gut-check time

Somebody who takes the time to get to know you and understands you – somebody who believes in you and wants the very best for you, and will work to make your life a better place – somebody who both accepts you as you are with all your faults and differences, and also gently leads you towards making your own changes to yourself that will benefit you – somebody who wants to spend time with you, and trusts you enough to not only give you of their precious time (because life is short, and time passes too quickly) but also to open up their heart and their dreams and their fears to you – that’s love.

God, please open up my heart to be able to love again. I think I have locked myself up pretty tight. Lord, I have seen You bring people into my life before to benefit me and for me to give into their lives as well; I know You not only do these things, but You actually do them for me, I’ve seen and experienced it. So Lord, help me to get past, past the pain and hurt of rejection and shattered dreams, past the scars on my emotions, past the fears of being hurt again, past the memories that tie me to my past and keep me from my future, past my inferiorities that have only been fed by everything that has happened to me this decade of my life, and past the loss of a sense of destiny.

No, no, that isn’t true – I haven’t lost my sense of destiny, I have just had it hitched to the wrong person, and I need for You to unhitch it, Lord, and re-hitch it to the right person. God, please help me – please complete the healing of my heart, so that I do not miss out on that beautiful woman that You have for me. I want to be healed, so that I am fully capable of giving to her in every way possible.

Please heal me, God, so that You can use me. I want to love again.

I want to love again. This time, I won’t fail.