"I dream of a world without shadows, and I dream of a day without pain
I long for perpetual motion, and I dream of living again
Every time I try to climb the mountain
Nothing in the world can pull me down
I'm not afraid!
Let the sky become an ocean, pull me in above my head
Won't deny my one devotion, lose or win cos I'm not scared"
- From Threshold's "Oceanbound"
Not much happening. Spent a weekend with my daughter, which was good. Almost my mom's birthday, which I now have to work on. Got to visit with my boss (while he is on holidays), and I am encouraged for the days ahead in my workplace. Spending time playing Dragon Age 2, which is very epic.
That's it for now. Toodles!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
another attack, foiled by faith - frustrated enemy beats head against wall
As the blatant attacks against me and my stand for righteousness in my workplace ramp up (yet again!), I will hold onto this scripture...
Nehemiah 4:15 "Our enemies found out that we knew about their plot against us, but God kept them from doing what they had planned. So we went back to work on the wall."
Works for me! Thanx God!
Nehemiah 4:15 "Our enemies found out that we knew about their plot against us, but God kept them from doing what they had planned. So we went back to work on the wall."
Works for me! Thanx God!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
stuff
Hi there!
Lots of stuff going on in my life lately, so I thought I would catch you all up.
Had another interview in kelowna on Friday, with a different place than last time. It seems to have gone really well, and with the expansion they are undergoing they need to hire two or three more people within the next few months. It seems promising, so we will wait and see what God does for me. But I am getting pretty excited. It looks like that move to Kelowna will be coming soon.
I'm also excited about Alpha Flight, Canada's only superhero team, coming back to comic books this Spring, that is huge in life as i have an Alpha Flight blog that I do, plus I am part of the boards at alphaflight.net .
Was playing a lot of Baldur's Gate, then i switched to Baldur's Gate 2 and have almost completed that, which is tonnes of fun. I also downloaded the demo (beta) version of Dragon Age 2, which is INCREDIBLE! Can't wait until the full version comes out, in March i do beleive.
I am also excited about the Thor movie coming out soon, as well as X-Men First Class which I think comes out in June.
Everything in life is bright and cheerful; God, You are great!
Lots of stuff going on in my life lately, so I thought I would catch you all up.
Had another interview in kelowna on Friday, with a different place than last time. It seems to have gone really well, and with the expansion they are undergoing they need to hire two or three more people within the next few months. It seems promising, so we will wait and see what God does for me. But I am getting pretty excited. It looks like that move to Kelowna will be coming soon.
I'm also excited about Alpha Flight, Canada's only superhero team, coming back to comic books this Spring, that is huge in life as i have an Alpha Flight blog that I do, plus I am part of the boards at alphaflight.net .
Was playing a lot of Baldur's Gate, then i switched to Baldur's Gate 2 and have almost completed that, which is tonnes of fun. I also downloaded the demo (beta) version of Dragon Age 2, which is INCREDIBLE! Can't wait until the full version comes out, in March i do beleive.
I am also excited about the Thor movie coming out soon, as well as X-Men First Class which I think comes out in June.
Everything in life is bright and cheerful; God, You are great!
Friday, February 18, 2011
BG 2; adventures in
Playing Baldur’s Gate 2.
Started out with my character, Dredna Sweetstream, a female elf who is a Ranger (Chaotic Good), locked up in a strange torture prison. Imoen is there (the human female is now a Thief/Mage, Neutral Good), and joins me in my escape, along with Minsc (the human male Ranger, Chaotic Good)and Jaheira (the female half-elf is a True Neutral Fighter/Druid, as well as a member of the Harpers). We three battle to make good our escape from the powerful Mage who imprisoned and tortured us, one Jon Irenicus. Along the way, we discover that Jaheira’s husband Khalid has been tortured to death. Minsc, still mourning the loss of his witch, Dynaheir, tries to comfort her, but to no avail. Moving on, we meet up with another attempted escapee, the human male Bounty Hunter (True Neutral) known as Yoshimo.
Making good our escape at last form the evil underground lair, we find ourselves in the streets of a great city (Athkala) in the nation of Amn, South along the Sword Coast from Baldur’s Gate. Here, magic is outlawed, and magicians are locked up ‘somewhere unknown’ by the Cowled Wizards (ironic, ain’t it?). As we are in battle against Jon Irenicus, whose lair was caught up in a fight between rival ‘gangs’ (the Shadow Thieves versus the Vampires), the Cowled Wizards show up and take away Irenicus and Imoen, leaving the rest of us just standing there.
Nobody seems to know where Imoen can be found, or how to rescue her. We find a circus tent under an evil enchantment and save its inhabitants, and thus we let Aerie (a female Avariel Elf, a Lawful Good Cleric/Mage) join with us. She is a winged elf who has lost her wings, but still has a very bright disposition.
Off to the Slums area of town, to the Copper Coronet, where we rest, and then ditch Yoshimo, who nobody trusts. Dredna, Minsc, Jaheira, and Aerie are joined by Korgan, a male Berserker Dwarf (Chaotic Evil). We meet up with a guy, who tells us he can contact an organization that will help us get Imoen back, but it’ll cost us 20,000 gold pieces. We agree, reluctantly.
Back to the Copper Coronet, where we take up with Nalia, a human female (Neutral Good) Mage/Thief. She is from a rich castle far out of the city walls that has been overtaken, and wishes us to rescue her family and her castle. We agree, and travel there, only to discover that she hasn’t told us that it was taken over by Trolls! We fight our way through the Trolls, but in the end she discovers her father dead. Without a male heir, she loses the castle, so she continues to travel with us.
Having earned some money, we get into a few minor skirmishes in the city that help us out. A messenger tells us to talk to that guy again, who tells us the price has dropped to 15,000 gold pieces, which we currently have, so we meet with him, and he says that the Shadow Thieves are on the case, we should go talk to their second-in-command, Renal Bloodscalp, in the docks district.
Renal Bloodscalp has us running and doing many tasks for him, after which we are given a key that lets us in to see Arin Lindvale, who is in charge of the Shadow Thieves, who assures us a plan is underway to free Imoen. In the meantime, would we please do these tasks for him?
As part of all these ridiculous tasks, we infiltrate a sect of the Shadow Thieves that is led by a man who is not very nice; indeed, he is trying to take over the operation, as we are told by none other than the mage Edwin (who then tries to join us, but we decide to turn him down for now). Minsc wants to kill him outright, of course. Once we have this information, we take it back to Arin, who tells us to wipe out this guy and his thugs. Just before the battle starts, Minsc tells Aerie that he desires for her to be his new witch, and she agrees. Oh, Minsc is so happy! And then, in the ensuing battle, Aerie is killed…and, being the cold bastard that I am, I decide she can stay dead.
We then save Viconia, the female Drow Elf Cleric (Neutral Evil), from being burned at the stake, and she joins with us. Meanwhile, still a few more tasks to perform for Arin before he will help us get Imoen back!
Korgan is starting to bitch and grumble, and now we are looking to ditch him for somebody else as well.
Oh yeah, the evil (and crazed) wizard Xzar is also hanging out at the docks, and he says his little buddy Montaron has been captured by the Harpers, who are torturing him, and he wants to join with us and trash the Harpers and rescue the little Thief/Fighter Halfling. We said, ‘pass’. He still mutters at us every time we traipse past him.
Also, Jaheira got cursed by a guy who used to be a slaver who she exposed and ruined in her travels as a Harper, and said curse was quickly killing her. We managed to locate the home of the dude, and we got into battle with him and a couple of wizards. After killing them, we gained back a locket of Jaheira’s hair, which allowed the curse to be lifted and she was alright again.
We then find a group of theater players staying in an inn where they are performing. They are all ‘odd’, and we later find out it is because they are from a different plane of existence and are on the run from bounties hunters for something they did there. In the meantime, we agree to help them find one of their missing troupe, Haer’Dalis, who has been taken hostage why trying to recover a gemstone from an evil wizard in the sewers. Down to the sewers we go, to defeat said evil wizard and his hench-things. Haer’Dalis, who is a Bard and a nifty swordsperson, wishes to join us, so we ditch Korgan and accept him into our group. Korgan wishes to go up top and wait for us in the Copper Coronet, should we decide that we do want him after all, but we convince him to stay here in this hole-in-the-wall in the sewers and wait instead. Snicker snicker.
We head back to the theater group for our reward, and they come clean with us about who they are (‘they’ including Haer’Dalis), and that the gemstone wasn’t actually there’s, but is used to power a portal between the planes so they can escape as the bounty-hunters are getting too close to them again. They open up the portal, but a bounty hunter comes through, and next thing we know they have all disappeared into the portal (Haer’Dalis included, leaving our party short again).
A quick vote, and we follow them, ending up in an astral prison, from which apparently there is no escape. Well, we set the prisoners free,and then kill the jailor and the guards, and Haer’Dalis asks to join us full-time, which we agree to.
Back on our own plane, for shits-and-giggles we decide to take Xzar up on his quest to rescue Montaron from the Harpers. We are allowed into the Harpers’ HQ, but are warned to not go up to the second floor. After finding a necklace that, when worn, allows us to pass by the spectral guards on the top floor, we explore it, finding that it looks like the Harpers have turned Montaron into a bird. We take the bird and leave, presenting it to Xzar, who turns it back into a person through his spells…only it isn’t Montaron, it is a Harper assassin with a poisoned dagger who kills Xzar, then warns us to stay out of Harper business and tries to walk away – out of a sense of old loyalties to Xzar, we kill her.
We go back to the Shadow Thieves HQ to talk with Arin Lindvale, who assures us that if we go to the GraveYards and down underneath them and deal with Bodhi, the leader of the Vampires that have been hounding them (and us), that he will then get Imoen released to us. We grumble, but we agree.
Back outside, Jaheira is called away briefly on Harper business. We wait at the nearest inn, and she is back the next day, telling us that the leader of the harpers in this area, a man she does not particularly like, is asking to see me, and she strongly advises me to go and see this man; if I don’t, she can no longer travel with me.
At Harpers HQ, this man asks me about my heritage as a Bhaaal-spawn (prodigy of the lord of murder), and seems to have judged me before I even got here, as no matter what I answer he finds fault with it, which angers Jaheira to no end. Finally, he says that he will enspell me, and place me in a coffin deep within the earth so that I can never be a threat to anyone ever. Jaheira freaks out, as do I, and our party of six adventurers destroys the assembled Harpers.
Down under the Graveyard district, we defeat a bunch of Vampires (not an easy chore!); their leader, Bodhi, battles us for a while, but is much stronger than we and seems to be merely toying with us. Bodhi reveals that she has been working with Irenicus, and that she is just testing me. She even tells me that I “have ignored what is going on with Imoen right in front of my eyes”, or something to that effect. We battle her with renewed fervour, but she just laughs and leaves in a puff of smoke, telling us that maybe we shouldn’t trust the Shadow Thieves after all…
Arin Lindvale is not happy when we accuse him of holding out on us, but then admits that he has done just that. He says it was the Shadow Thieves who attacked the dangerous Jon Irenicus, and that when we walked away from the underground lair and were the only ones to do so, he had us closely watched to see whose side we were truly on. Arin tells us Irenicus is very powerful and very dangerous (which we really already had guessed). He then tells us that Imoen has been taken to Spellhold, an island prison for mages and troublemakers that the Cowled Wizards set up a long time ago. He has booked us passage on a boat, with Captain Saemon, to get there; it is about a 7 day sail. As this Captain may be an unscrupulous pirate, he also sends with us a Shadow Thief named Sime; her job is to stand by the Captain with a drawn dagger and make sure we arrive safely.
Arrive safely we do, but are immediately attacked by vampire son the pier, an ambush set up by Saemon, who runs off during the fighting. Sime advises us to look around the town of Brynnlaw and try to find a way to enter the Asylum (or prison, if you prefer).
So, here is the group at this point;
First…Dredna Sweetstream, a Level 11 Ranger, Chaotic Good, Female, Elf.
Strength=18, Dexterity=17, Constitution=17, Intelligence=9, Wisdom=15, Charisma=18.
She has a -5 Armour Class, and wields two swords, Namarra +2, and the Sword of Flame +1.
Second…Minsc, a Level 11 Ranger (and his giant miniature space hamster Boo!), Chaotic Good, Male, Human.
Strength=21, Dexterity=18, Constitution=16, Intelligence=8, Wisdom=6, Charisma=9.
Minsc has a -6 Armour Class; he uses the two-handed Sword of Chaos +2 (which used to belong to Dredna’s half-brother, Sarevok), and for long-distance fighting he wields the Strong Arm + 2 longbow.
Third…Jaheira, a Level 9 Fighter and a Level 12 Druid, True-Neutral, Female, Half-Elf. She is also a member of the Harpers.
Strength=18, Dexterity=17, Constitution=17, Intelligence=10, Wisdom=14, Charisma=15.
Jaheira has a -8 Armour Class, she uses the Staff Mace and a Sling +2.
Fourth…Viconia, a Level 11 Cleric, Neutral Evil, Female, Drow Elf.
Strength=25, Dexterity=19, Constitution=8, Intelligence=16, Wisdom=18, Charisma=15.
Viconia has a -8 Armour Class, and she wields the Dwarven-forged war hammer Crom Faeyr, as well as a Sling +1.
Fifth…Haer’Dalis, a Level 12 Blade (sub-category of a Bard), Chaotic Neutral, Male , Tiefling.
Strength=19, Dexterity=17, Constitution=9, Intelligence=15, Wisdom=13, Charisma=16.
Haer’Dalis uses two short swords, one in either hand; they are named Entropy and the Chaos Blade.
Sixth…Nalia, a Level 4 Thief and a Level 12 Mage, Chaotic Good, Female, Human.
Strength=21, Dexterity=18, Constitution=16, Intelligence=17, Wisdom=9, Charisma=13.
Nalia was a Thief who gave up that career to become a Mage, so she no longer advances levels as a Thief. She uses the short sword Cutthroat +4, and the Short Bow of Gesen (a magical bow that fires lightning bolts).
Started out with my character, Dredna Sweetstream, a female elf who is a Ranger (Chaotic Good), locked up in a strange torture prison. Imoen is there (the human female is now a Thief/Mage, Neutral Good), and joins me in my escape, along with Minsc (the human male Ranger, Chaotic Good)and Jaheira (the female half-elf is a True Neutral Fighter/Druid, as well as a member of the Harpers). We three battle to make good our escape from the powerful Mage who imprisoned and tortured us, one Jon Irenicus. Along the way, we discover that Jaheira’s husband Khalid has been tortured to death. Minsc, still mourning the loss of his witch, Dynaheir, tries to comfort her, but to no avail. Moving on, we meet up with another attempted escapee, the human male Bounty Hunter (True Neutral) known as Yoshimo.
Making good our escape at last form the evil underground lair, we find ourselves in the streets of a great city (Athkala) in the nation of Amn, South along the Sword Coast from Baldur’s Gate. Here, magic is outlawed, and magicians are locked up ‘somewhere unknown’ by the Cowled Wizards (ironic, ain’t it?). As we are in battle against Jon Irenicus, whose lair was caught up in a fight between rival ‘gangs’ (the Shadow Thieves versus the Vampires), the Cowled Wizards show up and take away Irenicus and Imoen, leaving the rest of us just standing there.
Nobody seems to know where Imoen can be found, or how to rescue her. We find a circus tent under an evil enchantment and save its inhabitants, and thus we let Aerie (a female Avariel Elf, a Lawful Good Cleric/Mage) join with us. She is a winged elf who has lost her wings, but still has a very bright disposition.
Off to the Slums area of town, to the Copper Coronet, where we rest, and then ditch Yoshimo, who nobody trusts. Dredna, Minsc, Jaheira, and Aerie are joined by Korgan, a male Berserker Dwarf (Chaotic Evil). We meet up with a guy, who tells us he can contact an organization that will help us get Imoen back, but it’ll cost us 20,000 gold pieces. We agree, reluctantly.
Back to the Copper Coronet, where we take up with Nalia, a human female (Neutral Good) Mage/Thief. She is from a rich castle far out of the city walls that has been overtaken, and wishes us to rescue her family and her castle. We agree, and travel there, only to discover that she hasn’t told us that it was taken over by Trolls! We fight our way through the Trolls, but in the end she discovers her father dead. Without a male heir, she loses the castle, so she continues to travel with us.
Having earned some money, we get into a few minor skirmishes in the city that help us out. A messenger tells us to talk to that guy again, who tells us the price has dropped to 15,000 gold pieces, which we currently have, so we meet with him, and he says that the Shadow Thieves are on the case, we should go talk to their second-in-command, Renal Bloodscalp, in the docks district.
Renal Bloodscalp has us running and doing many tasks for him, after which we are given a key that lets us in to see Arin Lindvale, who is in charge of the Shadow Thieves, who assures us a plan is underway to free Imoen. In the meantime, would we please do these tasks for him?
As part of all these ridiculous tasks, we infiltrate a sect of the Shadow Thieves that is led by a man who is not very nice; indeed, he is trying to take over the operation, as we are told by none other than the mage Edwin (who then tries to join us, but we decide to turn him down for now). Minsc wants to kill him outright, of course. Once we have this information, we take it back to Arin, who tells us to wipe out this guy and his thugs. Just before the battle starts, Minsc tells Aerie that he desires for her to be his new witch, and she agrees. Oh, Minsc is so happy! And then, in the ensuing battle, Aerie is killed…and, being the cold bastard that I am, I decide she can stay dead.
We then save Viconia, the female Drow Elf Cleric (Neutral Evil), from being burned at the stake, and she joins with us. Meanwhile, still a few more tasks to perform for Arin before he will help us get Imoen back!
Korgan is starting to bitch and grumble, and now we are looking to ditch him for somebody else as well.
Oh yeah, the evil (and crazed) wizard Xzar is also hanging out at the docks, and he says his little buddy Montaron has been captured by the Harpers, who are torturing him, and he wants to join with us and trash the Harpers and rescue the little Thief/Fighter Halfling. We said, ‘pass’. He still mutters at us every time we traipse past him.
Also, Jaheira got cursed by a guy who used to be a slaver who she exposed and ruined in her travels as a Harper, and said curse was quickly killing her. We managed to locate the home of the dude, and we got into battle with him and a couple of wizards. After killing them, we gained back a locket of Jaheira’s hair, which allowed the curse to be lifted and she was alright again.
We then find a group of theater players staying in an inn where they are performing. They are all ‘odd’, and we later find out it is because they are from a different plane of existence and are on the run from bounties hunters for something they did there. In the meantime, we agree to help them find one of their missing troupe, Haer’Dalis, who has been taken hostage why trying to recover a gemstone from an evil wizard in the sewers. Down to the sewers we go, to defeat said evil wizard and his hench-things. Haer’Dalis, who is a Bard and a nifty swordsperson, wishes to join us, so we ditch Korgan and accept him into our group. Korgan wishes to go up top and wait for us in the Copper Coronet, should we decide that we do want him after all, but we convince him to stay here in this hole-in-the-wall in the sewers and wait instead. Snicker snicker.
We head back to the theater group for our reward, and they come clean with us about who they are (‘they’ including Haer’Dalis), and that the gemstone wasn’t actually there’s, but is used to power a portal between the planes so they can escape as the bounty-hunters are getting too close to them again. They open up the portal, but a bounty hunter comes through, and next thing we know they have all disappeared into the portal (Haer’Dalis included, leaving our party short again).
A quick vote, and we follow them, ending up in an astral prison, from which apparently there is no escape. Well, we set the prisoners free,and then kill the jailor and the guards, and Haer’Dalis asks to join us full-time, which we agree to.
Back on our own plane, for shits-and-giggles we decide to take Xzar up on his quest to rescue Montaron from the Harpers. We are allowed into the Harpers’ HQ, but are warned to not go up to the second floor. After finding a necklace that, when worn, allows us to pass by the spectral guards on the top floor, we explore it, finding that it looks like the Harpers have turned Montaron into a bird. We take the bird and leave, presenting it to Xzar, who turns it back into a person through his spells…only it isn’t Montaron, it is a Harper assassin with a poisoned dagger who kills Xzar, then warns us to stay out of Harper business and tries to walk away – out of a sense of old loyalties to Xzar, we kill her.
We go back to the Shadow Thieves HQ to talk with Arin Lindvale, who assures us that if we go to the GraveYards and down underneath them and deal with Bodhi, the leader of the Vampires that have been hounding them (and us), that he will then get Imoen released to us. We grumble, but we agree.
Back outside, Jaheira is called away briefly on Harper business. We wait at the nearest inn, and she is back the next day, telling us that the leader of the harpers in this area, a man she does not particularly like, is asking to see me, and she strongly advises me to go and see this man; if I don’t, she can no longer travel with me.
At Harpers HQ, this man asks me about my heritage as a Bhaaal-spawn (prodigy of the lord of murder), and seems to have judged me before I even got here, as no matter what I answer he finds fault with it, which angers Jaheira to no end. Finally, he says that he will enspell me, and place me in a coffin deep within the earth so that I can never be a threat to anyone ever. Jaheira freaks out, as do I, and our party of six adventurers destroys the assembled Harpers.
Down under the Graveyard district, we defeat a bunch of Vampires (not an easy chore!); their leader, Bodhi, battles us for a while, but is much stronger than we and seems to be merely toying with us. Bodhi reveals that she has been working with Irenicus, and that she is just testing me. She even tells me that I “have ignored what is going on with Imoen right in front of my eyes”, or something to that effect. We battle her with renewed fervour, but she just laughs and leaves in a puff of smoke, telling us that maybe we shouldn’t trust the Shadow Thieves after all…
Arin Lindvale is not happy when we accuse him of holding out on us, but then admits that he has done just that. He says it was the Shadow Thieves who attacked the dangerous Jon Irenicus, and that when we walked away from the underground lair and were the only ones to do so, he had us closely watched to see whose side we were truly on. Arin tells us Irenicus is very powerful and very dangerous (which we really already had guessed). He then tells us that Imoen has been taken to Spellhold, an island prison for mages and troublemakers that the Cowled Wizards set up a long time ago. He has booked us passage on a boat, with Captain Saemon, to get there; it is about a 7 day sail. As this Captain may be an unscrupulous pirate, he also sends with us a Shadow Thief named Sime; her job is to stand by the Captain with a drawn dagger and make sure we arrive safely.
Arrive safely we do, but are immediately attacked by vampire son the pier, an ambush set up by Saemon, who runs off during the fighting. Sime advises us to look around the town of Brynnlaw and try to find a way to enter the Asylum (or prison, if you prefer).
So, here is the group at this point;
First…Dredna Sweetstream, a Level 11 Ranger, Chaotic Good, Female, Elf.
Strength=18, Dexterity=17, Constitution=17, Intelligence=9, Wisdom=15, Charisma=18.
She has a -5 Armour Class, and wields two swords, Namarra +2, and the Sword of Flame +1.
Second…Minsc, a Level 11 Ranger (and his giant miniature space hamster Boo!), Chaotic Good, Male, Human.
Strength=21, Dexterity=18, Constitution=16, Intelligence=8, Wisdom=6, Charisma=9.
Minsc has a -6 Armour Class; he uses the two-handed Sword of Chaos +2 (which used to belong to Dredna’s half-brother, Sarevok), and for long-distance fighting he wields the Strong Arm + 2 longbow.
Third…Jaheira, a Level 9 Fighter and a Level 12 Druid, True-Neutral, Female, Half-Elf. She is also a member of the Harpers.
Strength=18, Dexterity=17, Constitution=17, Intelligence=10, Wisdom=14, Charisma=15.
Jaheira has a -8 Armour Class, she uses the Staff Mace and a Sling +2.
Fourth…Viconia, a Level 11 Cleric, Neutral Evil, Female, Drow Elf.
Strength=25, Dexterity=19, Constitution=8, Intelligence=16, Wisdom=18, Charisma=15.
Viconia has a -8 Armour Class, and she wields the Dwarven-forged war hammer Crom Faeyr, as well as a Sling +1.
Fifth…Haer’Dalis, a Level 12 Blade (sub-category of a Bard), Chaotic Neutral, Male , Tiefling.
Strength=19, Dexterity=17, Constitution=9, Intelligence=15, Wisdom=13, Charisma=16.
Haer’Dalis uses two short swords, one in either hand; they are named Entropy and the Chaos Blade.
Sixth…Nalia, a Level 4 Thief and a Level 12 Mage, Chaotic Good, Female, Human.
Strength=21, Dexterity=18, Constitution=16, Intelligence=17, Wisdom=9, Charisma=13.
Nalia was a Thief who gave up that career to become a Mage, so she no longer advances levels as a Thief. She uses the short sword Cutthroat +4, and the Short Bow of Gesen (a magical bow that fires lightning bolts).
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Sex
.
.
.
.
.
Sex changes everything.
That statement is neither a condemnation of what can be a wonderful act shared between two people, nor is it an attempt to absolve the way we treat sex with such contempt in our society, having made it into something either dirty or something inconsequential.
It merely is a statement of fact. Almost everyone on this earth is affected in some way, usually in many ways, by sex. Sex changes lives, changes world-views; sex is or can be both a blessing and a curse, sometimes at the same time. It can be our greatest need, or our greatest fear.
It very seldom is what it was intended to be, which is most of the problem with it. At its core, it was intended to be a pleasurable sharing between two people, one male and female, who were (wedded) attached for life in a significant and lifelong relationship, with the secondary purpose of the passing on of genetic material to give life to future generations.
Nowadays, sex is everywhere. Sex is on television, in print ads, on the internet, in books and magazines, in clothes, in cars…is there much of anything you can buy, without being influenced by an advertisement that in some way uses sex to sell its product? Sex is in the mall, at the hairdresser, at the car dealership, in the workplace, in the churches. Stop and think of this; like God’s love, where can you run and hide from sex?
Sex has become our greatest salesman. Add a dash of sex appeal, mix with humour or lust, and you have got a buyer’s frenzy.
Some people cannot get enough sex. Some people have had sex forced on them, and fear it (or misunderstand it, and misuse it in turn). But the truth is, none of us can escape its pull.
From (unfortunately too often) young children to senior citizens, almost not a day goes by where sex does not affect us in some way, like the moon affects the ocean’s tide.
Whether your thoughts on sex are pure as the new-fallen snow, or full of deviant desires not to be mentioned in the light of day, the plain fact is, sex rules our world, and it is here to stay.
The more I write of my online story, the more I find that I have to delve into the back-stories of the characters I am dealing with. And the more that I do that, the more that I find that the one driving and compelling force that shapes our lives right under our very noses, is indeed sex. As I’ve said, it affects us all. One little mishap, whether it be a good one or a not-so-good one, can affect the way we think, feel, and see for eternity. Journeying into some of these featurettes, gives my characters more strength and more 3-dimenionalism, as it shows the deep underlying roots of why they are and act the way they are and do.
It is…interesting…to me, if nothing else.
On another note completely, I am playing Baldur’s Gate through again, this time as an evilly-bent Fighter/Thief named Zezper Narttikulus. I have assembled a group of miscreants who see the world the same as I do, mainly Minsc (with the help of the helmet of alignment reversal) the Ranger, and Edwin the Conjurer, and Shar-Teel the Fighter, and Kivan the Ranger, and Viconia the Drow-Elf Cleric. Fun, fun, FUN!
.
.
.
.
Sex changes everything.
That statement is neither a condemnation of what can be a wonderful act shared between two people, nor is it an attempt to absolve the way we treat sex with such contempt in our society, having made it into something either dirty or something inconsequential.
It merely is a statement of fact. Almost everyone on this earth is affected in some way, usually in many ways, by sex. Sex changes lives, changes world-views; sex is or can be both a blessing and a curse, sometimes at the same time. It can be our greatest need, or our greatest fear.
It very seldom is what it was intended to be, which is most of the problem with it. At its core, it was intended to be a pleasurable sharing between two people, one male and female, who were (wedded) attached for life in a significant and lifelong relationship, with the secondary purpose of the passing on of genetic material to give life to future generations.
Nowadays, sex is everywhere. Sex is on television, in print ads, on the internet, in books and magazines, in clothes, in cars…is there much of anything you can buy, without being influenced by an advertisement that in some way uses sex to sell its product? Sex is in the mall, at the hairdresser, at the car dealership, in the workplace, in the churches. Stop and think of this; like God’s love, where can you run and hide from sex?
Sex has become our greatest salesman. Add a dash of sex appeal, mix with humour or lust, and you have got a buyer’s frenzy.
Some people cannot get enough sex. Some people have had sex forced on them, and fear it (or misunderstand it, and misuse it in turn). But the truth is, none of us can escape its pull.
From (unfortunately too often) young children to senior citizens, almost not a day goes by where sex does not affect us in some way, like the moon affects the ocean’s tide.
Whether your thoughts on sex are pure as the new-fallen snow, or full of deviant desires not to be mentioned in the light of day, the plain fact is, sex rules our world, and it is here to stay.
The more I write of my online story, the more I find that I have to delve into the back-stories of the characters I am dealing with. And the more that I do that, the more that I find that the one driving and compelling force that shapes our lives right under our very noses, is indeed sex. As I’ve said, it affects us all. One little mishap, whether it be a good one or a not-so-good one, can affect the way we think, feel, and see for eternity. Journeying into some of these featurettes, gives my characters more strength and more 3-dimenionalism, as it shows the deep underlying roots of why they are and act the way they are and do.
It is…interesting…to me, if nothing else.
On another note completely, I am playing Baldur’s Gate through again, this time as an evilly-bent Fighter/Thief named Zezper Narttikulus. I have assembled a group of miscreants who see the world the same as I do, mainly Minsc (with the help of the helmet of alignment reversal) the Ranger, and Edwin the Conjurer, and Shar-Teel the Fighter, and Kivan the Ranger, and Viconia the Drow-Elf Cleric. Fun, fun, FUN!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Baby Steps To The Father...
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A Step Behind by Joel Osteen
I talk to a lot of people who have lost hope in life. They are often grieving over past mistakes. They tell me they are sure they have messed up God’s plan so badly that they can never recover and experience God’s favour. On many occasions they have messed up – sometimes badly. But here’s a word of hope for you: God cares more about the next thing you do than the last thing you did. The people of Israel realized they had failed badly (Numbers 14:39 – When Moses reported the Lord’s words to all the Israelites, the people were filled with grief). But rather than accept God’s judgement and move forward in faith, they tried to undo their previous mistake by acting the very same way that had gotten them into trouble in the first place. They acted on their own rather than listening to God and obeying Him.
People who feel God is distant and unobtainable and people who feel God’s presence and intimacy have one thing in common. Both groups have failed and sinned. But those who continue to experience distance from God are people who conclude that since they have failed already, they might as well settle into failure for the long haul. Like the children of Israel, they continue on the same course rather than trusting God’s way, even if it includes correction and consequences.
Those who experience God’s presence and favour don’t live perfect lives, but they have learned how to respond when God points out their sins and mistakes. They humble themselves, ask for forgiveness, and move forward confident of God’s unlimited mercy. Our experiences in life’s wildernesses often depend on how closely we are determined to enjoy God’s fellowship.
.
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A Step Behind by Joel Osteen
I talk to a lot of people who have lost hope in life. They are often grieving over past mistakes. They tell me they are sure they have messed up God’s plan so badly that they can never recover and experience God’s favour. On many occasions they have messed up – sometimes badly. But here’s a word of hope for you: God cares more about the next thing you do than the last thing you did. The people of Israel realized they had failed badly (Numbers 14:39 – When Moses reported the Lord’s words to all the Israelites, the people were filled with grief). But rather than accept God’s judgement and move forward in faith, they tried to undo their previous mistake by acting the very same way that had gotten them into trouble in the first place. They acted on their own rather than listening to God and obeying Him.
People who feel God is distant and unobtainable and people who feel God’s presence and intimacy have one thing in common. Both groups have failed and sinned. But those who continue to experience distance from God are people who conclude that since they have failed already, they might as well settle into failure for the long haul. Like the children of Israel, they continue on the same course rather than trusting God’s way, even if it includes correction and consequences.
Those who experience God’s presence and favour don’t live perfect lives, but they have learned how to respond when God points out their sins and mistakes. They humble themselves, ask for forgiveness, and move forward confident of God’s unlimited mercy. Our experiences in life’s wildernesses often depend on how closely we are determined to enjoy God’s fellowship.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
5 days
In the last five (glorious, exciting) days...
- I have heard from one prospective employer in Kelowna via email, who wishes to meet with me on February the 11th.
- I dropped off a resume (and filled out an application) with another prospective employer in Kelowna, got to meet my prospective boss and talk with him, and have a distinct feeling he is interested in hiring me. He is going to talk to his Human Resources department on Monday, and get back to me.
- Learned that I have a potential "in" with a Christian lady who runs three apartment buildings in Kelowna.
- Got to see my parents' nice, new (to them) apartment.
- Went to my ex's and my daughter's place, to spend time with them, had some pizza and watched Critters 3 on DVD, helped them install Baldur's Gate on their computer.
- Started playing Baldur's Gate myself again; after leaving my game 6 weeks ago and not touching it since I am now back playing!
- Continue to feel that God is getting me to Kelowna, and soon. Blessings coming, doors opening, favor of God going before me. Thank You, Lord!
- I have heard from one prospective employer in Kelowna via email, who wishes to meet with me on February the 11th.
- I dropped off a resume (and filled out an application) with another prospective employer in Kelowna, got to meet my prospective boss and talk with him, and have a distinct feeling he is interested in hiring me. He is going to talk to his Human Resources department on Monday, and get back to me.
- Learned that I have a potential "in" with a Christian lady who runs three apartment buildings in Kelowna.
- Got to see my parents' nice, new (to them) apartment.
- Went to my ex's and my daughter's place, to spend time with them, had some pizza and watched Critters 3 on DVD, helped them install Baldur's Gate on their computer.
- Started playing Baldur's Gate myself again; after leaving my game 6 weeks ago and not touching it since I am now back playing!
- Continue to feel that God is getting me to Kelowna, and soon. Blessings coming, doors opening, favor of God going before me. Thank You, Lord!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Frumpy
frumpy - the art of being partly frustrated, and partly grumpy.
Right now, i do not know how else to describe how I feel right now. Partially calm...but also a bit like I want to weep?
At work, once again i am under attack. One person, let's call him"Simon" (cuz that's his name, maybe?), has accused me in writing of being a liar.
Am I? Of course not. In fact, all my reports, by law, have to proveable as correct and true by videotape evidence. Therefore, if it isn't true, i cannot say it. That's my job.
In an incident about fifteen days ago or more, "Simon" refused to follow company policy, as well as provinical government policy. Re-Fused. I could have reported him then and there. Instead, as I have had clashed with him before on the same thing (and been accused of having something against him personally after that, even though this is totally untrue and unfair), I took the more cautious approach. I documented everything that had occurred, and pulled aside all the video (and audio) evidence and saved it. I then phoned my boss and told him what was going on, and then left even more detailed notes for him about all this.
By law, I had to report that "Simon" had disobeyed the rules. That is in my job description; i have to. There are no other options. But, not wanting him and his co-horts (more on that later) to once again accuse me of having a 'personal vendetta' against "Simon", I waited. After five or six days, my other boss 9second in command) gave me the go-ahead to report this all. In fact, the report was opened and started by her, not me! I put in my information, as requested, being careful to only put proveable facts, no opinions allowed! I wa salso very careful not to point any fingers at "Simon"; very, very careful, although it was obvious that he was in the wrong.
But, "Simon" is an ex-cop, ex-RCMP. He know show to get people on his side, play up the fact that he was a cop, etcetera. Both of our last two General Managers have gotten behind him, and against me. Yup, this new one, too!
Our new GM came up to my department to view the video, and audio (which, by the way, is a breach of procedure right there! my boss was never even asked about this by the GM!), and left saying that it was a "mis-understanding between departments", which is always the first volley fired. Next will come, "personal vendetta", followed by "but 'Simon' was a cop!"
My boss, tonight, phoned the GM and gave him a piece of her mind, and told him to get "Simon" to write up why he did not follow procedures. "Simon's" official report, which was written after being sequestered away in the office with GM coaxing him on what to write, was basically to call me a liar, and say that i did not pass on to him the information that I said I did. He's blaming me, and calling me and my report a lie/liar. Both he and the GM are.
My bosses will support me, both of them will. But how can i effectively do my job, when people keep calling into question my morality and my ethics? They (GM/Simon, etc) are trying to slowly ruin my reputation, because i refuse to bow before them, becuz i refuse to compromise what is the truth.
Good thing God fights for me. Good thing i handled this one so gently and carefully, and gathered all my evidence and got my boss's approval before starting anything. Good thing I can look at this, and know that I am in the right, even if nobody else believes that.
I also have a witness to everything that happened during the original incident fifteen days ago or so. This witness has been kept out of it up until now, but can verify everything that i said and did that night. And nobody knows about her, outside of my department, which is a very good thing.
But it is still frustrating. Knowing you'll win the war, you still take a few dire beatings in the battle to get to the end result. And it hurts.
Right now, i do not know how else to describe how I feel right now. Partially calm...but also a bit like I want to weep?
At work, once again i am under attack. One person, let's call him"Simon" (cuz that's his name, maybe?), has accused me in writing of being a liar.
Am I? Of course not. In fact, all my reports, by law, have to proveable as correct and true by videotape evidence. Therefore, if it isn't true, i cannot say it. That's my job.
In an incident about fifteen days ago or more, "Simon" refused to follow company policy, as well as provinical government policy. Re-Fused. I could have reported him then and there. Instead, as I have had clashed with him before on the same thing (and been accused of having something against him personally after that, even though this is totally untrue and unfair), I took the more cautious approach. I documented everything that had occurred, and pulled aside all the video (and audio) evidence and saved it. I then phoned my boss and told him what was going on, and then left even more detailed notes for him about all this.
By law, I had to report that "Simon" had disobeyed the rules. That is in my job description; i have to. There are no other options. But, not wanting him and his co-horts (more on that later) to once again accuse me of having a 'personal vendetta' against "Simon", I waited. After five or six days, my other boss 9second in command) gave me the go-ahead to report this all. In fact, the report was opened and started by her, not me! I put in my information, as requested, being careful to only put proveable facts, no opinions allowed! I wa salso very careful not to point any fingers at "Simon"; very, very careful, although it was obvious that he was in the wrong.
But, "Simon" is an ex-cop, ex-RCMP. He know show to get people on his side, play up the fact that he was a cop, etcetera. Both of our last two General Managers have gotten behind him, and against me. Yup, this new one, too!
Our new GM came up to my department to view the video, and audio (which, by the way, is a breach of procedure right there! my boss was never even asked about this by the GM!), and left saying that it was a "mis-understanding between departments", which is always the first volley fired. Next will come, "personal vendetta", followed by "but 'Simon' was a cop!"
My boss, tonight, phoned the GM and gave him a piece of her mind, and told him to get "Simon" to write up why he did not follow procedures. "Simon's" official report, which was written after being sequestered away in the office with GM coaxing him on what to write, was basically to call me a liar, and say that i did not pass on to him the information that I said I did. He's blaming me, and calling me and my report a lie/liar. Both he and the GM are.
My bosses will support me, both of them will. But how can i effectively do my job, when people keep calling into question my morality and my ethics? They (GM/Simon, etc) are trying to slowly ruin my reputation, because i refuse to bow before them, becuz i refuse to compromise what is the truth.
Good thing God fights for me. Good thing i handled this one so gently and carefully, and gathered all my evidence and got my boss's approval before starting anything. Good thing I can look at this, and know that I am in the right, even if nobody else believes that.
I also have a witness to everything that happened during the original incident fifteen days ago or so. This witness has been kept out of it up until now, but can verify everything that i said and did that night. And nobody knows about her, outside of my department, which is a very good thing.
But it is still frustrating. Knowing you'll win the war, you still take a few dire beatings in the battle to get to the end result. And it hurts.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Me?
What is going on in my world?
I'm glad you asked!
Just finished playing Dungeon Siege (the first one) yesterday. A simple game, but highly enjoyable (like me!).
Need to work no my resume this week, as I plan to apply at another casino in Kelowna...
Very disappointed in the government. Specifically, the family mainenance portion of it. They were wanting to recalculate my child benefits that i pay. So, they requested a bunch of information by a certain date, and I faxed it all off to them the day before said date. Then i get a letter in the mail, informing me that SINCE I DID NOT GET THEM THE INFORMATION BY THE SAID DATE, they have filed without my tax information a court order, mandating my payments go up by ten percent. And the onyl way to fight it, is to file with the courts and go before the judge and argue it. How stupid is that!? I even have the fax receipt, proving that i faxed them 18 pages of documents, and on what day. They LIED. They lied about me, knowing i do not have the money to fight it in court.
It isn't the money that bothers me. Yes, i willl be overpaying slightly...but not enougbh to get upset about. What upsets me, is that the governemtn slandered me and lied about me to my face, knowing that i have proof that they are liars, and they didn't even care...they are just a bunch of bullies, and since my ex is on disabilitgy, all they care about is wringing every last penny out of me. Cheats, frauds, bullies. I pray that they DO NOT get what they deserve from God! Lord, bless them, cuz you said to bless my enemies...
Other than that, not much. 40th birthday went by, and I am STILL smiling. All is good. Life looks good.
See ya in the funny papers!
I'm glad you asked!
Just finished playing Dungeon Siege (the first one) yesterday. A simple game, but highly enjoyable (like me!).
Need to work no my resume this week, as I plan to apply at another casino in Kelowna...
Very disappointed in the government. Specifically, the family mainenance portion of it. They were wanting to recalculate my child benefits that i pay. So, they requested a bunch of information by a certain date, and I faxed it all off to them the day before said date. Then i get a letter in the mail, informing me that SINCE I DID NOT GET THEM THE INFORMATION BY THE SAID DATE, they have filed without my tax information a court order, mandating my payments go up by ten percent. And the onyl way to fight it, is to file with the courts and go before the judge and argue it. How stupid is that!? I even have the fax receipt, proving that i faxed them 18 pages of documents, and on what day. They LIED. They lied about me, knowing i do not have the money to fight it in court.
It isn't the money that bothers me. Yes, i willl be overpaying slightly...but not enougbh to get upset about. What upsets me, is that the governemtn slandered me and lied about me to my face, knowing that i have proof that they are liars, and they didn't even care...they are just a bunch of bullies, and since my ex is on disabilitgy, all they care about is wringing every last penny out of me. Cheats, frauds, bullies. I pray that they DO NOT get what they deserve from God! Lord, bless them, cuz you said to bless my enemies...
Other than that, not much. 40th birthday went by, and I am STILL smiling. All is good. Life looks good.
See ya in the funny papers!
Monday, January 10, 2011
What A Day
What a great day to be alive.
It’s January the 9th, 2011, as I write this. Tomorrow is my fortieth birthday – no worries.
This has been a great year so far, hasn’t it? I mean, here I am, turning forty, and I really do feel like my life is turning a corner; and not one of those winding-road-late-at-night-after-an-allnite-bender-party-crash-and-burn-type of corners, either.
Things are definitely looking up. I can feel it in my spirit. Revival. An awakening. Blessings.
On a day when many people would be depressed, faced with thoughts of their own mortality, I am in great spirits, having the time of my life; I feel like nothing can bring me down. My Facebook status for the last several days has been “Life begins at 40”, and I really feel like, for me, that is truth. Everything is optimism and sunshine for me. My future looks bright.
God is looking out for me. I am looking at getting completely out of debt this year, and for the first time in two or three years, I actually see the light at the end of tunnel, and I’m understanding that I actually CAN get out of debt this year – what a blessing that is! I am awaiting changes at work, whether it is where I work, or my job description, or my rate of pay, or my job title, or my hours; or maybe all of the above! I do not know WHAT is going to change, but something IS going to change, and it is all God doing it, not me, and I feel pre-blessed because of it. I’m looking very hard at changing towns, moving back to Kelowna this year, and feel like this is a move that I need to make, and I know that if God wants me in Kelowna, He will open a door and get me there. My daughter got baptized recently and has been showing a real interest in God, and that is a blessing so huge I cannot even describe it. Two days ago, my ex-wife and daughter took me out for a pre-birthday celebration, bought me dinner, watched a movie with me; what an incredibly great time I had! Just last night, I was chatting with a musician friend from Vancouver about his newest project while on Facebook, listening to his rough samples and encouraging him and giving him his just-deserved kudos. Plus, thanks to one of my online friends from the States, who has a successful website and who recently posted a link to one of my websites, more and more people are getting interested in what I am writing online, broadening my scope of influence and just totally encouraging me and making me feel important – how amazing is that!?!
I dunno; this feeling, it is greater than the sum of its parts. It’s…expectation. The held breath right before something truly amazing and wonderful happens. I feel…alive, without knowing why I do. I just feel loved, and blessed, and on the right path for the first time in a long time, and life is truly good. God is good, and God is good to me, and I love Him even more for it.
This is an amazing year so far, and this is an amazing day to live in. You know, the worse the world gets, the more evil it becomes, the more doom and gloom is out there, the more encouraged I am, the more I remember that all these things shall pass and God is returning soon for His people! Great days are ahead, don’t let your light go out while you are waiting! God is active and alive, and His Word predicts His second coming! Be encouraged; God is your Saviour, your friend, your counselor, your comforter, your God and your Lord. He is my all in all. I live in Him.
It’s January the 9th, 2011, as I write this. Tomorrow is my fortieth birthday – no worries.
This has been a great year so far, hasn’t it? I mean, here I am, turning forty, and I really do feel like my life is turning a corner; and not one of those winding-road-late-at-night-after-an-allnite-bender-party-crash-and-burn-type of corners, either.
Things are definitely looking up. I can feel it in my spirit. Revival. An awakening. Blessings.
On a day when many people would be depressed, faced with thoughts of their own mortality, I am in great spirits, having the time of my life; I feel like nothing can bring me down. My Facebook status for the last several days has been “Life begins at 40”, and I really feel like, for me, that is truth. Everything is optimism and sunshine for me. My future looks bright.
God is looking out for me. I am looking at getting completely out of debt this year, and for the first time in two or three years, I actually see the light at the end of tunnel, and I’m understanding that I actually CAN get out of debt this year – what a blessing that is! I am awaiting changes at work, whether it is where I work, or my job description, or my rate of pay, or my job title, or my hours; or maybe all of the above! I do not know WHAT is going to change, but something IS going to change, and it is all God doing it, not me, and I feel pre-blessed because of it. I’m looking very hard at changing towns, moving back to Kelowna this year, and feel like this is a move that I need to make, and I know that if God wants me in Kelowna, He will open a door and get me there. My daughter got baptized recently and has been showing a real interest in God, and that is a blessing so huge I cannot even describe it. Two days ago, my ex-wife and daughter took me out for a pre-birthday celebration, bought me dinner, watched a movie with me; what an incredibly great time I had! Just last night, I was chatting with a musician friend from Vancouver about his newest project while on Facebook, listening to his rough samples and encouraging him and giving him his just-deserved kudos. Plus, thanks to one of my online friends from the States, who has a successful website and who recently posted a link to one of my websites, more and more people are getting interested in what I am writing online, broadening my scope of influence and just totally encouraging me and making me feel important – how amazing is that!?!
I dunno; this feeling, it is greater than the sum of its parts. It’s…expectation. The held breath right before something truly amazing and wonderful happens. I feel…alive, without knowing why I do. I just feel loved, and blessed, and on the right path for the first time in a long time, and life is truly good. God is good, and God is good to me, and I love Him even more for it.
This is an amazing year so far, and this is an amazing day to live in. You know, the worse the world gets, the more evil it becomes, the more doom and gloom is out there, the more encouraged I am, the more I remember that all these things shall pass and God is returning soon for His people! Great days are ahead, don’t let your light go out while you are waiting! God is active and alive, and His Word predicts His second coming! Be encouraged; God is your Saviour, your friend, your counselor, your comforter, your God and your Lord. He is my all in all. I live in Him.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thanx!
Thanks to two of my favourite young ladies, for taking me out for an early 40th birthday bash!
Good fun was had by all - went to The Great Wall for chinese smorg, then to Tim Horton`s for coffees, then watched 1985`s best movie, Critters, then had a quick game of cards and, alas, I had to travel back home.
Maybe we`ll do it again in another 40 years! lol
Good fun was had by all - went to The Great Wall for chinese smorg, then to Tim Horton`s for coffees, then watched 1985`s best movie, Critters, then had a quick game of cards and, alas, I had to travel back home.
Maybe we`ll do it again in another 40 years! lol
followers of Christ, should follow Christ (but most don't)
The lady behind the cash register at my local grocery store is a nice enough person, if a little ‘mentally simple’. And in telling this little story, in no way am I meaning to pick on her.
There she is, pushing my groceries over the scanner, when she tells me that I should get an air miles card. She then goes on to tell me how she just bought some CDs for her daughter, using her air miles. “Yeah, CDs by that singer, you know the one…she’s really popular…” I am looking at her blankly, of course. I’m thinking, “geez lady, can’t you just bag my groceries and grunt, like everybody else at this store does?”
“You know the one,” she says, looking to me for help. “She’s popular…not April Wine…” I almost exploded into a coughing fit at that remark…not April Wine…oh boy!
She goes on…”Oh, she just got out of rehab again!”
I shake my head. “Sorry, I don’t know, and I don’t listen to that sort of music,” I say to her.
“Oh, Lady Gaga!” she says, grinning, not paying any attention to the fact that I DON’T CARE! “Yeah, she’s a bit weird, but she is really good,” she says to me.
Now, here is the part that I don’t understand…
Why would you brag to a total stranger, about buying CDs for your daughter, when your moral compass is so broken that you would buy her CDs featuring a spoiled millionaire sex-addict drug-and-alcohol-addled singer? Why would ANYBODY want the lyrics their children are listening to and being influenced by, to be written by a singer whose greatest talent is acting like a total prostitute? Then, top this off with the fact that this singer is addicted to chemical substances…
Okay, I get it, this lady And her daughter probably aren’t Christians.
The problem is, you can’t tell a Christian from a non-believer anymore. The churches are full of wolves in sheep`s clothing, people who think they are believers, but do not have Christ within them. And these people, they are influencing the believers, causing them to become more and more like the world, to the point where there is no differenced anymore!
Congratulations, Christians. You`ve failed. All this, shown by a ga-ga lady talking about Lady Ga-Ga…
There she is, pushing my groceries over the scanner, when she tells me that I should get an air miles card. She then goes on to tell me how she just bought some CDs for her daughter, using her air miles. “Yeah, CDs by that singer, you know the one…she’s really popular…” I am looking at her blankly, of course. I’m thinking, “geez lady, can’t you just bag my groceries and grunt, like everybody else at this store does?”
“You know the one,” she says, looking to me for help. “She’s popular…not April Wine…” I almost exploded into a coughing fit at that remark…not April Wine…oh boy!
She goes on…”Oh, she just got out of rehab again!”
I shake my head. “Sorry, I don’t know, and I don’t listen to that sort of music,” I say to her.
“Oh, Lady Gaga!” she says, grinning, not paying any attention to the fact that I DON’T CARE! “Yeah, she’s a bit weird, but she is really good,” she says to me.
Now, here is the part that I don’t understand…
Why would you brag to a total stranger, about buying CDs for your daughter, when your moral compass is so broken that you would buy her CDs featuring a spoiled millionaire sex-addict drug-and-alcohol-addled singer? Why would ANYBODY want the lyrics their children are listening to and being influenced by, to be written by a singer whose greatest talent is acting like a total prostitute? Then, top this off with the fact that this singer is addicted to chemical substances…
Okay, I get it, this lady And her daughter probably aren’t Christians.
The problem is, you can’t tell a Christian from a non-believer anymore. The churches are full of wolves in sheep`s clothing, people who think they are believers, but do not have Christ within them. And these people, they are influencing the believers, causing them to become more and more like the world, to the point where there is no differenced anymore!
Congratulations, Christians. You`ve failed. All this, shown by a ga-ga lady talking about Lady Ga-Ga…
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Sugar Coated Killers, live, December 10th 2010
As uploaded to YouTube, by me, after having been recorded, by me, on December 10th 2010. With the official (for now) disbanding of Severed Serenity, Sugar Coated Killers are now offically my favourite local band! Yay!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Seen, But No Evidence...
Got to see Sugar Coated Killers perform last night, with Shiray. Fun times. Took some video and photos.
Unfortunately, found out that I lost my installation CD after five years for my camera, and without it I cannot install any drivers on my new pc. Long story short, i have a camera full of photos and video, and currently no way to get them from the camera to my computer...
Hopefully Canon sends me a new one, tout de suite!
That it for now. But the SC Killers rocked, as always. Great show.
Unfortunately, found out that I lost my installation CD after five years for my camera, and without it I cannot install any drivers on my new pc. Long story short, i have a camera full of photos and video, and currently no way to get them from the camera to my computer...
Hopefully Canon sends me a new one, tout de suite!
That it for now. But the SC Killers rocked, as always. Great show.
Friday, December 10, 2010
still waters
I am still blogging over at
http://a-cutt-above.blogspot.com/
where I have 11 chapters of my ongoing story about the superhero team CUTT (the Canadian Ultra Tactical Team) posted already, and currently I have written two-thirds of chapter twelve so I expect it to be posted up there within a few days.
If yuo haven't checked it out, you should. It is my life's work, right now. The site features a front page that explains a little bit about the online serial superhero comic "A CUTT Above". It also features the opportunity to sign up as a 'Follower' of the story. There are character bios for all the main characters, with pictures of them, so you readers can keep them all straight, and then there is the section that allows you to pick which chapter you wish to read.
All of this greatness, created and posted by little ol' me! (You're welcome!)
http://a-cutt-above.blogspot.com/
where I have 11 chapters of my ongoing story about the superhero team CUTT (the Canadian Ultra Tactical Team) posted already, and currently I have written two-thirds of chapter twelve so I expect it to be posted up there within a few days.
If yuo haven't checked it out, you should. It is my life's work, right now. The site features a front page that explains a little bit about the online serial superhero comic "A CUTT Above". It also features the opportunity to sign up as a 'Follower' of the story. There are character bios for all the main characters, with pictures of them, so you readers can keep them all straight, and then there is the section that allows you to pick which chapter you wish to read.
All of this greatness, created and posted by little ol' me! (You're welcome!)
Friday, December 3, 2010
hello!
Hi All,
Haven't written much here, so that I would drop by for a quick moment or two.
I have been spending my time doing several things lately...
first, organizing my notes on my characters in the story i am writing, which means less writing but more work.
second, starting plans for a second, completely un-related story.
third, I just wrote and posted here http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/ a short (three chapter) fan-fiction Alpha Flight story, which i also shared with my online friends at alphaflight.net
fourth, been watching a lot of NHL hockey lately, plus Lebron James' return to Cleveland last night!
that's about it, other than work!
spending time with my daughter tonight (and visiting my parents), taping the Blackhawks-Canucks game (go Hawks!) so i can watch it later tonight.
Oh, and gaming on my computer. Still haven't gotten back to my Baldur's Gate game yet, but am now in chapter three of my Neverwinter Nights 2 game! fun, fun, fun!
until next time, ta ta!
Haven't written much here, so that I would drop by for a quick moment or two.
I have been spending my time doing several things lately...
first, organizing my notes on my characters in the story i am writing, which means less writing but more work.
second, starting plans for a second, completely un-related story.
third, I just wrote and posted here http://canadas-own-the-flight.blogspot.com/ a short (three chapter) fan-fiction Alpha Flight story, which i also shared with my online friends at alphaflight.net
fourth, been watching a lot of NHL hockey lately, plus Lebron James' return to Cleveland last night!
that's about it, other than work!
spending time with my daughter tonight (and visiting my parents), taping the Blackhawks-Canucks game (go Hawks!) so i can watch it later tonight.
Oh, and gaming on my computer. Still haven't gotten back to my Baldur's Gate game yet, but am now in chapter three of my Neverwinter Nights 2 game! fun, fun, fun!
until next time, ta ta!
Friday, November 12, 2010
hello! - all about Storm of Zehir
It's been a long time since I blogged. Just been doing lots of working, gaming, and writing.
Haven't blogged about "Baldur's Gate" in a long time. Reason being, haven't played it in a long time. Got sidetracked, in a good way. Played "Neverwinter Nights 1" right through. Am now playing "Neverwinter Nights 2", and am thoroughly enjoying it, playing as a female half-elf (half human, half drow) named Tarnalia Lucklass. Tarnalia is a Swashbuckler, so she relies mainly on dexterity and uses two (magical) rapiers as weapons. Its pretty cool, how she twists and turns in the air while she slices and dices! Lots of fun.
At the same time, idecided to give "Neverwinter Nights 2:Storm of Zehir" a whirl as wel,, never having played it before. Although slightly slower paced, I am totally enjoying being able to create and control a party of four, much like in Icewind Dale (but much much better).
Below is my party...
1. Harjuana Djimnut
(Click to see it bigger)
Harjuana is a female, human, black, a Ranger/Rogue(Thief). As a Ranger, she is working towards becoming a Stalker, an expert at moving stealthily.
Her alignment is Neutral Good, her deity is Shiallia, and her background is Veteran.
Strength = 12
Dexterity = 15
Constitution = 14
Intelligence = 14
Wisdom = 14
Charisma = 10
She is a two-weapon fighter. For a distance weapon, she uses a magical crossbow.
2. Szimon Norhausen
(Click to see it bigger)
Szimon is a male Gray Orc, one of those orcs who lives deep inside the mountains and are not often seen by others. He is a Cleric, working at becoming a Warpriest. As a Grey Orc Cleric, Szimon is quiet, but very passionate about his calling and can run off into battle in a rage at times if he thinks that his deity demands it of him.
His alignment is Chaotic Good, his deity is Selune, and his background is Devout.
Strength = 14
Dexterity = 11
Constitution = 15
Intelligence = 11
Wisdom = 14
Charimsa = 13
His weapon of choice is a Greataxe (he hopes to be able to afford to purchase a magical one very soon).
3. Darqhamer Deepbledder
(Click to see it bigger)
Darqhamer is a male gnome, specifically a Deep Gnome. Deep Gnomes, as their name implies, live deep in the earth and are not normally seen on the surface. He is a Warlock, a natural magic-caster with no need to memorize spells; he casts them through pure willpower. Deep Gnomes do not usually speak much, but Darqhamer is an exception to this rule.
His alignment is Lawful Evil, his deity is Loviatar, and his background is Tale-Teller.
Strength = 6
Dexterity = 16
Constitution = 14
Intelligence = 12
Wisdom = 10
Charisma = 14
When battle presses around him and he is forced to do hand-to-hand combat, Darqhamer uses a +1 Warmace. Luckily, his extremely short stature makes him a hard target to hit!
4. Naytashe Oaktaller
(Click to see it bigger)
Naytashe is a female Wood Elf, a Fighter by trade who is working at becoming a Weaponsmaster in the use of the Longsword.
Wood Elves usually are not seen in public, but hide deep in the forests they call home; they have golden or copper coloured skin.
Her alignment is Lawful Neutral, her deity is Red Knight, and her background is Militia.
Strength = 15
Dexterity = 15
Constitution = 16
Intelligence = 12
Wisdom = 8
Charisma = 8
Naytasha fights with a Longsword and shield (and hopes to get a magical Longsword as soon as she can).
Drawn together after the fall of the King of Shadows, these four unlikely adventurers became known as Harjuana's Four, whose motto became "Pirate Booty Call!" as they tended to stay near the coastlines in the adventuring.
Haven't blogged about "Baldur's Gate" in a long time. Reason being, haven't played it in a long time. Got sidetracked, in a good way. Played "Neverwinter Nights 1" right through. Am now playing "Neverwinter Nights 2", and am thoroughly enjoying it, playing as a female half-elf (half human, half drow) named Tarnalia Lucklass. Tarnalia is a Swashbuckler, so she relies mainly on dexterity and uses two (magical) rapiers as weapons. Its pretty cool, how she twists and turns in the air while she slices and dices! Lots of fun.
At the same time, idecided to give "Neverwinter Nights 2:Storm of Zehir" a whirl as wel,, never having played it before. Although slightly slower paced, I am totally enjoying being able to create and control a party of four, much like in Icewind Dale (but much much better).
Below is my party...
1. Harjuana Djimnut
(Click to see it bigger)
Harjuana is a female, human, black, a Ranger/Rogue(Thief). As a Ranger, she is working towards becoming a Stalker, an expert at moving stealthily.
Her alignment is Neutral Good, her deity is Shiallia, and her background is Veteran.
Strength = 12
Dexterity = 15
Constitution = 14
Intelligence = 14
Wisdom = 14
Charisma = 10
She is a two-weapon fighter. For a distance weapon, she uses a magical crossbow.
2. Szimon Norhausen
(Click to see it bigger)
Szimon is a male Gray Orc, one of those orcs who lives deep inside the mountains and are not often seen by others. He is a Cleric, working at becoming a Warpriest. As a Grey Orc Cleric, Szimon is quiet, but very passionate about his calling and can run off into battle in a rage at times if he thinks that his deity demands it of him.
His alignment is Chaotic Good, his deity is Selune, and his background is Devout.
Strength = 14
Dexterity = 11
Constitution = 15
Intelligence = 11
Wisdom = 14
Charimsa = 13
His weapon of choice is a Greataxe (he hopes to be able to afford to purchase a magical one very soon).
3. Darqhamer Deepbledder
(Click to see it bigger)
Darqhamer is a male gnome, specifically a Deep Gnome. Deep Gnomes, as their name implies, live deep in the earth and are not normally seen on the surface. He is a Warlock, a natural magic-caster with no need to memorize spells; he casts them through pure willpower. Deep Gnomes do not usually speak much, but Darqhamer is an exception to this rule.
His alignment is Lawful Evil, his deity is Loviatar, and his background is Tale-Teller.
Strength = 6
Dexterity = 16
Constitution = 14
Intelligence = 12
Wisdom = 10
Charisma = 14
When battle presses around him and he is forced to do hand-to-hand combat, Darqhamer uses a +1 Warmace. Luckily, his extremely short stature makes him a hard target to hit!
4. Naytashe Oaktaller
(Click to see it bigger)
Naytashe is a female Wood Elf, a Fighter by trade who is working at becoming a Weaponsmaster in the use of the Longsword.
Wood Elves usually are not seen in public, but hide deep in the forests they call home; they have golden or copper coloured skin.
Her alignment is Lawful Neutral, her deity is Red Knight, and her background is Militia.
Strength = 15
Dexterity = 15
Constitution = 16
Intelligence = 12
Wisdom = 8
Charisma = 8
Naytasha fights with a Longsword and shield (and hopes to get a magical Longsword as soon as she can).
Drawn together after the fall of the King of Shadows, these four unlikely adventurers became known as Harjuana's Four, whose motto became "Pirate Booty Call!" as they tended to stay near the coastlines in the adventuring.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Otta B. Committed
I’ve committed myself.
I am currently committed to “the process”. Healing. Hurting. They are all part of the same thing, aren’t they? In order to heal, you must be willing to hurt.
I have recently committed myself to allowing God to do whatever He wants to do in me. And I am recognizing that He wants to heal my heart, the area where I am most hurt, and most vulnerable. To do so, He must dig up the things I have buried.
That hurts, and the natural thing to do is to bury what hurts and ignore it until it seems to go away...but it never does, and you never get rid of the stench that way.
So, I am being brutally honest with myself lately. Praying that God uses that to bring me to the place inside that He wants me to be at. Allowing God to have the driver’s seat, relinquishing control to Him.
For instance, realizing that I feel ‘invisible’ right now. Almost a sense that the last twenty years of my life have not even really existed. I’m like a mist, a vapour, not really affecting anything around me. At least, that is how I feel.
Also, feeling bitterness and pain and sorrow in regards to Melanie. It’s kind of hard to explain...
...I guess it would best be said this way; After Rachelle and I split up, Melanie showed up, and she offered me alternatives. While I was still married, with hope out there that things could turn around for Rachelle and I, instead I listened to the advice of another woman. She encouraged me to give up on Rachelle and go it alone, and strongly hinted that she might be willing to be the love in my life. She told me that she would be there for me. She told me that her marriage was crap, too, and that she would be leaving her husband. When push came to shove, that was all a lie, and she betrayed me.
It isn’t so much that I blame Melanie. She is just another scared and hurting human being, with a sinful nature that cannot do good. It isn’t so much her fault, as it is my own. But I do feel betrayed by her. I trusted her with all my heart, and she let me down in the very worst possible way. Is it any wonder that, years later, I am still dealing with that pain and disappointment?
It is all part of “the process”. Healing, hurting, they are interchangeable. You can’t have healing, without a ripping apart of the emotions so that Doctor God can knit things back together in a proper manner.
And it hurts.
You have to be willing to hurt. Daily willing.
It’s not easy. It’s not nice.
But the alternative, to stay broken, is not a good thing.
Whatever it takes. Whatever God wants. I just want to be willing.
I am currently committed to “the process”. Healing. Hurting. They are all part of the same thing, aren’t they? In order to heal, you must be willing to hurt.
I have recently committed myself to allowing God to do whatever He wants to do in me. And I am recognizing that He wants to heal my heart, the area where I am most hurt, and most vulnerable. To do so, He must dig up the things I have buried.
That hurts, and the natural thing to do is to bury what hurts and ignore it until it seems to go away...but it never does, and you never get rid of the stench that way.
So, I am being brutally honest with myself lately. Praying that God uses that to bring me to the place inside that He wants me to be at. Allowing God to have the driver’s seat, relinquishing control to Him.
For instance, realizing that I feel ‘invisible’ right now. Almost a sense that the last twenty years of my life have not even really existed. I’m like a mist, a vapour, not really affecting anything around me. At least, that is how I feel.
Also, feeling bitterness and pain and sorrow in regards to Melanie. It’s kind of hard to explain...
...I guess it would best be said this way; After Rachelle and I split up, Melanie showed up, and she offered me alternatives. While I was still married, with hope out there that things could turn around for Rachelle and I, instead I listened to the advice of another woman. She encouraged me to give up on Rachelle and go it alone, and strongly hinted that she might be willing to be the love in my life. She told me that she would be there for me. She told me that her marriage was crap, too, and that she would be leaving her husband. When push came to shove, that was all a lie, and she betrayed me.
It isn’t so much that I blame Melanie. She is just another scared and hurting human being, with a sinful nature that cannot do good. It isn’t so much her fault, as it is my own. But I do feel betrayed by her. I trusted her with all my heart, and she let me down in the very worst possible way. Is it any wonder that, years later, I am still dealing with that pain and disappointment?
It is all part of “the process”. Healing, hurting, they are interchangeable. You can’t have healing, without a ripping apart of the emotions so that Doctor God can knit things back together in a proper manner.
And it hurts.
You have to be willing to hurt. Daily willing.
It’s not easy. It’s not nice.
But the alternative, to stay broken, is not a good thing.
Whatever it takes. Whatever God wants. I just want to be willing.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Lonely is a state (of punishment)
I am alone.
I feel alone.
I hurt alone.
I am consumed by my aloneness.
Those of you who are not alone, have no real clue what it means, how it feels, the torment, the agony. The hopelessness. The inability to overcome.
I wrote this poem -
Dead Grass (In Judgement Of Self)
The grass is not greener
The silence is not sweeter
You make your bed and you lay in it
(bedsores and bedbugs and all).
Time is not more precious
Friends are not dearer
Your path is not clearer
When you turn out the light.
Dreams are not more pleasant
That cold can of beans you eat is not pheasant
Everything is washed down with a helping of crow
And the feathers stick to the tar on your skin
Like sin.
The reward you seek is not closer
The dreams you keep are not more achievable
In the silence you weep at your lonely, empty table
And nothing you wanted is here.
Nothing you’ve wanted is here
All that comforts you is your own fear
Of the dark, of the lonesomeness
And of your own self.
The victories you see are failures disguised
The grass that you see is not greener at all
Divorce is a candy that chokes you like cyanide
And the freedom you seek takes you for the longest of falls.
October 31st, 2010
I wish, some days, most days, that I had never listened to my own self. I lied to me.
I wish, some days, most days, that i had never listened to the voice sof others, those who promised much, who promised joy, who promised to stand by me, then left me laughing alone.
Betrayed by self, betrayed by others - suffering alone.
The worst possible marriage, to the worst possible person, would be a thousand times better than being alone.
Some lyrics that express me to me lately...
"Alone" by James Labrie
Don't want to lie to you
Don't want to cause you pain
But it's all I ever do
And it's driving me insane
So how much deeper will I sink
So how much further will I dare to go
I've gone so far that I can't think
Can't take it all away
But I want you to know
I never meant to hurt you
What did I turn into
And now... I just have this feeling
Sorry's lost its meaning
And I feel alone...
It's not the same tonight
And will never be again
I was wrong and you were right
Now I have this mess I'm in
I can't continue on my own
The guilt I carry now is much to bare
For Heaven's sake answer your phone
Can't take the past away
But honestly I swear...
I never meant to hurt you
What did I turn into
And now... I just have this feeling
Sorry's lost its meaning
And I feel alone
Now...
I never meant to hurt you
What did I turn into
And now... I just have this feeling
Sorry's lost its meaning
And now...
I never meant to hurt you
What did I turn into
And now... I just have this feeling
Sorry's lost its meaning
And I feel alone
"Invisible" by James Labrie
Look in the mirror
Does it look familiar
Cannot put my finger
Why he kinda looks like me
Used to like hooking up with you
After waking first thing I'd do
One sided sensation
Watching me watching you
Now I'm stuck how I feel
I don't know if it's real
I'm trying to find someone
Who's invisible
Now I'm stuck in the middle
My life is the riddle
Trying to find someone
Who's invisible
No way
I cannot lie
I haven't felt right
And I don't know why
Drowning
No coming up for air
And part of me
Just wants to be left there
Living a constant lie
How much longer
I'd rather die
So bitter
Tongue twisted
Has me paralyzed
They claim they know me
Who I'm supposed to be
A quick fix sure remedy
Another needly plunges deep
Now I'm stuck how I feel
I don't know if it's real
I'm trying to find someone
Who's invisible
Now I'm stuck in the middle
My life is the riddle
Trying to find someone
Who's invisible
No way
I cannot lie
I haven't felt right
And I don't know why
Drowning
No coming up for air
And part of me
Just wants to be left right there
No way
I cannot lie
I haven't felt right
And I don't care why
Drowning
No coming up for air
And part of me
Wants to be left right there
No way
No way
No way
No way out
No way
No way
No way
No way out
There is nothing I hate so much, as being alone.
I feel alone.
I hurt alone.
I am consumed by my aloneness.
Those of you who are not alone, have no real clue what it means, how it feels, the torment, the agony. The hopelessness. The inability to overcome.
I wrote this poem -
Dead Grass (In Judgement Of Self)
The grass is not greener
The silence is not sweeter
You make your bed and you lay in it
(bedsores and bedbugs and all).
Time is not more precious
Friends are not dearer
Your path is not clearer
When you turn out the light.
Dreams are not more pleasant
That cold can of beans you eat is not pheasant
Everything is washed down with a helping of crow
And the feathers stick to the tar on your skin
Like sin.
The reward you seek is not closer
The dreams you keep are not more achievable
In the silence you weep at your lonely, empty table
And nothing you wanted is here.
Nothing you’ve wanted is here
All that comforts you is your own fear
Of the dark, of the lonesomeness
And of your own self.
The victories you see are failures disguised
The grass that you see is not greener at all
Divorce is a candy that chokes you like cyanide
And the freedom you seek takes you for the longest of falls.
October 31st, 2010
I wish, some days, most days, that I had never listened to my own self. I lied to me.
I wish, some days, most days, that i had never listened to the voice sof others, those who promised much, who promised joy, who promised to stand by me, then left me laughing alone.
Betrayed by self, betrayed by others - suffering alone.
The worst possible marriage, to the worst possible person, would be a thousand times better than being alone.
Some lyrics that express me to me lately...
"Alone" by James Labrie
Don't want to lie to you
Don't want to cause you pain
But it's all I ever do
And it's driving me insane
So how much deeper will I sink
So how much further will I dare to go
I've gone so far that I can't think
Can't take it all away
But I want you to know
I never meant to hurt you
What did I turn into
And now... I just have this feeling
Sorry's lost its meaning
And I feel alone...
It's not the same tonight
And will never be again
I was wrong and you were right
Now I have this mess I'm in
I can't continue on my own
The guilt I carry now is much to bare
For Heaven's sake answer your phone
Can't take the past away
But honestly I swear...
I never meant to hurt you
What did I turn into
And now... I just have this feeling
Sorry's lost its meaning
And I feel alone
Now...
I never meant to hurt you
What did I turn into
And now... I just have this feeling
Sorry's lost its meaning
And now...
I never meant to hurt you
What did I turn into
And now... I just have this feeling
Sorry's lost its meaning
And I feel alone
"Invisible" by James Labrie
Look in the mirror
Does it look familiar
Cannot put my finger
Why he kinda looks like me
Used to like hooking up with you
After waking first thing I'd do
One sided sensation
Watching me watching you
Now I'm stuck how I feel
I don't know if it's real
I'm trying to find someone
Who's invisible
Now I'm stuck in the middle
My life is the riddle
Trying to find someone
Who's invisible
No way
I cannot lie
I haven't felt right
And I don't know why
Drowning
No coming up for air
And part of me
Just wants to be left there
Living a constant lie
How much longer
I'd rather die
So bitter
Tongue twisted
Has me paralyzed
They claim they know me
Who I'm supposed to be
A quick fix sure remedy
Another needly plunges deep
Now I'm stuck how I feel
I don't know if it's real
I'm trying to find someone
Who's invisible
Now I'm stuck in the middle
My life is the riddle
Trying to find someone
Who's invisible
No way
I cannot lie
I haven't felt right
And I don't know why
Drowning
No coming up for air
And part of me
Just wants to be left right there
No way
I cannot lie
I haven't felt right
And I don't care why
Drowning
No coming up for air
And part of me
Wants to be left right there
No way
No way
No way
No way out
No way
No way
No way
No way out
There is nothing I hate so much, as being alone.
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