Friday, September 3, 2010

Transitions

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Transitions. In life, we often go through Transition periods.



During these times, it is much like being in an airplane that is going down; things seem hectic, emotional. Stuff gets tossed about. We feel sick. We worry, about what we haven't done, and about what we have done.



Things get lost in Transition periods, never to be found again. Things get purposely left behind. People change, and come and go. We get hurt, we grow sad.



During these Transition periods, there is also a time of Faith. There must be belief that something is coming along, something different, life-altering.



I hope, and pray, that I am, right now, going through a time of Transition. Over the last few months and years, I have slowly watched pretty much everything I hold dear get washed out to sea with the tide; and I have never seen any of it again. Things have been taken from me, and some things I have had to voluntarily let go of. Doesn't matter which way it happens, by choice or not, it hurts.



If I had to sum up my past three or four years of life, I would choose the word "pain". That descriptive word would be closely followed by "loss". Throw in the word "grief", too.

I am not trying to be melodramatic here, just making a point.

So, yes, I hope and I pray that I am going through Transition. And I hope and I pray that the change, the life-altering moment, is just around the corner for me. I do not feel that I have much left to lose anymore.

Oh, I could lose some more from my life; but, it would probably result in my death, one way or another. I cannot survive on less friends, less money, less love, less direction, less comfort, or less companionship than I have right now. I am scraping the bottom of my barrel, and I do not have anything left to give or to lose.

I need Change, with a capital C. And I need it yesterday.

I need to have my life altered, for the better.

I need hope, hope that I have had trouble finding in a long time.

I need a Life.

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