Thursday, December 31, 2009

HNY

Happy New Year.

I am praying that my next year is more people-oriented than this last one was. I find myself being more 'lonely' than normal lately.

I think it is about time I met someone. I hope God agrees.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

10

I hate liars. I hate being lied to. And I hate being made a fool of. I also hate being played, through lies and manipulations. I hate it when people try to destroy you through falsehoods.

This explains why 2008 was such a horrible year for me. It should also explain why I have taken the entirety of 2009 off from people, just stuck with myself (because I can be honest with myself) for the most part.

And I have great expectations, that 2010 will show me that there are people out there that are worth trusting, because they are truthful and they are real.

I cannot take another year of getting burned.

Realistically, I also cannot take another year of staying by myself, either...

I have found happiness and contentment in the last year...but I have nobody to share it with, nobody to share ME with. That is sad, because that means that somebody out there is missing out on the blessing that is me!

Let's hear it for 2010; my breakout party.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Ankle

Okay, so i twisted my ankle on December 6th 2009.

Here are photos from December 7th.











From December 9th.



From December 14th.







From December 15th.







Today is now December 18th. My top of my foot, my ankle, and around my ankle bones on either side of my foot, are all still somewhat swollen. I've iced it, and that has helped bring some of the swelling down. All the ugly red bruising is still there, and it is tender to the touch. Hard to beleive that I had no pain from this, isn't it? God is good.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

...with a twist...

I twisted my ankle 8 and a half days ago.

I do not heal very quickly anymore. Although 90% of the swelling has disappeared, my right ankle is still a LOT bigger than my left one. As the swelling recedes, the ugly bruises are showing through. All down the outside of my foot, and around my anklebone area. That was two days ago. Still have those bruises, but now they have been joined by bruising on my toes as well. Not just normal-type bruises, but angry dark red bruises.

I will hopefully get around to posting a few photos soon...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

hero-need

I don’t want to be a cowboy. But I do want to be a hero.

Perhaps this “hero-need” is what drives my fascination with certain things, like - Action movies with a clearly-defined heroic male lead, the rough and tough guys who can manage to handle any bad situation thrown at them, and save not just themselves but those in need around them. Or comic-book superheroes, those blessed with great powers or abilities and who use them to fight injustice. And especially, fantasy-based video games...

Really, there is no greater thrill for me, than to feel a connect ion with a character who you propel through their “life”, making their moral choices for them, choosing their dialogue and interactions, and using their physical abilities to overcome great odds to be a hero on behalf of the downtrodden and needy who cannot protect themselves.

It is more than a desire, it is a NEED. Perhaps this need is more powerful within me, after having failed so many times, in so many opportunities, to be that hero in my life to somebody else. In both of my marriages, in spite of the fact that I truly believe that I am a “nice guy”, I failed to be a lasting hero figure to my spouses. I also had a “close friendship” in the last few years that I ended up failing miserably with, much to my chagrin and internal pain. So, having failed at this important part of my life too many times, I reach out to find other ways to self-soothe my pain and distress, trying to find ways to pump up that fragmented hero portion within myself. Mind you, for all the times that I have failed at being a hero, how often have I recollected the times that, to somebody else, I WAS a hero? Perhaps that is part of the problem; that I only remember the times I failed, and not at all the times that I succeeded...

So, I pour myself into video games. I choose fantasy-based games, and I go about creating a character that is perhaps part of my own deep-seated desires to be a hero, and part of my character is perhaps quite literally part of my character; that is to say, perhaps in the creation process (and, as children of God, what is more natural for us than to create?) I actually infuse my video-character with elements of my own real character (or what I envision my own character to be, anyways).

Then, I walk my character through the video-world, choosing situations that can enlarge my heroic persona. It is funny, but I NEVER play an evil character. It goes against what I am, what I stand for. I long for a life in which your good morality, together with your compassion and your physical fitness, would in and of itself allow you to be a hero if you so desire. But it does not exist, at least not in the “real” world.


So, I recently finished playing Neverwinter Nights 2, which was a totally awesome game, just as good (if not slightly better) than the original Neverwinter Nights. Now, I have moved on to playing Dragon Age: Origins. I was originally a little hesitant about this game, there was some nervousness that it might be too hard or difficult for me, as I am NOT a professional gamer; indeed, my very slow reaction time means I refuse to play any “real time” strategy games, I only play games where you can pause battles and give out commands to your party members one turn at a time. Anyways...Dragon Age: Origins is an awesome game. Seriously, out of all the fantasy video games that I have played, this looks like totally the best one ever. The graphics are incredible, the facial details are amazing. The way that you can control the destiny of your character...man! The choices that your character can make, in every conversation, is almost limitless, and each choice leads you down a path to yet more choices that you unlock through the choices you have already made. Plus, you have a choice of about 12 different character backgrounds to choose from, and depending on which one you choose, the game-play is completely different than if you had chosen another background. The length, breadth, and scope of this game, is beyond my imagination to conceive of. All in all, it is beautiful, a thing of true beauty.

For those of you who are interested in these things, you can read all about my adventures in various video-game worlds at my fantasy-game blog site at http://ward-of-gorion.blogspot.com/

There, you can see me wax poetic about my very favourite video game of all time, Baldur’s Gate. As well, you can click on the various links and read my day-by-day adventures in games such as Icewind Dale, Neverwinter Nights 2, and now, Dragon Age: Origins. Unfortunately for all reading this, at that blog I will proboably never mention the world's greatest coffee shop, Tim Horton's. Sorry 'bout that; get your daily fix by actually going to Timmy's and buying yourself a great coffee (and pick me up one too! XL, 2 cream! Thanx!).

In real life, I am well aware that moral goodness and physical strength do not make a person into a hero, the rescuer of thousands who is adored forever. That is just not reality. We, as people, can do little things that help us feel heroic, but can never truly be “heroes” in the broader and more grandiose use of the term. Nevertheless, I am blessed to have a close friendship with The Hero, Jesus Christ, and by serving under His kingly banner I can support and be on the side of The Hero, the only hero this world will ever need. This is a good time to mention, that playing these sorts of games, actually helps one understand a lot better how Kingdom principles work. Nowadays, we no longer have kings and kingdoms, we either have dictators or democracies. Because of that, most people do not understand how a kingdom works, the relationships that must exist between the King and His people, and how ambassadors of the King must act and present themselves. But, playing games (and reading books, etcetera) that operate under the principles of a kingdom help me to understand this better.

And another point to mention here is that no hero can rescue or save someone who does not desire to be rescued or saved. Even God Himself understands and must abide by that truth. As much as you try to help another, if the sin of pride keeps them from wanting your help, then you cannot help them, try as you might. I have ran into this truth (head-on at a dead run, usually) many times in my life. The faster you are going at the time, and the more determined you are to save the person, the more it hurts when you hit that wall and fall flat. The last time it happened to me, it sucked the air out of my lungs, and the very will-to-go-on out of my life; it made me want to die. I did not want to live in a world where people could choose to stay in their present conditions of poverty, abuse, hopelessness, and Godlessness, and where there was not one dang thing I could do about it, try as I might. It took years to recover enough to be able to pick myself up and move on. And it will take my entire life and more to totally recover from this hit to my very soul. And, here is the thing...as much as this hurt me, how much more must it hurt my King and my Lord, when He feels the pain from every single person who does not accept Him? Yet, He goes on, He does not give up. And that is why He is my Hero, why He is the One I trust to save me. Because He never quits, He never fails, and He never stops loving and acting in a loving manner towards me. And that is why Jesus Christ is my ultimate Hero.

In my gaming in Dragon Age: Origins, I was able to throw in a little bit of my love of comic book characters into it. My character has a marabi war-hound as a companion, a large dog the size of a small pony that only can be controlled by its one master. The first time that I see this war-hound, the game asked me to choose a name for it, that it would then be known by. My love of the Teen Titans animated television series led me to choose the superhero Cyborg’s rallying cry as a name for my pet; and thus, my marabi war-hound was dubbed “Booyah”.

Well, that is it for now. Ta-ta!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Al Gore's ClimateGate

(from the LA Times, December 4th, 2009)

Take Back Al Gore's Oscar, 2 Academy Members Demand In Light Of ClimateGate






No, it wouldn't do anything for the environment.

But two Hollywood conservatives (yes, there are some) have called upon the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to rescind the prestigious, profitable gold Oscar statuette that it gave ex-Vice President Al Gore et al two years ago for the environmental movie "An Inconvenient Truth."

Roger L. Simon and Lionel Chetwynd, both Academy members, are among a small, meandering pack of known political conservatives still believed to be on the loose in the liberal bastion of movie-making.

In 2007, Hollywood's Academy sanctified Gore's cinematic message of global warming with its famous statue, enriched his earnings by $100,000 per 85-minute appearance ( http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2007/07/more-on-gore.html ) and helped elevate the Tennesseean's profile to win the Nobel Peace Prize despite losing the election battle of 2000 to a Texan and living in a large house with lots of energy-driven appliances.

Chetwynd and Simon were prompted to make their hopeless demand this week by the....


...leak two weeks ago of a blizzard of British academic e-mails purporting to show that scientists at the University of East Anglia Climatic Research Unit systematically falsified data to document the appearance of global warming in recent years.

The university is reportedly investigating the claims, which added dry fuel to the never-ending political debate over whether the Earth really is warming as a result of human activity or if it's just normal natural cycles and the debate is what's heated. The demand to withdraw Gore's award provides yet another opportunity to argue.

The startling leak comes at an inconvenient time just before next week's United Nations' climate change meeting that will cause an immense carbon footprint with thousands of people flying up or over to Denmark to talk about saving the environment.

These airplanes will include Air Force One with its primary passenger President Obama, who's returning to the Copenhagen scene where he didn't help win the 2016 Summer Olympics for Chicago, which could do with a little global warming at this time of year.

Simon, a screenwriter who is also chief executive officer of Pajamas Media, a network of conservative online blogs, conceded he knew of no precedent for the Academy withdrawing a previously-awarded Oscar, despite decades of Hollywood hijinks and worse. But, he added, "I think they should rescind this one."

The controversial leaked documents have been assembled here by Pajamas Media ( http://www.climate-gate.org/ ) and the Competitive Enterprise Institute. The joint demand by Simon and filmmaker Chetwynd is available on video here ( http://www.pjtv.com/video/Poliwood/Climategate_Hits_Hollywood%3A_Should_the_Academy_Rescind_Gore%27s_Oscar%3F/2780/;jsessionid=abcowwO-8vPzC5mPVAyvs ).

The television news-watching world in America has not learned much about the so-called Climategate scandal because it has not really been mentioned on the air except for a notorious cable news channel named for a three-lettered, wily, wild animal that often seems to revel in debunking liberal shibbeloths.

Network news programs have been far more concerned with the obviously more important White House party-crasher story involving a couple of formally-dressed phonies.

The falsified documents do not come up in Gore interview excerpts published late last night here ( http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1209/30063.html ) by Politico's John F. Harris and Mike Allen.

This week White House Press Secy. Robert Gibbs claimed that global warming was no longer in dispute by most people. But a subsequent Rasmussen Reports poll ( http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/current_events/environment_energy/americans_skeptical_of_science_behind_global_warming ) of Americans finds only one in four adults believe most scientists agree on the topic.

And while only 20% claim to have followed the leaked e-mail story Very Closely, nearly 60% believe it is at least somewhat likely that scientists have falsified environmental data to support their own global warming beliefs and theories.


-- Andrew Malcolm

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Higher Learning

Something I wrote up a few days ago during some downtime at work, but forgot about until now...




Some things in life that I have learned lately...

There is no grey. There is absolute truth, and there is absolute right and absolute wrong.

That being said, when it comes to dealing with people, there is no black and white. Because, quite simply, it is impossible to judge a person or a situation involving people without literally being the person you are attempting to judge. What looks black or white from the inside, may look entirely different when you are the person involved.

God is the only Judge, so stop trying to figure everything out. Being willing to stop and smile and relax, to let go and let God, this is the best way to live life. Live life to the fullest, and live it well by living it for God. Concentrate on loving God and spending time with Him, and allow others the freedom to do as they choose (and they'll answer to God if need be, but not to you).

Let others work out their own walk with God. Work on your own walk. Don’t judge, just accept others, and love others.

Don’t point fingers at others, because God does not point fingers at you. You are only forgiven, because Jesus paid the price you could not. It wasn’t anything you did, so stop comparing yourself to others (or others to you).

The harder that you try to understand people (and situations), the more screwed up you will get. The trick is to stop trying to understand things; understanding is just another word for controlling. My job is to love God, and to show love to others; let God be in control, He is much more qualified than I am.

"Aloneness" and "Loneliness" are too completely different things; neither of them are good for a person, long-term. Interestingly enough, a person can be alone and yet not lonely, and a person can also be lonely and yet not alone.

One of the most important things that you can give away, is grace. If you give grace to others, it means that you accept them where they are at on their journey (and we are all on a journey, aren’t we?). You do not judge them, because God is the only One Who can judge. We accept them and love them, not based on what they have or have not done, but based on the fact that God loves them, plain and simple. Giving people grace, means you can allow them to fall, allow them to fail, because quite frankly you recognize that God is not finished with them yet so they are allowed to be imperfect (just like you are).

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

you are being duped

Click the below link to watch a short (4 minute) video blog by Glenn Beck. Glenn exposes the fraud that is global warming, using real emails sent by top scientists (who nicely admit to lying to you, faking the data, and say that the earth is cooling right now and not warming at all). Honestly, just watch it! Is 4 minutes of your life going to be wasted doing nothing, or are you going to spend 4 minutes getting some truth?

http://www.glennbeck.com/content/videos/?uri=channels/338017/667734