Cheers? and The Faith Card

"Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got;
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot."

I need a break, so i am taking one.

No, not a bar break for a few drinks (actually, i havent' had a drink in three months).


I am taking a break from believing. From striving. From caring. From being involved. I am taking a break from the way my life has been for the last 6 months (crappy!), and doing something different.

I passed tired a few months ago. The struggle to remain un-bitter has been a tough one, and i fear that i may lose it eventually. I am so far past bone-weary...i dunno. All the fight has gone out of me. I just do not care anymore.

I do not understand anything anymore. That has been my mantra now for the last 6 months. Despite spending huge amounts of time with God, with seeking His face, with striving to remain faithful in everything...I STILL do not know anything! Not...one...thing.

Nohing has happened. My life has remained static. I have remained in a rut, when i thought i was on a highway. Apparently, "getting nowhere" should have been my first clue that i was on a wrong road. But, God kept telling me to have faith. I mean, He was telling me DAILY to have faith!

Okay, so, i am not God, and I really should think better of giving Him advice, but...if somebody is asking for direction, and they are belieivng for something that is NOT what You want them to have, then wouldn't it be a good idea to NOT use that same time to teach them about having faith? Isn't that counter-productive, and really very confusing?

Sorry, Lord. Somehow, i recognize that You must be right. I just am not sure how, right now.

Anyways, yeah. Taking a break. Trying something new. What is the "something new" that i am trying? I call it "anything but what i have been doing for the last 6 months"...



The faith card is a dangerous card to play.

It trumps everything else.

It is wonderful and beautiful and scriptural to have faith in God. First, faith is the vehicle of our salvation. But more than that, it is important to have faith in Who God IS; that He is a good God Who loves us and desires to bless us immensely. This kind of faith is good for every believer, and we should all have it.

But, when we transfer our faith from God, to something that we want…here is where we enter a danger zone.

Even if you truly believe God has told you that you will get something, that He will bring it to you and it is yours…make sure you hold tightly to the first type of faith we have discussed – faith in Who God is. Once you transfer that faith, and make it “God will do___, and I have faith that He will”…well…potential problems arise.

Did God really say it? Are you sure? Could you possibly be misunderstanding it? Are your emotions wrapped up in this thing/person/event that you want God to bring you? Do you know what God’s timeline is for this thing? One day? Two weeks? Ten years?

Look, I am not bitter. Really, I am not, and I pray daily that I do not grow to be bitter. I am not mad at God. For the most part, I am not mad at myself. I followed what I believed God told me, and I grew in faith from that, despite never seeing what I thought God had told me was mine to have. God stood by me, because I was following what I believed He had said to me. That is awesome. God is good.

But, once you wave that faith card around, look out! Because nobody can argue with somebody who has faith. No reasonable argument or explanation will ever overpower the faith card. In short, if you play that card at the wrong time, in the wrong manner…even God cannot get through to you to tell you that you are in error. Be prepared for your life to turn upside down when you play the faith card…and be well aware that you may never see anything out of it.

My advice? Even when you have faith, question God and yourself CONSTANTLY. Make sure that WHAT you have faith in, is exactly the thing you should have faith in. If you are off, even by a smidge…your life could be headed for disaster.

I do not blame God. I do not blame myself. I learned through this time, and grew close to God.

Now, I just pray that God directs my life to where He wants it to go. And, I will have faith in WHO He IS, and that He will bless me as He sees fit.

Jesus’ peace be with you all. And for those who supported me, thank you. I still need your support. God bless you for everything you have done for me. Peace out.