toooooday

As I meander my way through this life, I keep coming back to the same basic thought: I don’t know enough, nor will I ever.

I am like a ball in a pinball game too often, I cannot seem to control my own destiny very well, and it is only by getting whacked with a flipper that I actually get anywhere. I spend much more time trying to stay alive than I do reaching out to try to get a high score.

How could I possibly know what I need to know about even myself, let alone about others?

It is easy enough to see when somebody is doing something wrong. But it is much harder to see when they are doing some things right, or what their motivation is for what they do, or to truly understand how somebody feels and thinks and reasons and chooses. Can’t be done. As humans, we can never understand another person in that way.

It is no wonder that God tells us not to judge others.

To anyone who has felt judged, shamed, picked on, or turned off by anything that I have said, wrote, done, acted, or inferred; please accept my apologies. Sometimes, I do things because I am hurt, and I lash out. Sometimes, I just am too narrow-sighted to see enough of the big picture. And sometimes, sometimes I am just not Godly enough. Mostly, though, I do believe that I wish to spare people pain. Unfortunately, as we all find out in life, we have to learn from both our successes and failures in life, and we have to live our lives our way, nobody can do it for us.

So, my apologies.

Unfortunately, I will not always be in this sort of mood; within mere moments, I may resort back to the ‘other me’, the less-sensitive one, and hurt somebody again. Because that is what I do; I am human, therefore I hurt (within, and I hurt others). That is why I need God; He is much more than human.

Happy July 1st holiday, everybody. I love you all.