When you can love yourself and accept yourself for who you are, then you can love and accept other people just as they are, without expecting them to change to suit you.
Unfortunately, many of us face a conumdrum when it comes to love. When we fall in love, we eventually start to feel that we need the other person to complete us. Once we come to this place, trouble looms ahead. We lose our sense of self, in getting so wrapped up in another. Then we start to make internal demands on the other person in order to make us happy and complete-feeling. We have ceased to love and accept ourselves, as we are, in our need for the other person, and thus we begin to lose the ability to love and accept others just as they are.
The trick is, to find a way to keep feeling good about yourself as an independant person, while in a relationship with another. Keep your own sense of self, and you will be able to love yourself and then give love to others out of the overflow of that good self-love.
Also, in love, fear is not a good motivator. the best motivator in love, is love.
From a man's point of view, fear of losing a relationship does not strengthen a relationship, it tears it apart. Fear brings mistrust, panic, and upheaval. Of all these, trust will be the hardest to regain. Once a man legitimately fears that a relationship might end, how can he ever trust again? He will have to live with the fear that he may lose this relationship at any time, that it is truly beyond his control. This causes huge trust issues with his partner.
If you want to motivate a man to do better in a relationship, ladies, then love him more. Make him feel safe, not petrified with fear. Fear kills love, because fear is the opposite of love.
Once fear of loss is injected into a relationship, it is doomed.
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