Heads

I blogged earlier about heads rolling, God surgically striking with precision and cutting off the head.

I thought this was a word from God about something, but it ended up being about something else entirely.

The head came off, all right. But the head that had to be severed by God, was MINE. The head that God needed to cut off was MY WILL.

Do i still have a will of my own? Of course i do. I still have dreams, i still have wishes, i still have emotions.

But, does my will really matter to God? In a sense, no, and in a sense, yes. See, my will matters ot God, only in that it is subjected to His will.

In a nutshell, to put this in me-speak, I have learned that I suck. I am the one who gets in the way of God having His will in my life, and His blessings flowing to me.

Life is not about me; it is about Him. God doesn't want me to get the glory in life, He wants to use my life to bring glory to Himself.

The lessons that I am learning, they burn and sear the heart, they try the spirit. God talks about throwing our works on the fire, and seeing what burns up and what is left. Right now, in my life, not much is left.

I am trying to count it as a blessing that God is allowing me to realize this. I guess it is because He wants to use me. Truly, I am the last person God should be desiring to use!

There is a quote I have been using a lot lately, about hottest fires being used to temper the finest steel, or something to that effect.

I am just starting to realize just how hot the holy fire of God in a person's life is...


I will go through this, Lord, and I will come out as more of a servant to You than when I went in. But...please do not let me go through this alone, Lord...I have prayed that once before in my life, Lord, and You answered my prayer. Please do so again...I need that good woman to support me in this!