder Dave Mustaine can be quite amazing, from his songs dealing with his years of drug abuse (he actually literally died two or three times during overdoses earlier in his life and had to have his heart restarted by paramedics), to songs dealing with his family break-up, to his life as a young teen living on the streets on his own, and finally to his conversion to Christianity and his strong beliefs in the days of wrath coming under the rule of the anti-christ, Dave Mustaine is a man of strong beliefs and convictions who very much feels things deeply and passionately.
I present here one such song, from their 1994 album entitled Youthanasia. This song, to me at this time, sings out hard about the frustrations and questions that I, and so many others that I know as well, seem to have about life. Mr Mustaine, you speak for many of us, and I thank you.
“I Thought I Knew It All” by Megadeth
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why things go like they do
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why some things just fall through
We don’t always see them
For what they really are
But I know there’s a reason
Just can’t see it from this far
Maybe I don’t like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why things don’t go my way
Somewhere there’s a reason
That I cannot explain
Just like the change of season
Just may not be my turn
But I know there’s a reason
The lesson’s mine to learn
Maybe I don’t like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Or, as I see it: "I know there’s a Reason, Just can’t see it from this far", and "I know that somewhere, Someone hears my voice"
God is out there. He holds the answers. He has not forgotten, nor has He failed.
Stay strong, people, and trust God, for His goodness endures forever.
They'd be wrong.
Megadeth is one such band. Yes, I said Megadeth. Like their music or not, the lyrics written by frontman and founder Dave Mustaine can be quite amazing, from his songs dealing with his years of drug abuse (he actually literally died two or three times during overdoses earlier in his life and had to have his heart restarted by paramedics), to songs dealing with his family break-up, to his life as a young teen living on the streets on his own, and finally to his conversion to Christianity and his strong beliefs in the days of wrath coming under the rule of the anti-christ, Dave Mustaine is a man of strong beliefs and convictions who very much feels things deeply and passionately.
I present here one such song, from their 1994 album entitled Youthanasia. This song, to me at this time, sings out hard about the frustrations and questions that I, and so many others that I know as well, seem to have about life. Mr Mustaine, you speak for many of us, and I thank you.
“I Thought I Knew It All” by Megadeth
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why things go like they do
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why some things just fall through
We don’t always see them
For what they really are
But I know there’s a reason
Just can’t see it from this far
Maybe I don’t like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Somewhere there’s a reason
Why things don’t go my way
Somewhere there’s a reason
That I cannot explain
Just like the change of season
Just may not be my turn
But I know there’s a reason
The lesson’s mine to learn
Maybe I don’t like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Or, as I see it: "I know there’s a Reason, Just can’t see it from this far", and "I know that somewhere, Someone hears my voice"
God is out there. He holds the answers. He has not forgotten, nor has He failed.
Stay strong, people, and trust God, for His goodness endures forever.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
123-lmnop
(Couldn't think of a title for this post...)
I was just thinking. And I think that the greatest prayer that somebody could pray for another person, is this; "Lord, let them not be satisfied with anything that isn't You." Can you even begin to imagine how praying a prayer like that over the ones you love could absolutely change their lives? Does any prayer say "I love you and I care about you" more than that one?
Hey, I was just thinking, as i was driving home. Driving, singing worship songs and being touched by God; out of nowhere, that thought pops into my head. Perhaps this is a prayer that I am supposed to pray over others? Perhaps I should start praying it; perhaps I might even put myself into that list of people to pray that over. "Lord, do not let me be satisfied with anything in this life that is not You. Draw me to You in love, fill me and consume me until all that matters to me is You."
Yes, i was out driving at this time of night. I popped by work just after midnight, after making a trip thru the Timmy's drive-thru for my first Timmy's coffee since last Saturday ("withdrawals! withdrawals!"). I sat and gabbed with the three people on-shift for a while. Good times, nice to have somebody to talk to after being completely alone for the last 4 days. Then I left work and went to Denny's for a quick meal. No matter what time you eat it, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Then back home, where i am now blogging on my computer (go figure...)!
Okay, that is it for now. Really enjoyed watching Season 4 of Lost on DVD the other day. An Awesome show, best writing I have ever seen in a tv drama series. Love it. I watched 13 hour-long episodes in 36 hours. Then I watched the DVD Extras. It was all good.
Been playing some computer hockey games (NHL 2004), plus I mad eup my list for the annual Kingsway Foursquare Church hockey pool, which i then emailed to Dairn in Burnaby. The draft for the pool is on Saturday. I am looking to reclaim my title this year. Two years ago I won it all, last year I finished second-last I think...
NHL hockey starts Thursday, I am so excited. I do not go back to work until Sunday, so I have lots of time to watch a bunch of games before then.
Also, I think Friday I am taking mom and dad out for lunch and visiting. I may be helping my first wife with her taxes after that, depending how she is feeling.
That is all that I can think of for now. Ta-ta, all!
lyrics to Consuming Fire by Tim Hughes
There must be more than this
Oh breath of God come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for You
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to Your praise
Lord let Your glory fall
Lord let Your glory fall
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us
Can you possibly imagine, even for a millisecond, what it would be like to have God leave you abandoned to His praise? I can't. But I'd like to experience that. Wouldn't you?
I was just thinking. And I think that the greatest prayer that somebody could pray for another person, is this; "Lord, let them not be satisfied with anything that isn't You." Can you even begin to imagine how praying a prayer like that over the ones you love could absolutely change their lives? Does any prayer say "I love you and I care about you" more than that one?
Hey, I was just thinking, as i was driving home. Driving, singing worship songs and being touched by God; out of nowhere, that thought pops into my head. Perhaps this is a prayer that I am supposed to pray over others? Perhaps I should start praying it; perhaps I might even put myself into that list of people to pray that over. "Lord, do not let me be satisfied with anything in this life that is not You. Draw me to You in love, fill me and consume me until all that matters to me is You."
Yes, i was out driving at this time of night. I popped by work just after midnight, after making a trip thru the Timmy's drive-thru for my first Timmy's coffee since last Saturday ("withdrawals! withdrawals!"). I sat and gabbed with the three people on-shift for a while. Good times, nice to have somebody to talk to after being completely alone for the last 4 days. Then I left work and went to Denny's for a quick meal. No matter what time you eat it, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Then back home, where i am now blogging on my computer (go figure...)!
Okay, that is it for now. Really enjoyed watching Season 4 of Lost on DVD the other day. An Awesome show, best writing I have ever seen in a tv drama series. Love it. I watched 13 hour-long episodes in 36 hours. Then I watched the DVD Extras. It was all good.
Been playing some computer hockey games (NHL 2004), plus I mad eup my list for the annual Kingsway Foursquare Church hockey pool, which i then emailed to Dairn in Burnaby. The draft for the pool is on Saturday. I am looking to reclaim my title this year. Two years ago I won it all, last year I finished second-last I think...
NHL hockey starts Thursday, I am so excited. I do not go back to work until Sunday, so I have lots of time to watch a bunch of games before then.
Also, I think Friday I am taking mom and dad out for lunch and visiting. I may be helping my first wife with her taxes after that, depending how she is feeling.
That is all that I can think of for now. Ta-ta, all!
lyrics to Consuming Fire by Tim Hughes
There must be more than this
Oh breath of God come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for You
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to Your praise
Lord let Your glory fall
Lord let Your glory fall
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for Your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way
With us
Can you possibly imagine, even for a millisecond, what it would be like to have God leave you abandoned to His praise? I can't. But I'd like to experience that. Wouldn't you?
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