More Thoughts

Acceptance.

There is nothing more important to me in relationships, than acceptance.

I require acceptance. I crave acceptance. I need acceptance - without acceptance, there is only death.

All my relationships, in all of them, the one crucial question is; "do you accept me for who I am?"

If the answer is "no"...then i cannot be around you.

In my work, i work with somebody (she isn't really my boss, she just thinks she is) who accepts nobody. Everybody falls short fo what she wants them to be, so she berates everybody for failing to live up to her impossible standards. If God Himself stood before her, she probably would try to judge Him too and find Him lacking (but as a believer, i know that would never happen - the only thing to hit the floor before her forehead would be her knees).

I can't stand people like that. I do not hate them, i just cannot waste my time on them. People like that, resist change, resist God, resist life and reality. They suck the life out of everybody, if you let them.

My 2nd wife, she was like that. I have no hatred towards her, and i wish her well. But she had impossible inner standards that she judged everybody by. It killed me, it stole my joy. After five and a half years, it made it easy(er) to let her go and move on.

I need people who accept me. I need people who see me for who i am, and for who God says that i am, and who love me for being me.

That has to be something my next sweetie has. Okay, Lord?




I was listening to Tim Hughes' "When Silence Falls" on the way home from work a bit ago.

"I've had questions without answers, I've known sorrow and I have known pain...
But I will praise You, Jesus praise You..."

As I look back over the last year or so of my life, i am amazed at the amount of answerless questions I have had. Things that i realize, i will never get an answer to. In the end, i have had to just say, 'okay God, I get it - You do not have to give me the answers to my questions, as long as You give me You.'

Life is not about answers. Life is about Jesus.
So, when the tears fall, Jesus will be the song within my heart.
When the sorrow overcomes me, when the pain seems too much to bear, when the questions have no answer, the only answer is "But i will praise You, Jesus praise You..."

That is the only Answer that i need.

Thank You, Lord, for accepting me just as I am, and loving me enough to never quit working within me.

I will praise You.